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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get a dog..

157 replies

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 14:25

with a 1, 2 and 3 year old?

I've had afew comments from family and friends saying I shouldn't have a dog with young children.
I'm buying it as a puppy from a friend and have done alot of research online about the breed and its an ideal family dog and excellent with children. It wont have the run of the house as I have stair gates up so can keep it away from the children say if I'm cooking or cleaning.
So.. AIBU?

OP posts:

grovel · 21/02/2011 14:27

No, you are not (if you really understand the full commitment).

TheMonster · 21/02/2011 14:27

DooinMeCleanin · 21/02/2011 14:28

YANBU to get a dog. YABU to buy a puppy. Rescue dogs from a reputable place will have been tested for suitability with children, puppies have not, you get no guarentees that the dog will grow to become good with children, just because he/she has been raised with them. Plus ime, toddler + puppy = living hell.

Have you had dogs before?

Lizcat · 21/02/2011 14:28

I would ask do you want a 4th child if the answer is yes then go ahead as a dog is pretty much the same as having another child.
Personally I could only cope with one lot of learning to be well behaved/ toilet training at a time so waited until DD was 6 to get the dog.

ddubsgirl · 21/02/2011 14:29

i grew up having a dog in the home and have a dog now,pets are wonderful just dont leave the pup alone with the kids and teach the kids not to grab at the pup and teach the kids the warning signs a dog will give when its had enough

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 14:29

as long as you have the dog's best interests at the forefront of your mind you are doing the right thing. if you can't commit to always making sure the dog has it's needs fully met every single day then I'm afraid i would tell the friend sorry but you can't do right by the dog.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 21/02/2011 14:31

I had 2 dogs when I had 3 children and didn't really have time for the dogs so it was unfair on the dogs.

Before DC4 arrived I had the dogs rehomed and now they live in the lap of luxury and are the 'babies' again. :)

Puppies are bloody hard work and house training will be a nightmare with littlies kicking about.

gegs73 · 21/02/2011 14:31

I would be wary with children that young. Puppies jump on children, playbite, wee/poo everywhere, chew toys, jump on things, dig etc etc. Unless you are ready and accepting of all of this, I personally would wait until your youngest is a little older.

We got our dog when my youngest was 2 which was doable but hard work. I only say this as I'm a dog walker and was paying puppy visits recently to a family with a lab puppy and a 1 and 7 year old. The dog was rehomed after one week

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 21/02/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/02/2011 14:34

Christ, are you mad?

I would leave it a few years tbh.

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 14:35

Dooin- I wouldn't rehome a dog because a relative of mine did after being told it was good with children, he was fine for afew months but then went for their 18 month old daughters face for no reason at all apart from her making abit of noise. I'm sure thats not what all rehomed dogs are like but thats what has put me off rehoming one with children.Oh and I have had dogs growing up.

Lizcat- I atually do want a fourth child but have settled for a dog.

I fully understand the commitment dogs require

OP posts:

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 21/02/2011 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winnybella · 21/02/2011 14:37

B52s · 21/02/2011 14:37

Don't do it. Not a puppy, not a breed.
A scrufty rag tag of an older mutt, yes, possibly. Just not a puppy.

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 14:38

bigbitch you know tehre is no guarantee that a puppy wont snap either, just because it is raised with children doesn't mean it has the temperament for it.

DooinMeCleanin · 21/02/2011 14:42

Is there any puppies you can borrow for a day? I had my own dogs before I ahd dc. And my own puppy when I was pg. None of that prepared me for the sheer hell that was two small children and a puppy. I was literally driven to tears on more than one occassion.

The puppy was at one point driven to my mums and I wasn't entirely sure I was going back for her. Anyone who knows me on here will be able to tell you how far I must have pushed for me to consider rehoming a dog of my own.

That was just two small children, both of whom had lived with older dogs before and were very wll trained on how to behave around them.

I'm not trying to put you off, you just need to understand how hard it is before you commit to the dog, for sake yourself aswell as the dog.

Having to consider rehoming a much loved family pet because you cannot cope is heartbreaking.

I would give serious consideration to a rescue dog. What happened to your friend is very rare. And there is no guarentee that a puppy wouldn't bite or damage your child. I recently helped a friend of my sisters find training help for her puppy and he bit and drew blood on her toddlers foot, during play that went too far.

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 21/02/2011 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 15:02

Dooin- My friend is going to let us have a 'trial' with the puppy for afew days before we commit to buying her. I understand what happenened with my friend is rare but it has put me off I'm afraid.
My children (bar the youngest) know about being gentle with animals they have been around them alot.

Engelbert- I go jogging most days so the puppy will come with me, but I will train her to walk alongside the buggy (aka 'The tank' its a double) so she will if I need to.

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 21/02/2011 15:07

you wont be able to jog with a puppy for a while you know. it is recommended that puppies are walked for 5 minutes for every month of their life, twice a day. so for a 12 week old puppy that is 15 minutes of walking, two times a day.

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 15:13

Oh yeah i know Booy I mean when its bigger and needs more exercise. I'll probably take it on the nersery run till its bigger.

OP posts:

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 15:13

nursery*

OP posts:

coccyx · 21/02/2011 15:14

wait a few years. Can't see how you will have enough time for it.

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/02/2011 15:16

I know myself I will have time.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 21/02/2011 15:27

I doubt you'll have enough time with children that age to look after.

weefriend · 21/02/2011 15:29

I would rather go for a puppy than a rescue. There's no such thing as a fool proof assessment so to say that dogs in rescues are assessed for suitability is a bit pointless. That is why so many of them won't rehome dogs to families with children under 5. Don't get me wrong, I think rehoming dogs is a great thing to do but I personally wouldn't do it with an under 5 in the house.

That said puppies are very hard work. Yes they grow up quicker than babies but that makes it all the more labour intensive because you have a very short time to teach them everything they need to know. Even if you have had dogs before I recommend Gwen Bailey's "The Perfect Puppy".

Also having a dog, particularly a puppy, with small children is just like some kind of extreme torture. Their needs can really conflict at times and I have to admit at times I've felt the dog hasn't had the attention he really deserves. The novelty of regular walks very quickly wears off for the kids and you have to drag them out under protest. 3 yr olds in particular are terrible for this and since you have 3 of them you don't really have the option of chucking 3 yr old in a buggy and getting on with it which has been my only way to survive at times!

If you think you can manage all of that then go for it. A well researched breed, from a known source, with known, well behaved, parents has a great chance of growing into a wonderful family pet. We've just got back from our walk today with my 2 kids (7 and nearly 4) on their bikes. Dog has had a walk, kids have had a bike ride and a good play in a playground, and we've all had some much needed fresh air. I think it's fantastic for us as a family that we are pushed into getting out every day and I think it has been very good for my mental health over the years too, to be able to get out and see and chat with people every day when life with very young kids has been hard at times. Stair gates are brilliant and have meant when the kids were very small I could keep dog and kids apart without having to be standing over them constantly and without shutting the dog out altogether.

Good luck.

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