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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mn is a public website. We do not sign up to terms and conditions that say threads may not be discussed outside of mn, on twitter etc...

551 replies

wannaBe · 21/02/2011 09:55

yep, thread about a thread... big deal.

so - thread started on mn. Another poster tweeted about said thread, came back to the thread and said she'd tweeted about it.

Subsequently posters called for her to be banned for tweeting about a sensitive thread, followed by lots of other nasty name-calling.

Thing is, the thread was public anyway. You don't have to be logged into mn to view it. You don't have to have a button next to each post to tweet about it - all you'd have to do is copy/paste the link into twitter. Once you put your private business on a public website you lose control over what happens to it/who talks about it/tweets about it/potentially writes about it in the press.

To suggest that a poster should be banned for talking about a thread that is on a public website, on another public website is ridiculous.

Mn has hundreds of thousands of hits a day. People are very naive if they think that their private, sensitive business is limited to the few people that post on the threads in question.

And people do discuss mn on twitter. Both in terms of threads/the potential genuineness of posters/the outcomes of threads. It's just that they don't come back on to mn to talk about having done so.

OP posts:
TheShriekingHarpy · 21/02/2011 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaperView · 21/02/2011 11:21

AlouiseG - your 290 followers can then retweet to their followers who then retweet who then retweet..........I think that is the issue. It has now gone beyond a poster asking for help with something to someone else who took the decision to take it outside of MN.

Alouiseg · 21/02/2011 11:22

MyGoatsBeenGot I tweeted it for 2 reasons really, firstly to alert the mnetters on twitter that there was a thread kicking off. Secondly because it had turned into an anti porn rant and i wanted a different mindset of people to see it.

Posie It wasnt the distress that was entertaining it was once again the posters who believe that masturbation using porn is disrespectful, dishonest,unnecessary...also being so deluded led to this whole flare up.

Harpy Agree totally, Mumsnet is one of the very few forums where you dont have to sign in to read private threads.

PaperView · 21/02/2011 11:29

AlouiseG - with respect (because i am not picking a fight) you don't know that your followers have a different mindset, there was already a mixture of opinion on the thread (as is the case with most of the replies on every topic)

ScaredOfCows · 21/02/2011 11:29

Shock - well as long as that is what you wanted, fuck anyone else, eh?

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 11:34

I realise that Alouiseg....I know you're not entertained by distress, but that was the overriding theme of the thread for me. I understand different people have different takes on porn, but I think your 'live and let live' attitude made the more serious implications of the thread rather diluted. Irrespective of the views of people about porn a mother had to deal with a very damaging situation with impressionable teen children. They may as well have found out their Dad was having an affair.

The central issue, no matter how it mutated, was not whether or not adults using porn in their own private space was wrong.

Original poster
wannaBe · 21/02/2011 11:35

actually though if someone has a lot of followers from one dynamic then it's not unusual for them to tweet about issues from there, so for instance Alouiseg potentially has a lot of mn'ers following her so it stands to reason that she might tweet about mn threads. Lots of mumsnetters do. Mn clearly want mumsnetters to tweet about mumsnet threads or they wouldn't invite mn'ers to follow them on twitter (yes, even on relationships/bereavement/sn there is the "follow us on twitter/facebook" logo).

If someone is a regular tweeter, or a blogger, or has people they are following from lots of different areas then it's actually not that hard to collect 290 followers.

And that thread had already turned into other peoples' personal agenda. Let's not pretend that it was all lovely and supportive before this.

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 21/02/2011 11:35

Its called Social Networking.

Mumsnet
Twitter
Tumblr
Facebook
Wordpress
MySpace
YouTube

They are just different formats of the same thing (except facebook is now valued at 50billion dollars!

If you think that any of them are here for anything other than profit, think again. Mumsnet dont have to have open boards that anyone can read or link to...but i expect that the advertisers prefer it because the site is easily accessible to ALL.

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 11:46

I can totally see your argument Alouise....but don't you feel a teeny bit bad?

TheShriekingHarpy · 21/02/2011 11:47

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 11:51

True...and I'm trying hard not to blame Alouiseg...this has been a good learning curve.

Alouiseg · 21/02/2011 11:52

Why should i feel bad? There is nothing on her profile, shes not a regular poster (under that name) its not like Twitter where you @name
someone, its totally anonymous.

If I posted on Twitter @posieparker is x y z, then yes its personal and easily identifiable, it is an anonymous problem for a nameless, faceless person.

The op herself says she uses twitter, she knows how it works.

Lovecat · 21/02/2011 11:54

ALG should be ashamed of herself.

That she's still trying to defend her actions speaks volumes, imho.

And a thread about a thread to further the OP's ongoing obsession with no-one saying anything online about anything that is conceiveably contentious in their lives is just...

Does the OP actually like MN? Or want it to be a source of help and support to its members?

I'm sure there are now a lot of MNers who will think twice before reaching out for help here and that is a damn shame (but hey, the tweeter feels justified so no harm done, eh?)

ThePosieParker · 21/02/2011 11:59

Fair enough........I usually am so self obsessed that I put myself in the shoes of the OP!!!

Eleison · 21/02/2011 12:04

You can't really say that MN, Twitter, FB, etc are 'all social networking', all the same. They are different. MN markets itself as being a support community, it markets an alleged consensus around campaigning issues. Twitter et al don't present themselves as communities, and aren't. They are all about the ripple outwards. MN is for a particular set of people, largely British, laregly parents, largely female, etc, more or less for posters to speak to others within the community. Whereas Twitter has no centre: it is just a set of overlapping friend groups, and movement is lightening fast from one friend group to a 100 others by retweet. Everything om Twitter is just a click away from potentially going viral in New Zealand. You wouldn't post on Twitter looking for support on a sensitive subject, even under a pseudonym.

In other words, there is a difference between community sites and social networking.

AitchTwoOh · 21/02/2011 12:06

i was recently accused of having 'drummed up' support on an issue that was being discussed here a while ago (would that i had, i was getting my head kicked in Grin)...

anyway, my conscience is clear on that one, it's not my style, because while i think there is technically nothing wrong with tweeting 'personal' threads from mn, it is in poor taste to encourage gawpers and to ring-in mates to post.

but no, there is nothing actually wrong going on, imo, and no action should be called for.

Alouiseg · 21/02/2011 12:06

Good point, the Venn Diagram crossovers are still there though.

Eleison · 21/02/2011 12:07

Not New Zealand in particular, you understand.Grin

I just mean that Tweeted-out topics move at the speed of light into utterly new, different conversation spaces, that will lack the particular conventions of discourse shared within the community where they originate.

Alouiseg · 21/02/2011 12:07

12.06 was a reply to Eleison

LeninGrad · 21/02/2011 12:09

This reply has been deleted

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LeninGrad · 21/02/2011 12:10

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BitOfFun · 21/02/2011 12:12

Lovecat, you wondered why Alouiseg would cntinue to defend herself, but surely you don't think she should just sit back and take a drubbing without having her say?

Maryz · 21/02/2011 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 21/02/2011 12:13

What can't you delete on Twitter, Len?

Original poster
wannaBe · 21/02/2011 12:15

Why should she feel ashamed exactly?

mn positively encourage posters to tweet about threads. Mn hq twwet about threads all the time. Most mumsnetters on twitter tweet about threads. At the top of every single topic there is a link that says "follow us on twitter/facebook." Even on the topics where there is no "twweet this" link there is a "follow us" link. Nowhere on these boards is there any suggestion that twitter is not an appropriate further discussion point for mumsnet threads. nowhere.

I ask again, if riven had posted in sn instead of chat, would people have not tweeted her thread purely because there was no link?

I agree that we should consider a potential impact before madly tweeting about something (such as in Riven's case), but the onus is on the individual to not post identifyable information on public websites if they don't want to be identified. As it appears the op did just that, and the tweet had more to do with the personal agendas of other posters on that thread, no confidentiality has been breached. A hundred people could have tweeted that thread and no-one would have been any the wiser as to who they were (not every mumsnetter on twitter tweets with their mn username as most have other followers too).

OP posts: