Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to get this teacher fired

690 replies

lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:08

My dd attends a language class on saturday mornings in central london. This week due to horrible traffic we were 30 minutes late to collect her. We tried texting her teacher to say we were stuck in traffic but never got a reply. Anyway to make a long story short - she left my dd outside the school, alone with another boy, whilst she went out to go buy lunch. To make matters worse she told her to lie to us and say she was in the room next door if we asked where the teacher was when we collected our dd.

Our daughter was really upset and cried whilst being outside alone with this boy. My dh noticed she had been crying but the teacher just dismissed it, saying to dh she cried because he was late.

Obviously the bond of trust is broken and she wont be going back ever again. My question is what else should we do?

OP posts:
EightiesChick · 19/02/2011 23:34

Don't get this short walk away thing. My DH would have parked up and jogged round rather than leave our DC waiting. Plus if the kids were waiting outside, then being told to say the teacher was 'in the room next door' makes no sense. Not sure you have got the correct story from your DD.

I think the best you can do is speak to the teacher and apologise for being late but ask if she can make sure your DD is left with another adult if the teacher needs to leave the building in future. That's not unreasonable. Pushing for firing is.

doubleease · 19/02/2011 23:34

No matter what you drip feed into the thread YA still BU.

backwardpossom · 19/02/2011 23:35

How long was the lesson? At age 8, I'd suspect not long at all. Would it have been such a hardship for you to stay around while she was in the lesson? It probably took you longer to get away and back than the lesson lasted.

CoffeeDodger · 19/02/2011 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:36

You cannot park when you are stuck in the middle of 3/4 lane traffic !!

I bloody well wish i could have walked there. Never in a million years did i think she would leave my daughter out on the street unsupervised.

Its a free language school, 2 hours a week, for nationals of a certain country.

Is no one else bothered by her telling my dd to lie to us?

OP posts:
Violethill · 19/02/2011 23:37

"Is no one else bothered by her telling my dd to lie to us?"

We're more bothered by the fact that you don't take parental responsibility for your child.

NoTeaForMe · 19/02/2011 23:37

I'm shocked that people seem to be saying that it's ok for the teacher to leave a 7 year old on their own on the street. I know the parents were late and this probably could have been avoided, traffic jams really aren't that uncommon in London, on any day of the week let alone on saturday. if you knew you were going to be late you should have called not text, or even asked a friend?

However, as a teacher surely it is her reaponsiblity to hand the child over to someone picking them up. This may mean waiting and missing lunch but I'm afraid that's just sometimes what happens. It does not make it ok to leave a 7 and 8 year old on their own. I have missed lunch on many occasion as I've been phoning a parent, sitting with a sick child, etc etc Or even been late going home at the end of a long day as parents are late these things just happen.

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 19/02/2011 23:39

Is it run by a charity then? Do you know if she is actually a qualified teacher, or just a native speaker of the language? This all has a bearing on her liability, I believe.

You say language school, were there other staff on site?

Did she actually tell her to lie, or could she be confused?

How long was she gone for?

What had you arranged for emergencies?

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:39

And no she doesn't have a dd, she's unmarried and quite young. She had another class to teach at 2 in the same primary school, which i believe is hired out on saturdays solely for the purpose of this language class.

OP posts:
curlymama · 19/02/2011 23:41

What if she's diabetic or had some other medical condition and needed to get lunch?

Her responsibility to herself and her own health and her own family is greater than her responsiblity to a child whose parents have failed to pick her up on time.

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 19/02/2011 23:41

Sounds to me like she's not actually a teacher, therefore under no obligation to babysit your child in emergency.

Morloth · 19/02/2011 23:41

She shouldn't have left them on the street but this situation is your and your DH's fault. In London on a Saturday the traffic is bad, why did you both drive away if the class is only 2 hours?

Don't be late, and if you are don't rely on text messages to communicate about your kid, that is just dumb.

BecauseImWorthIt · 19/02/2011 23:41

You still haven't said why you drove off somewhere.

And why on earth is it relevant to tell us it's for nationals of a certain country? Confused

The fact remains, you were very, very late to collect your child. The teacher is under no obligation to look after your child after the end of the lesson - I doubt very much that a weekend language school means that they are 'in loco parentis'. And your daughter was with another child, and it was broad daylight.

The issue of 'lying' to you is neither here nor there. It is your fault that you were not there in time. I don't believe you couldn't have found somewhere to park up and get to her if you were only 2 minutes away.

fivegomadindorset · 19/02/2011 23:41

So you have never had traffic like this to be honest.

No need to fire teacher because of traffic.

Violethill · 19/02/2011 23:41

NoTeaForMe - no doubt all teachers of young children have given over their own lunchtimes, or hung around longer than they'd like to, supervising children who haven't been picked up.

But the OP is saying she wants the teacher fired which is quite a different issue. She has not done anything wrong. For all we know, she could have hung around for 20 minutes, and then thought, oh help, I've got more classes to teach soon, I need to grab something to eat. Perhaps she's diabetic and needs to eat. Perhaps she's pregnant and needs to eat. Perhaps she had other responsibilities she needed to fulfil.

The bottom line is: the tutor did nothing wrong, and the parents did.

StayFrosty · 19/02/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 19/02/2011 23:42

Did this traffic jam appear suddenly? Surely the journey there would have shown you that you needed to allow extra time for the return trip.

By all means tell the school that you are unhappy that your child was left in the street but (as has now been said many times) you need to face up to the fact that the reason she was left in the street was because you were very late.

threefeethighandrising · 19/02/2011 23:42

YANBU. I would be livid.

Assuming you're not always late, then for a one of

"what would you have liked her to have done instead?

a) read and reply to texts during teaching time?

b) miss her lunch?"

Actually yes, I think a teacher should miss her lunch rather than leave an 8 year old unattended!

I've worked in schools / as a CM and I'd never leave an 8 yo unattended in the street.

OP I certainly don't think YABU, and that's without the lying even.

You just don't ask a child to lie to their parents. That's outrageous.

JaneS · 19/02/2011 23:42

Agree with loopy, it matters if she's not a qualified teacher.

I wonder if, not having got your texts, she simply assumed you must be along in a minute or two? Not that that is great I suppose, but understandable if she just didn't think very hard.

Hope you don't mind me asking, but are you sure your DD isn't giving you a garbled version by mistake? If she was outside, maybe the teacher really was near enough to keep an eye from inside? And you seem to be saying the teacher was there by the time you arrived, so she can't have gone far.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:42

Don't take parental responsibility for my child? Are you for real?

We have left emergency contact details with this teacher. In hindsight i wish i had called her, but never did i dream she would leave my child alone on the streets.

OP posts:
JaneS · 19/02/2011 23:43

I do think telling your DD to lie is very much not on, especially if it was obvious enough your DD knew she was lying. Very uncomfortable with that.

Violethill · 19/02/2011 23:45

So the tutor was out to lunch, but also managed to be there to speak to your DH to 'dismiss' your child's tears? Hmm

If the tutor was there by the time you got there, how do you know she did actually leave the premises? Perhaps she put the two uncollected children outside and was in another room, getting some lunch?

threefeethighandrising · 19/02/2011 23:45

Oops half of my sentence got lost!

I meant to say ...

Assuming you're not always late, then for a one off she should at least ring you to find out how long you'll be before leaving her unattended.

fivegomadindorset · 19/02/2011 23:45

If I was going to be late to pick up my child the first person I would call is the teacher. You were being irresponsible for not doing that and balming everything, teacher, traffic except yourselves.

It works both ways honey.

BecauseImWorthIt · 19/02/2011 23:46

When your child is at school during the week, i.e. schooling provided by the state, the teachers are 'in loco parentis'. But if it's a private arrangement at the weekend, that is very unlikely to apply.

What do you mean by 'in hindsight I wish I had called her'? Do you mean that you could have contacted her and you didn't? If this is the case then this is even worse!