to get a dog..

[bigbitch90]

with a 1, 2 and 3 year old?

I've had afew comments from family and friends saying I shouldn't have a dog with young children.
I'm buying it as a puppy from a friend and have done alot of research online about the breed and its an ideal family dog and excellent with children. It wont have the run of the house as I have stair gates up so can keep it away from the children say if I'm cooking or cleaning.
So.. AIBU?

I think there are only certain times in your life when it's do-able to take care of a dog and not be out at work most of the day. And when you're at home with children is good. It'll be nice for them to grow up together.
So long as you're clear about how much is involved with taking a puppy on.

TBH OP it doesn't sound like you really have a clue what is involved or why rescues wont normally rehome to families with under fives.

slubber- ive bookmarked that website looks really good

diddl- I have three children to look after when I'm ill so I;m used to just getting on with things. I do have an OH that is here to look after the children while I give it some quality training time

If your friend didn't happen to have puppies, would you have actively sought to get one? If not, don't do it. Also, is your friend a responsible breeder? Have all the correct health tests for the breed concerned been carried out with good results, are the puppies KC registered? What socialisation will they have, what temprement are the parents? What vet checks will the puppy have prior to being homed? Are the parents both proven either in the show ring or working field? These are all things you need to consider, even if the puppy is from a friend.

I would think very, very carefully about having a puppy with such young children. It's not like having another baby, it is much, much harder. Puppies need lots an lots of time put into training them and if you don't have time you will not end up with a well socialised, well behaved dog that is a pleasure to have around.

Also, please do not write off a rescue dog. Some of those are puppies too! Not all older dogs have unknown history, plenty of rescue dogs are older puppies (6-12 months) or dogs with a know history. Some breeders take back dogs they have bred to rehome to and breed rescue sometimes know about these and they will all usually have a known history.

Go for it. We had the dog then dc and am so glad we kept the doggie . One piece of advice tho - our dog sleeps indoors, always has but if you have a choice get your puppy to be an 'outdoor' doggie- sleep in a kennel basically but allowed in when supervised or if it's really cold etc It'll make your life much much easier.

Paisley- I agree, I'm currently at home with the children and as soon as the eldest two are at school I plan to get a job. It seems to be the best time then when I'm working and noone will be here for the dog.

I wouldn't. I had a mature dog from a shelter when my youngest was 3 but waited until a year ago (youngest now 9) to get a puppy. She was my first puppy and very hard work even though she was actually easy to toilet train. It was the mouthing/ play biting that was hard, even with older kids. I would be extremely wary with babies as I doubt you would have the time to devote to a pup. [sorry]

I love my dog to bits though and don't regret her for a single minute. Just would wait if I were you or re-think and get a rescue dog

If you are planning on going back to work ft you should not be getting a dog at all. Dog's live for 10 - 15 years and need your full commitment throughout their life.

momentsintime why on earth would anyone get a family pet only to make it live outside? it is either a pet or it isn't. plus with the cold winters we have been having, it would mean months at a time indoors so you would still have to train it to live indoors. i don't see your point about making it live outdoors. surely you want your dog to be part of the family.

BigNitch,I didn't not bother to read your post but I admit to missing that out in my haste - I was on my way out to do some work. For that and if because of my haste I was abrupt I apologise.

You asked a question and you have had a variety of answers. I note that many of the warnings against having a puppy are from people who I know from experience on here are very dedicated and knowledgable owners, such as, for example, Booy, Slubber and Dooin - people whose opinion on these sort of matters is worth listening to. It's not just me who has reservations.

Some of those who argued in your favour are coming from different viewpoints - one has equated warnings against and subsequent ownership of a cat, another spoke up to encourage you saying that she also has gorses etc... but she is already a dog owner and knew what she was letting herself in for and has also doubtless got a form of timetable and practical support as she has horses.

Besides that, I resent the continued implication or assertion on here that any decent rescue would home to a family withn young DC a dog with a history of abuse or mishandling or a dog with no history unless in exceptional and well advised circumstances. This is bollocks! It should be said too that a decent rescue will assess the dogs in their care as well as not rehoming a dog with no or a dubious history to a young family.

Finally, and to return to what I said to start with, you asked if you are being unreasonable to get a dog )and then went on to say you're in fact buying a puppy). You then responded to me in particular with a very defensive tone. This is AIBU - it does not provide only the answers that you want to hear. I speak with perhaps more knowledge of what can happen a few months down the line than anyone here, but you only seem to want to hear those who agree with you.

For the record, I have no issue about dogs with well behaved kids - my babies both came home to a house with dogs in it and grew up with those and other dogs, including many fosters, thereafter. I do worry though about novices taking on a pup with very young children, especially more than one child. and of course will always advocate rescuing over buying, with extremely good reason.

you're planning on getting a job?? who's going to look after it then?

I have one child age 2 and we got a puppy last year. Absolutely no regrets. I did look into rescue dogs but most places that I looked at, when they said 'suitable with young children', meant children over 5. The dog and the toddler play together - dd is learning to be gentle, and to throw the ball for a game, and the dog is great - often sticks close to my dd if we are out and she starts to wander away from me. The walks are great - dd has learnt to walk without complaint and we have lots of fun playing with shadows, jumping in puddles and picking blackberries. But, on a cold, rainy day, the prospect of walking for an hour with a damp and p**d off toddler, coming home with a wet dog and having to get child and dog rubbed down etc is horrible! We do it - takes hours to get out while I get dd padded up and waterproofed and the walk itself is miserable. Plus, since my dd has a nap in the afternoon, if we want to go out (to swimming, or toddler group) in the morning, we have to get up and get out quite early, walk the dog, get back, get changed and then get out to the group - a hell of a challenge (especially if the thing starts at 10.00!) and we are often the last ones in, puffing and red-faced! But I won't go out and leave the dog if she hasn't walked. If we don't walk first, then by the time we get home, have lunch and dd has slept, we run out of day in which to walk her! So although there's no way I would change it, I also think with 3 kids it might be really hard going just fitting walks round social things for the dcs and naps etc!

Add Midori to that list of people who know what the feck they are talking about and who are expressing concerns and reservations.

Midori is a very conscientious dog breeder, by the way.

What type of dog is it?

Big bitch if you're used to running around after three chikdren it will probably slot in fine - you're used to chaos and hard work. I've had no problem finding time to train the pup - and tbh having a severely autistic son has been great practice as you need an understanding of reinforcement. He's from a working line so quite clever i think. The main problem I have had is limiting his walks until he's a year old.

So many people told us we wouldn't cope but he's wonderful and just slots in.

I work as well but 95% from home.

What will you do when you have a job? You would need to employ a dog walker at least I think. I woukdn't have reservations about three kids but would about the job - but they can be worked around.

Don't do it.

I was DYING to get a dog for years, but I deliberately waited until the kids were both at school. In fact as it happened I timed it so well that I picked my puppy (and her Mum) up at 7.5 weeks old on the Monday my smallest son started school

It's worked out well, but I absolutely SHUDDER to imagine what it would have been like, trying to housetrain a puppy at the same time as looking after 3 under threes! Not to mention all the other training/socialising/walking etc.

I'll admit it - I had forgotten how much work puppies are. The person who said a puppy is more work than another baby was not exaggerating.

TBH some of the replies on here just make me . Teach it to be an outdoor dog FFS? What's the point getting a dog in the first place? And as for the oft-quoted "Do what's best for you and your family" line - sorry, I disagree. This is a living, breathing being we're talking about. Not a new conservatory

I would like to say something in support of Vallhala here. I have a young dog - she is almost 13 months old. I bought her as an experienced dog owner, having owned a rescue dog before, knowing the breed and fully committed to the training and exercise in wet, cold and miserable weather.

I now find my circumstances have changed. I am relocating from Holland where I live in a fairly large house with a small garden, 2 minutes drive from woods where we walk at least twice a day, every day. I am moving to England and I have to apply for a council or LA house or rent privately. Very few places accept dogs.

Because I am mad about my dog (and my 2 cats) I have paid a lot of money which I can now ill afford to have rabies jabs and blood tests so they can move to England with us. There is no way I will leave them behind and will move heaven and earth to find somewhere to live that accepts dogs. My dog is a lovely family dog, a golden retriever who has been brought up with children and cats. In theory, she could be one of those 'dodgy rescue dogs' you are talking about here OP. But she isn't - she is fabulous and its only because I am totally committed to animal ownership that I am sacrificing other things to make sure she can come with me and my kids.

PLEASE don't assume all rescue dogs are either aggresive or have 'issues'.

Op - have you ever owned a puppy before ? Have you ever owned a dog before ? If the answer to both questions is yes, then I'd say only you know if you can cope with the reality of it. I have lots of issues with a friend whose kids were similar ages to yours. She insisted on spending a fortune on a cute puppy, which subsequently turned out to be a nightmare to train, which the kids would 'not' leave alone and which is now banished to a kennel in the back yard, staring forlornly in the windows

If you've never had a dog, or trained a puppy, then I do think that you would be wiser waiting until your kids are older. But as seems toi be the norm on AIBU, people don't tend to listen to YABU

I'm appalled at the idea of keeping a dog outside. That's wholly unacceptable.

BB90, what will you do when you go to work?

I may be wrong, but you sound very young and a bit naive on the whole issue. Midori had some very pertinent questions - has the breeder carried out all the requirements which Midori asked about?

I have a 4 year old Westie, when I got it I worked. I now don't. I am looking for full time employment and my dog will be left home alone, he sleeps all day or when there is no one in.

Dogs cannot tell the time and there is nothing wrong with them being home alone all day they are not children.

Would YOU want to be home alone all day, every day FabbyChic? Would you like to have to wait hours for a wee if you needed one?

Dogs CAN cope with being alone, but whether they should HAVE to is debatable. Yes, people's circumstances change and some dogs don't seem to mind being left, but saying "There is nothing wrong with them being home alone all day" is a huge, and wrong generalisation.

Oh God, oxo, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation

BB90, I'll second Val with urging you to look at midori's post. You also need to ask your friend if she would take your puppy or dog back at any time in it's life for any reason should you not be able to keep it.

Some very sad comments on this thread.

I think it's in the Culture Clash where it says if zoo animals were kept like some of the dogs in this country there would be an outcry and the zoo shut down.