whilst at the same time my lodger was having a romantic meal in the kitchen. 
I couldn't resist. I was bored, I have a bad cold for the 6th time this winter. It was funny. Although I was of course sympathetic to the labouring screaming women.
For the record my lodger hasn't done any cleaning in 6 months and won't no matter what I say so I needed to take my revenge.
I don't think it put them off though. Damn.