Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect, at 30 years old, my privacy to be respected.

68 replies

QueeferFuckerland · 17/02/2011 10:05

Please tell me if IABU and an ungrateful caaah.

My Mil looked after my dc yesterday while I was at work. (DH away.)
She was very kind to do so, I know, but while I was out she took it upon her self to clean my house, including my bedroom!

I feel sick knowing she's been in and seen the, ahem, itemsBlush etc in the bin.

I really feel as a grown woman I should be able to have my own space.

She had pulled up some of my plants too.

To top it off, her friend/cleaner, who she had bought in to help made a bitchy comment about me using polish more often.Angry

OP posts:
Doyouthinktheysaurus · 18/02/2011 16:05

My mum cleans given half the chance...I hate it!

Thankfully she lives 100 miles away so doesn't get the chance very often.

My dsis and dbil have just gone on their honeymoon...my mum has cleaned their flat from top to bottom, cleaned their cars, done all their washing and ironing, changed their sheets...I shudder to think what she would find if she went through their bedside table, being newly weds and allWink

solooovely · 18/02/2011 16:35

I shudder to think what she would find if she went through their bedside table, being newly weds and al - eeeeeeekkkkk!!!

pommedeterre · 18/02/2011 17:09

I thought my MIL was invading my privacy when she took DH's shirts from clothes horse in utility and hung them in our joint wardrobe.
Made me wonder what else she had a little sneak at.
If she'd cleaned our bedroom I would be livid and would get DH to have a word unless he wanted me to let rip at her.
I hate, hate, hate people doing stuff around my house without asking. I find it extremely rude.

Original poster
QueeferFuckerland · 18/02/2011 21:58

Me too, pomme.

I feel like I'm being judged, (plus she does it all wrong.Wink)

DH says he's going to have a word, but I think he'll bottle it tbh.

OP posts:
MamaVoo · 18/02/2011 22:15

YANBU. It's bloody annoying.

My MIL recently emptied out my handbag so she could clean it Hmm. My dirty washing is never safe, she'll retrieve it from my bedroom and do it, which may seem helpful but I hate her going through my knickers. Recently when I was away for a few days and she was helping out, she asked DH if she should sort out everything in my wardrobe Shock. Fortunately he had a word with her then.

parakeet · 18/02/2011 22:25

She emptied out your HANDBAG??? Now that is just plain nosey.

I thought my MIL was bad, because she once made our bed for us when we were staying at their house. I mean, there could have been stains...

threefeethighandrising · 18/02/2011 22:33

Definitely crossing a line! My MIL is like this - there are no boundaries with her.

However she is very helpful so I try (hard!) not to let it bother me (although it really does!)

My mum the other hand is very respectful of my privacy and boundaries, which I appreciate, but she's not very hands-on helpful, and I wish she was more so.

You can't win!

FudgeGirl · 19/02/2011 01:34

I'd think your DH would be more embarrassed that his mother has fished something that's been round his cock out of the bin!!!

Sounds like your MIL was trying to help, she probably never even noticed - and if she did, she'll probably be wondering more why her son is wearing a cock ring (if she even knew what it was!) rather than wondering how your needs/wants/enjoyment came into it anyway!

UntitledNo2 · 19/02/2011 04:06

Hehehe... My Nan used to clean my Mum and Dad's house. She used to do it voluntarily, btw, then my Mum started paying her.

I remember her ironing a teeny tiny scrap of a red lace thong. We convinced her it was my Dad's. She honestly believed, for about 10 years, that my Dad wore lacy thongs Grin

See Queefer, it could be worse!!! Wink

MadamDeathstare · 19/02/2011 06:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justcarrots29 · 19/02/2011 07:04

YANBU - I always think that someone should not clean another person's house unless they have asked them to help etc.

I once found my dad going through my bathroom cabinet looking for something to 'fix' my light fitting that just snapped. There were condoms, caneston and alka seltzer in it Blush. NEVER go through another person's bathroom cabinet!!

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2011 07:34

I would hate this too, but always thought the general consensus on MN is if someone wants to clean your house let them - glad to see that has changed!
Why is alka seltzer Blush?

Sparkletastic · 19/02/2011 07:58

MIL used to be guilty of this - doing all the washing and telling me that you would never find any dirty laundry in her house as it goes straight in the machine then drier then is ironed and put away etc. Made me fume as the subtext was clearly that I am an inferior housekeeper but I put up with it as the woman has no friends or hobbies and FIL gets on her nerves so she cleans to define herself. THEN she once came round to look after DD1 for the day and when I got home from work proudly told me how she had spent hours cleaning the conservatory windows (it was just about to be knocked down but she had forgotten that). I asked what she and DD1 had had for lunch and she blushed furiously and explained she had forgotten to give DD lunch as she was too busy cleaning. It was 5pm and DD one was limply watching CBeebies and had been doing so for hours. She never indulged in unwanted cleaning again.....

Cyclebump · 19/02/2011 08:14

I agree with Cat, she was probably way more embarrassed than you are if she realized what it was.

Gosh, my MIL is so chilled out I feel rather spoiled. Bedroom is way off limits IMO.

Maud2011 · 19/02/2011 08:56

YANBU. She may be a kind person but I do think cleaning the whole house, especially bringing in a "friend" to help, was over-stepping a boundary. Slightly insulting too, even if not intentionally. Did she pass on the comment by her "friend" or did the friend make it directly to you?

Maybe the cock ring box (if it was that conspicuous) will make her think twice in future :)

Friend of mine once let her (lovely but slightly buttoned up and old fashioned) mum make her bed while she (friend) was recovering from an op - forgetting she'd left her vibrator all tangled up in the sheets Blush.

Shelly32 · 19/02/2011 12:42

YANBU. My MIL also does this and i hate it. It feels like they think you don't do it well enough for their DS. Plus she 'tidied' the babies clothes cupboard and took it upon herself to bag up things she thought were too small (none of it when i wen through it!). I may be mad but it's almost like a power thing in my opinion, like she's made her stamp on our home and kids!! It does sound ungrateful but i think there is usually an agenda there..i may be wrong.

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 12:49

ooh glad I saw this thread at the top again..

saw these offending items in the poundshop this week... (for anyone interested they are in the section along with condoms and pregnancy tests etc.. and they dont actually say "cock ring" on them... lol!!)

obviously I pulled my cats bum face and marched straight out of the shop

only after I bought 5 of them

justcarrots29 · 19/02/2011 20:48

STEALTH POLAR BEAR - nothing wrong with alka - seltzer Smile I was just listing what was in the cabinet.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page