To avoid asking for advice of mumsnet because all you get in response is a flaming??

[angelicapickles]

A poster asked for weaning advice, and rather than answering her question she mostly got replies telling her not to wean.

Someone asks a question about formula feeding, they get jumped on about why they're no breastfeeding.

A c-section - why not vbac or a natural birth!

These days when I have a question, I keep it to myself!

I weaned at 4 months and still feel fine about that (showing my age). But if I posted about it in AIBU, then it would be a deliberate challenge to the other posters: "come on, tell me I'm right- prove that I'm wrong!". If I simply wanted to discuss how to feed a baby I would post in a different part of the forum.

mrssparkle It might not be for any poster to decide what is best but it does seem very unfair to criticise posters for making clear what current advice is.

Some people are just not aware of the current advice/research. Not everyone can know everything and I am often surprised at the new info I learn and also that somethings that I thought to be widely known others are ignorant too.

That aside if you post in AIBU then you kind of get what you deserve

I've re-read the thread in question and still can't see any flaming.

Yes, there are different viewpoints stated but it's non-confrontational and pretty anodyne overall, esp. for AIBU.

I'm rather baffled as to how someone who perceives these kind of responses as attacks manages to function in normal, everyday life...

Agree with everyone saying she may have had a different response if posted in weaning.

This is my issue with AIBU. Everyone posts everything in it. No matter what the thread subject matter.

No doubt I'll now get the 'it's up to people where they post' remarks. It is. Absolutely.

As others have already said however, don't expect the same response you would receive on the more appropriate boards.

Fabbychic who are you calling assholes?

The OP or the woman who was weaning her baby?

Because that is very very friendly, and pretty much proves the OP right if you agree with them or not!

If you want advice about weaning, there is a weaning topic.

If you post in AIBU people are liable to tell you that you are being unreasonable.

"Don't do it" is a piece of advice, too.

TrillianAstra I posted in the weaning topic as well but at the time had just one reply and just wanted some advice, my DD has struggled with feeding since she was born and I thought posting in a high traffic area would get me a few more responses.

Which I was thankful for! I'm having a better feeding day...

I think responses in the specific talk section for birth/feeding are going to be(or should be) 100% supportive and helpful

the thread in question was posted in AIBU, not feeding advice so it's horses for courses and people are allowed opinions, even if that opinion is you shouldn't be weaning

As an aside I thought that I saw an item on TV (and in the press) a few weeks back that they are returning to the idea that weaning at 4 months is okay for many babies ie be led by your baby!

Since AIBU was introduced the other boards don't get the same responses. Folk click on active convos and get caught in the 100 AIBU's that are running that are listed first.

In that respect I do feel for the weaning thread OP. It's hard when you post on the appropriate boards and often don't get much response. If any.

Can you tell AIBU and I have issues?

eh? That thread (in AIBU) says "aibu To just ask you all to tell me what to do?"

and several people have posted 'wait'.

Why's that a problem?

anythingwithagiraffeonit

Do you think anyone was particularly mean to you on your thread? (Without naming names)

Trinaluce - you posted that your child was "abusing" the dog and that, although you tried you could not keep them apart. What advice were you expecting?

The more emotive the language you use, the more strident the responses you get. People can only judge the situation based on the language you use and the section of the site you post in.

If you don't want an argument, don't post in aibu. If you want posts saying "it will all be fine", don't use words like "abuse" in the title.

I have had some great advice on here but mostly about non parenting issues such as returning to work. I aliken internet forums to road rage. The fact you are in a car or hiding behind a computert means that some people will behave in a way or say things they would never normally do in a face to face situation. You also have the problem that its difficult to put across what you wish to say in the right way when its as anonymous as this. You miss all the normal gestures and acentuation of words which could alter a sentence from a harmless throw away comment in to WWW3 on MN. I suppose the answer is to be think skinned. In most threads where someone is asking for advice there is a percentage of people who are actually offering advice versus just flaming the OP. Whether you agree with that advice is a different matter.

KazBar - I don't think anyone was mean, but I do think that it is often the case that people who could just bypass a thread instead use it to preach thier own views about breastfeeding etc...

Maybe not preach, but definately push.

No one was mean to me, but I was advised to wean for a good reason, yet I still got posts telling me not to (when that isn't what I asked)

Just answering your question though! I'm happy... (backs away slowly) lol

I have been on MN for many many years and have never stopped asking for advice if I need it.

Thanks to the wonderful ladies on here, I have pulled my head out of my arse faced the world head on and got to the stage I finally got a diagnosis for my son.

Now I have had plenty of run ins with some ladies on here, I have been defensive, they have been tired of seeing the same kind of posts from me.

But I cannot ever thank them enough for perservering and making me see I didn't just have a naughty boy I actually have a wonderful son who has Aspergers.

Perhaps some people listen to HV's because they are trained professionals and their advice can be useful.

The arrogance of "I knew better than my HV therefore all HV's are shit" is quite astounding.

I think generally people need to talk to others on the internet as if they were having a chat in real life. If you wouldn't say it to someone in real life, then don't post it!

I didn't mean you in particular, more the quote in your post and others like it.

"got tuimbleweeded because how dare I wander over the threshold, quite upsetting tbh the level of cliquieness from some folk"

Pah. I've been here 4 years, reasonably well known, get on with most people, but quite often have started threads which get no replies. It's a big place, with hundreds of threads, and once it falls off active convs it's hard to find a new thread. It's hardly anything you can take personally.