to suspect I'm being an knob when it comes to parenting

[Susiewho]

Inspired by the funny, cringeworthy parenting in the library thread, I'd like to know if I'm being a knob!

Apparently one of the tell-tale signs of being an obnoxious 'uber mum' is involving DCs in too many activities. But how many is too many?

DD (2 years, 8 months) goes to a couple of toddler groups, football class, swimming class, gym session, two music sessions and storytime at the library (which turns into a whole afternoon), every week. I was thinking of booking a dancing class too.

Is this too much? If so, why is it? Honestly, I'm not sure. She enjoys all of them and looks forward to each class.

I'm absolutely not a gushing, proud parent. I'm not one for talking loudly in public at all, but...am I one of those mums??

I would love to be able to afford all these clubs :(

I'm not starting DD on any until she's at school. ATM she's running around at nursery all the time, and can do whatever she wants. I figured once at school her time will be more structured/restricted (eg she can't ride the bikes all day etc) so then she might like an extra-curricular thing.

Bogeyface you would like "The idle parent" by Tom Hodgkins which is a book advocating benign neglect of kids in a light hearted way. It validates parents like me who like chilling out out home with the kids, and sometimes feel lazy compared to others who are busier. No problem with people who do lots of activities, it just doesn't suit our pace of life.

I don't think it's too much, OP. Children of this age who go to nursery full time will do all of this (maybe not the swimming, but some nurseries do) over a week , and more.

Asinine, that sounds like my kind of book,thank you!

I too have no problem with activity heavy lives, aslong as it doesnt take over as I suspect it may be doing with the OP. Our life does mean that most of my sheets and fleece blankets have seen better days though, and I am sure our sofas would last longer without their games too :o

Oh God - why do you care what other people think? You're happy, your DD is happy, just get on with it.

If your DD is walking into pillars with exhaustion or begging not to have to go then stop it. But if she's enjoying herself and it works for you, then on you go.

When DD was a tiny baby, we had an activity every day, Monday to Friday. I've heard people sneer about that too but it was what I needed to get out of the house and have adult conversation every day. Now I'm more acclimatised to Mummyhood (and back at work p-t) I don't worry so much. But everyone's different.

What purepurple says, really. But then the people who judge you for doing activities, are probably also firmly in the anti-childcare camp.

I do 30 hours of stuff like that a week with mine through nursery (i work there). I dont think its too much as she can do lots of things, certainly doesnt lack confidence (takes after her mother lol) and loves it.

My life is packed full of things so I dont see anything wrong with why hers shouldnt be.

Wouldn't it be easier to send her to nursery where she'd do all those things and become independent at the same time?

I know what you mean, stoatsrevenge, but I don't think it would be easier for me as I like to do things with DD and enjoy watching her have fun, making friends and being in different environments. I'm not sure how swimming would work out with a nursery group, as the DCs need someone to hold them at this age. I suspect that being in nursery would be more expensive than it costs for me to take her. I can also make sure that she's only doing things that she likes to do, not what the nursery chooses to do with the group.

Not knocking nurseries at all. I think they're great for building a child's confidence. It's just not for me. Anyway DD'll be away for the best part of the day in school soon enough - too soon for my liking! :)

Thanks again everyone for all of your comments. We had a being at home with toys day today. Phew!

That is to much for a 2 year old.

Why is it, mumeeee? Because not enough time at home?

Could you put aside a "session" a week where you deliberately leave her to it?

Give her a load of stuff (boxes, bits of fabric, blankets, etc) and ask her what game she can play with them and then you can talk about it later?

I reckon its a bit too much too. But I love unstructured time for my kids. They have time limits and clubs etc thrust upon them at school age, pre-school is all about us! park, picnics, winter walks, making clay monsters, building dens, or just letting them play and use their imagination.

I am maybe a selfish parent in that regard though, my son has a swimming lesson once a week, nursery(free place has he is 4) every afternoon, but at 2 we just played. DD is almost 2 and I just want to keep her all for me!...she loves baking, and tents and boxes!

Thanks for your replies. The thing is that we do all of those things - imaginary play etc. We have, what she calls her "Doodle drawers", which are full of fabric and bits and pieces, which she loves playing with.

Also, I'm with her during all of these activities. None involves me leaving her. It's me she runs to when she (thinks!) she's scored a goal; and I dance with her at the music sessions, for example.

The only thing mentioned that we don't really do is baking together. Although we do make ice creams in playdoh - not quite the same, is it?!

Sorry, I just realised that I am knob! I asked if you think I'm being daft, which you've kindly answered, and now I'm being defensive.

Thanks again, everyone, for your replies. :)