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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mn is a public website. We do not sign up to terms and conditions that say threads may not be discussed outside of mn, on twitter etc...

551 replies

wannaBe · 21/02/2011 09:55

yep, thread about a thread... big deal.

so - thread started on mn. Another poster tweeted about said thread, came back to the thread and said she'd tweeted about it.

Subsequently posters called for her to be banned for tweeting about a sensitive thread, followed by lots of other nasty name-calling.

Thing is, the thread was public anyway. You don't have to be logged into mn to view it. You don't have to have a button next to each post to tweet about it - all you'd have to do is copy/paste the link into twitter. Once you put your private business on a public website you lose control over what happens to it/who talks about it/tweets about it/potentially writes about it in the press.

To suggest that a poster should be banned for talking about a thread that is on a public website, on another public website is ridiculous.

Mn has hundreds of thousands of hits a day. People are very naive if they think that their private, sensitive business is limited to the few people that post on the threads in question.

And people do discuss mn on twitter. Both in terms of threads/the potential genuineness of posters/the outcomes of threads. It's just that they don't come back on to mn to talk about having done so.

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:11

I don't know yours either SS
at last the penny drops!

loving the porn mates dittany! am I really?

DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:12

and of course he hasn't plastered it all over the internet

you have

Eleison · 21/02/2011 21:12

Regardless of the rights/wrongs of this controversy, I have to say that for women to react to other women's discomfort about porn by using the expression 'sewn/sealed up vagina brigade' is easily one of the most offensive, stupid, hateful thing I have ever read on MN.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 21/02/2011 21:13

well I suppose we could also wonder how many people haven't posted on this thread, maybe aren't even registered and have posted it on their FB.

I occasinaly have a search for "mumsnets" - posts by everyone and I'm pretty sure (with some of the comments about the threads) that they're not MNers......

FWIW - I haven't, and unless I missed it while cooking dinner neitehr have any of the 70 or so MNers I have on my FB.

(It might have been discussed in status updates, but I cba to scroll back through all of those)

Had a google search for "latest" posts about MN - and there is someone an hour ago saying (on twitter) they were thinking of coming on MN and arguing with someone - oooor errr.......

caffelatte · 21/02/2011 21:14

Does this mean I have to surrender my deep dislike of Twitter? By the way I think this is a stupendously good spat, very informative and a really good way to find out who has what as an agenda!

Stupiditysquared · 21/02/2011 21:16

Um, okay. The issue isn't here about privacy. The thread was public anyway. The issue for me is that it was tweeted (when anyone with an ounce of decency wouldn't have tweeted it) in really quite revolting terms.

And do you understand that people were actually helping me? There was advice on there that was really sustaining. Which somehow got derailed by some twat tweeting about sealed up vaginas.

You may shrug your shoulders. But I think, after what has happened here, there will be many MNers who will not share, or will not give help in a way that was truly caring and life-enhancing. And you are complicit in that.

DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:17

it wasn't me baroque I've been tweeting about rubbish mostly

I'm not on here to argue, I think it's a storm in a tea cup

a poster changes their name to ask for opinions about a subject on the internet
someone tweets it
poster gets upset about privacy
after posting on the internet
we don't know who she is
or her husband who would surely DIE of embarrassment if he knew all this was going on about him having a wank
poster regrets posting and blames everyone else

that's what I can see

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 21/02/2011 21:19

I'm not actually on Twtter - I like posting inane updates about my life.........but not so much to join a website dedicated to just that - I like my games too much Grin

SueWhite · 21/02/2011 21:20

I really don't understand the point of Twitter, actually.

sprogger · 21/02/2011 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:22

I have no agenda either, just can't see what all the fuss is about
plenty of troll hunters come on here and derail a thread

happens all the time

I don't think for one minute that the fabric of MN will collapse over it, lots of good advice and support out there

perhaps the best bit of advice to you is not to post personal stuff if you don't want it all over the net

scottishmummy · 21/02/2011 21:22

yes,folk need to be bitty savvy & circumspect. as mn is visible and we know media lift stories,from the redundant after mat leave to the recent respite

however,i think the informality and mileu does create a veneer of pals together - which isn't the case

but i can appreciate it could cause hurt/indignation if post ends up going viral

Maryz · 21/02/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SueWhite · 21/02/2011 21:25

It is a bit 'Look at meeeee!' I definitely judged Sarah Brown for using it. Really not interested in what she thinks just because she was married to someone important.

caffelatte · 21/02/2011 21:25

Well Maryz it doesn't make a whole load of sense to me either but the last thing I'm going to do is dismiss it's users as 'bitches'. Do you not think that just a tad simplistic and ill informed?

DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:25

sprogger I have no idea what you're talking about really

I'm not saying that people SHOULD tweet everything am I. I'm saying that it's naive to think your posts are not public and be shocked that it's not.

I didn't tweet the thread
I've tweeted other threads though
that's what the button is for

Stupiditysquared · 21/02/2011 21:27

Yes well Dolly, pity you didn't realise that there is NO BUTTON on the relationships thread.

Which is why I think there should be a more explicit request from MN on top of those threads. Just for people who can't understand coded messages.

MmeLindt · 21/02/2011 21:28

I don't think that Aloiseg was wrong to tweet about the thread.

However, her language used (and the trolling accusation) was unkind to the OP.

If you are going to tweet about a thread, then you should have the decency not to malign the OP - as she can easily search and find the comment you made.

For that she should apologise.

scottishmummy · 21/02/2011 21:29

T and FB links mn obviously have business associations as mn software supports sharing to other sites

DollyTwat · 21/02/2011 21:29

I didn't retweet your thread SS
I've already said that

you may want to blame me, but you can't I'm afraid

MmeLindt · 21/02/2011 21:30

Twitter is not all about meeeeeee - or it is not for me.

Perhaps 5% of my Twitter time is about me, the rest is information gathering, looking at blogs that twitter friends post, chatting about loft conversions etc.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 21/02/2011 21:32

"Yes well Dolly, pity you didn't realise that there is NO BUTTON on the relationships thread."

LONG before the FB/Twttier buttons appeared I saw (and posted myself) threads on FB. When I do share threads on my FB - I don't use the button anyhow - I just C&P, You could remove all the buttons, and put a "please don't share these threads even though every tom dick and harry around the web does" and it would still happen.

FWIW - I know that on the 2 currently running threads (that I've seen) about this issue at least one poster that have lied by saying they've never seen threads linked, or "back-up" called for

scottishmummy · 21/02/2011 21:33

but mn is a big swim in lake mememe and yikety yak

about folk detritus about

mil
he said/i said
mooncups

Eleison · 21/02/2011 21:33

Twitter does seeem quite meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (to meee), because unlike MN it isn't organised around subjects of discussion; it is organised around people. Users have their own me-zone, they collect followers, etc. It makes conversation fractured and real dscussion impossible. And I've even seem users explicitly asking for more followers so they can carry around a bigger number. It is a bit cringey.

BitOfFun · 21/02/2011 21:34

Most of what I saw on Twitter last night (and it moves fast, so you miss lots) was about Libya. I know it won't lessen you feeling pissed off much, SS, but I really don't think that many people will have taken much notice of the link to the thread. Most of the MNers I see on twitter are on the less vapid end of the scale, and I doubt it got retweeted. If that's any consolation.