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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect, at 30 years old, my privacy to be respected.

68 replies

QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 10:05

Please tell me if IABU and an ungrateful caaah.

My Mil looked after my dc yesterday while I was at work. (DH away.)
She was very kind to do so, I know, but while I was out she took it upon her self to clean my house, including my bedroom!

I feel sick knowing she's been in and seen the, ahem, itemsBlush etc in the bin.

I really feel as a grown woman I should be able to have my own space.

She had pulled up some of my plants too.

To top it off, her friend/cleaner, who she had bought in to help made a bitchy comment about me using polish more often.Angry

OP posts:
brokeoven · 17/02/2011 10:09

Maybe that is going too far with the bedroom, i wouldnt like that.

BUT

My mil looks at me like i have asked her to pay my mortgage for a year if i ask her to watch ds for an hour, which i did once last year. Sad

so suck it up cupcake, i wish i had some one to help me even just occasionally.

ps could she have your kids at her house next time do you think?

Sarsaparilllla · 17/02/2011 10:11

Maybe the bedroom was a bit far but I think she was just trying to be helpful, even if it came out a bit wrong

RealityIsKnockedUp · 17/02/2011 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 10:14

Ach, I thought that might be the case.

Grin at "suck it up, cupcake"!

I just think she crossed a line.
There was a sex toy in the bin ffs!

OP posts:
Maryz · 17/02/2011 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alicet · 17/02/2011 10:15

I expect that she just did this to try and help and really didn't think you'd mind. I think I'd thank her profusely but then ask her to avoid certain things (such as your bedroom / gardening) if she were to do this again. Tbh if she was looking after your dc as well as cleaning the house from top to bottom its hardly likely she was rooting through your bin and noting what was in there?

As far as her friend goes I'd totally ignore her comments - none of her business and none of your concern as presumably she isn't someone whose opinions particularly matter to you?

alicet · 17/02/2011 10:16

pmsl at sex toy in the bin! Grin

squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 10:18

Going into the bedroom is an invasion of privacy.

Its nothing to do with her what is in the bin, so dont worry what she thinks.

Otherwise though, it was nice of her to help out, just next time, say breezily "sorry about the mess, please please dont feel you have to tidy it, but whatever you do, dont go in our bedroom, its a bombsite"...

brokeoven · 17/02/2011 10:19

NNNOOOOO there WAS NOT a sex toy in the bin..OP never said that, although i did wonder what could be lurking in that bin....

OMG your mil fished your sex toy out of the bin!!!

Are you dying a thousand deaths...i am FOR YOU!!!!!!

alicet · 17/02/2011 10:20

op said it in a later post brokeoven

squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 10:20

and admit it, you got a cock ring from the poundshop didnt ya....

did it work? or is that why its in the bin?

and why arent they on sale in my local poundshops... me and my MIL went in search of them last week Grin

I aint kidding either.. I have a totally batty MIL who comes in Ann Summers with me and finds it quite hilarious. She says she is happy knowing that me and her son are happy.. she doesnt give a monkeys what we do and isnt in the least prudish about it.

brokeoven · 17/02/2011 10:23

You can get cock rings from the poundshop!!!!

Fuck me, ive never seen them!
OMG i LOVE how this thread has twisted! Grin

Original poster
QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 10:25

Yes it was a cock ring!Grin

OP posts:
Gillybobs · 17/02/2011 10:27

I once came home from a holiday to find my Mum had put new bedding on my bed and changed the light fitting for a new one Hmm

Another time I came in to discover she had organised my underwear drawer....

However....she looked after my 2 DSs 3 days a week when they were babies and now they are at school she collects them 3 afternoons. She always has the ironing board out and the dinner on when I come home from work those 3 afternoons.

So whilst I feel these incidents were completely out of order I dont feel like upsetting her as she has been an enormous help.

squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 10:28

well apparently you can get them in the pound shop.. but I have searched half of surrey now and not found them..

and no way on earth am I bloody asking an assistant!!! lol!!!

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 17/02/2011 10:29

She won't have a clue what it is.

BaadRobot · 17/02/2011 10:31

Fucking hell I would absolutely DIE if anyone other than my DH and DD went in my bedroom!!!! Shock and I don't even have any sex toys!!Blush

YANBU.

sloggies · 17/02/2011 10:32

Bedroom was out of order IMHO, as was having a friend round to help her clean. Passing her comments on maybe a bit passive aggressive too. But regards the sex toy, depending on how worldy she is, she may well not have known what it was, or as another poster has said, not looked in your bin anyhow.

FabbyChic · 17/02/2011 10:34

Ouch, tell her your bedroom is off bounds.

Re the polish I dust I never use polish it puts a film on your furniture it does not actually clean it.

Original poster
QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 11:03

The bin had been emptied.Blush
The box was in there too which had COCK RING emblazoned on it.

I don't even mind that as much as the fact she went in w/o asking.

I know she's essentially lovely and kind.

Her friend made the polish comment, but also said lots of other foot-in-mouth type things. It did make me cry though. I'd have more time to bloody clean if I wasn't looking after 3 sick dc on my own + working.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldhorsewoman · 17/02/2011 11:06

My MIL barely lifts a finger when she comes to stay - she's one of those who hears the clattering of dishes in the kitchen (knowing dinner is ready) and walks in saying 'Is there anything I can do?'
She has no qualms about going into my bedroom and helping herself to the hairdryer/hand cream/shampoo etc and will cheerfully walk in when I am in bed.
Not as bad as when she walked in on BIL in the bath (he's 42!) to give him the telephone. When he protested, she said 'Oh it's nothing I haven't seen before'!
Boundaries are an alien concept.

femalevictormeldrew · 17/02/2011 11:12

I think if she emptied your bin which had a cock ring in it (and in case she didn't know what it was the box with the words "CODK RING" on it, she won't be venturing back into room for a while again. Probably never for fear of what she might find!

YANBU by the way, I would die if my MIL cleaned my bedroom.

JaxTellersOldLady · 17/02/2011 11:12

My MIL would never do this, but my own mother would... although not my bedroom.

I am a bit Shock that she did your bedroom, even MY Mum wouldnt do that. But when she used to come and stay with us she would clean and faff around the house all day, because she knew I had 2 young children and dogs and housework wasnt my top priority.

Dont let it upset you, she was only trying to help. Would be a bit pissed off about her friend coming to help though.

CatHerder · 17/02/2011 11:16

Is there a possibilty that she is way more embarassed than you are, and won't be going near your bedroom ever again?

Original poster
QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 11:16

That's it, Jax, my mum is a slattern extrodinaire and has not set foot in my bedroom since I was 10. I've always been quite private.

(Except on here.Grin)

OP posts: