to get a dog..

[bigbitch90]

with a 1, 2 and 3 year old?

I've had afew comments from family and friends saying I shouldn't have a dog with young children.
I'm buying it as a puppy from a friend and have done alot of research online about the breed and its an ideal family dog and excellent with children. It wont have the run of the house as I have stair gates up so can keep it away from the children say if I'm cooking or cleaning.
So.. AIBU?

weefriend do you think you are more likely to get an accurate match for your family with a dog that has lived with people in the past and spent time with people who know what to look out for or with an 8 week old puppy that has only 8 weeks of history, all spent with it's mother and siblings?

Was just about to say exactly what BooyFuckingHoo said - you can't jog with pups until their joints are stronger and they are older.

We had our girl from a pup for 2 yrs before our son came along but geez she was hard work for the first 6 months. I'm not saying don't do it but I would personally wait a good while.

I have 5 dc age 3,5, 7,10 and 12. We rehomed our 4 year old Weinerama (sp) last year at the same time friend (4 LOs) bought a puppy of the same breed.
Ours had been brought up with a young family so was known to be good with children. Friend lasted about 3 months. The mess, training, chewing drove her crazy she just couldn't cope. Her LOs were distraught when the puppy went.

I would say yes get a dog but not a puppy.

I can see your point Booy, but I've had many dogs over the years, some pups but mostly older rescue dogs. IME a puppy is much more of a blank canvas than an adult dog.

Each rescue dog I've ever had has been lovely, with a great temperament but there has ALWAYS been the odd hang up or two to sort out, leftover from previous home(s) and mishandling. I think well trained, well socialised rescue dogs are few and far between unfortunately - many of them are being rehomed because of owners who have been unwilling or unable to train them properly and can no longer cope.

So personally, I would prefer a puppy with younger children IF you are experienced with raising puppies, you know what your letting yourself in for and you're sure you're able to handle it properly (and that is a big IF!). Unless you can tick those boxes without any doubt in your mind, I would say don't do it.

However, for older children I'd go for a rescue dog every time.

It's not about teaching children to be gentle. Could you teach your children not to run, screech, climb and bounce around the puppy who is chasing them about the floor nipping their toes? They would need to learn to turn their back on the pup and ignore the nipping and bouncing.

What about when the puppy runs off with their favourite teddy, intent on tearing it limb from limb? Could you teach them not to turn it into a game by chasing the pup and trying to tug the toy off him?

Can you teach them not to cry and squeak when you come in after a short trip out and the puppy is so pleased to see you he dives all over them with a flurry of nippy little bites and sharp claws?

What about toiletting the puppy? Would your 1 and 2 yo be happy standing out in the cold for 15 minutes + a go while your waiting for the puppy to decide to do it's stuff? Can you leave them in the house unattended that long while you go out with him?

Puppies bite, scratch, jump, steal toys and food, chew favourite toys and little shoes. And when the pup is between 4 - 6 months old (so not tiny anymore) is when this behaviour is at it's most testing.

as long as you are prepared to:
Pick up its poop daily.
Clean up it's vomit occasionally (try to do it before the dog eats it's own vomit & without being sick yourself - I found this very difficult)
Train it properly & well - this takes time, effort and dedication.
Walk it twice a day.
Deal calmly with all the puppy messes/chewing/ruining stuff that occurs.

If you can fit all that in with your three young kids then YANBU.

Plus are you prepared for all the vet bills? May not cost you very much - just a few innoclulations. May end up costing you an arm & a leg.

the thing i have noticed is not so much that you have to 'set aside' tiem to walk and train teh puppy (you do aswell) but that you are constantly training a puppy. tehre will obviously be the 'proper' 5/10 minute training sessions throughout the day, but especially when puppies are young, tehy are following you about all day and you have to constantly be rewarding the good and distracting from what he shoudln't be doing. i would imagine with three under 3 that will be a bit like constant fire fighting. you will meet yourself coming back!

YANBU to have a dog with young children.

You ARE being unreasonable to write off an older, assessed dog from a reputable rescue.

You ARE being idealistic in taking on a puppy given your current commitments for all the reasons Dooin has stated and more, unless you have a good amount of experience and/or the type of commitment which does not come with the average family or individual.

You don't come into that category of exceptional experience or commitment as your remark about taking a puppy jogging demonstrates.

Am I right in suspecting that you have never owned a dog or puppy of your own before?

You ARE being incredibly unreasonable to buy a puppy when thousands of healthy young dogs and puppies are being killed in pounds across the country each year purely because they have no homes.

I'm sure you'll disagree with me, but answer me this:

Why do you think that so many rescues will not rehome to families with young children and why do you think that those which MIGHT do so are generally so very selective even if they don't have a "no young children" policy?

I'm a rescuer. At the moment and on the strenghth of what you have said here I wouldn't rehome to you as I don't think you have enough knowledge yet and because you don't appear to be suitably experienced - therefore I don't honestly think that the homing of a dog into your family would last.

Do what you think is best for you and your family. Vet bills would be a worry for me, but if you have the money, patience and time then give it a go.

GetOrfMoiLand ^Christ, are you mad?

I would leave it a few years tbh.^

Absolutely this.

The idea of walking a dog twice a day with a 1,2 and 3 year old brings me out in hives but training a puppy!!!!

OP, I'm 10 months on with this puppy lark.

Do you know what makes an ideal family dog that is excellent with children?

Time

Hours and hours and hours of training.

I'm afraid having a puppy is very much like having a baby. You can never appreciate the emotional and time commitment involved until they are there.

With three under three you won't have enough time. You just won't. Please believe me.

I think only you will know what your able to do. My mum didn't think I should get a kitten at first after we lost out cat (am preg) I got one, everythings fine (I don't go near poo thats for DP) and mums even said that the companies good for me on MAT leave and the cats obviously not gonna get neglected. Dogs can be wonderful for kids and teach them loads. If you really think you can do it, then you can

Go for it! We got a puppy at Christmas. She's bloody delightful and we utterly adore her. The dog rescues around here are useless and have let us down numerous times with their impossible rules, but I realise not all rescues are like that. Don't be pushed into getting from a rescue either you need to decide what is suitable for you and your family. We got our cats (sadly one died last year)from a rescue and they were fabulous to deal with (CPL)

DCs are 1, 3 and 5 and we've managed just fine so ignore the "you won't have time" comments if you know that's not the case. We also have another dog, a cat and 4 horses and still manage to fit everything into the day.

Good luck with it all! Our little lady is 17 weeks old now currently sitting next to me sleeping. I adore her!

It's up to you.

We have a puppy with three children (including one severely autistic).

I have always had rescue dogs before but chose not to because I felt it wasn't fair on the rescue dog to be suddenly exposed to a severely autistic child. The breeder played recordings of the kids (especially my severely autistic son) to the litter and the pup has never batted an eyelid at the noises my son makes.

He's coming up to 6 months now - had been very hard work - but I think is the best thing we've ever done. My severely autistic son spent about 10 minutes on the beach today trying to persuade the dog to make eye contact (which dogs don't always like), pup was good as gold. In the end I showed ds1 how to hold a treat next to his eyes, which we used to do with him (choc button next to the eyes) to get him looking in the right direction. Lovely irony!

If you're happy to be out in all weathers, don't mind getting up and cleaning up poo etc go for it. Everyone expressed horror at us daring to get a dog and it has been wonderfu.

Definitely not fair on the dog - no way! He will be pulled, picked up, pummeled, trodden on, tripped over, treated as a toy - and you will expect him to take it with equanimity!

Going through a puppy socialisation checklist was hard enough, particulary as before she was fully vaccinated I carried my puppy everywhere.

Doing it with three small kids in tow I can't imagine it.

And then you have toilet training, bite control/soft mouth, crate training, starting on the basic commands, teaching your puppy not to jump up, loose lead training, recall, drop, off, take it....God the list is endless.

All fantastic to do if you have the time.

Ime of having only two under three I would NEVER have had enough hours in the day to look after my children properly and do all this with the puppy, let alone all the other household chores, shopping cleaning etc etc

But if the Op thinks she can then good luck to her, maybe bigbitch you have a dp at home lots or maybe staff

Val- If you bothered to read the post after that I said I meant I would go jogging when its older.. and she'll come on the nursery run with me every day until then, I said it more so you would all know I've got the motivation to walk a dog if I go jogging daily.
I do not feel I'm being unreasonable not to rehome a dog that may have a history of abuse/reglect/mishandling I don't want to put my children at risk. I dont really care if you wouldnt rehome to me Im buying off a person who has bred/ handled dogs all his life and he will teach me all i need to know, I've spent hours trawling the web how to train a puppy, what I need, how to get the children to treat him etc no I don't have hands on experience but I'm not going to get it without a dog am I?

LadyThumb - I reckon I know my children better then you and they will not treat the dog like that if I teach them not to.

bigbitch. why are you so keen on getting the dog now rather than waiting until your dcs are at a better age. is it just because this dog was offered to you?

Booy- IME people who have gotten puppies when their children are young the dog grows up to be a calm, gentle, loving dog protective of the whole family. She wasn't offered to me.

'I do not feel I'm being unreasonable not to rehome a dog that may have a history of abuse/reglect/mishandling' - ah but you see many young dogs end up in rescue between 6 months and 2 years of age having lived with a family all their lives, because the owners bit off more than they could chew, which is why everyone is advising you against a puppy.

Not all rescue dogs are strays or have been abused. Many of them have a full history and have been assesed by professional behaviourists and a good rescue will offer support for the life of the dog.

Blimey!

We´ve just got a 4yr old mix from a rescue place & I can´t believe how much time it takes up.

I don´t think there´s anything wrong with a puppy & young children.

What if you or the children are ill?

Who would look after the dog?

Puppies are far better with children as they grow up with them.

I had a puppy and he is the sweetest most gentlest dog ever, and loves being petted/played with.

Go for the puppy but remember they do not come house trained and you will need to bear with the shitting and weeing everywhere, plus when they are teething they bite your skirting boards/wooden furniture to ease the pain.