to ask if you would use donated breastmilk if it was available rather than formula?

[bubbleymummy]

Inspired by another thread.

I personally would rather use donated milk. If you wouldn't - why not?

We had excellent advice and support from the hospital, I was overflowing with milk and was well informed on all matters to do with latching on and was very enthusiastic about breastfeeding. I stuck with bf at all costs, and so far from thriving dd ended up in hospital underweight to the point where her ribs were sticking out. Dd struggled to feed for the same reason that she is this morning- 14 years later- unable to walk or sit up. Because, quite regardless of anything I or the professionals could do, there was something wrong with her. But I'd be delighted if any enthusiast could come up with support and advice to cure her. Preferably before 9.30 when I have to get her down the stairs and into a taxi for her hospital appointment.

Yes, as long as it was a not-for-profit, well-organised (screening etc) set-up. I know several women who donate BM for no other reason than they want to help other mothers. WHO puts in order of preference for infant feeding:

1. Breastfeeding
2. Expressed breastmilk given to baby
3. Donated breastmilk
4. Formula milk.

Simples (for me)

Well missy, you might dismiss our thearys but actually, without cloneing our dc, then bf one and ff the other, you will never know if they would be healthier or not. All evidence points to an average person, well who do you determine as average?

I for instance, was ff. Yet without cloneing me and bf it, there is no way anyone could know if or not my health was exactly the same. It could be different if I were bf but there is no way of determining that for sure, just like you can't with anyone else without making two of them to experiment on.

It is all well and good doing tests on different people but to get accurate tests you need to test the same person by cloneing them to ensure the results are correct because of genetics. We all know we can't clone people so the tests are on average people.

So by saying my bf kids are healthier then your kids is not something anyone can say for sure. The research doesn't give anyone a guarantee to say that so I don't see why anyone would. For all you know, if I was bf, my health could be the same. But without my clone no one will ever know for sure.

On a more positive note - bubbley - this thread has been interesting reading. Of course it has provoked strong emotional reactions.

Just to clarify, i don't dispute bf as a choice nor do i reject the fact that it is better for your baby. No one is saying that formular is the healthier choice.

I do however, reject the fact that bf will determine a healthier life then ff. Your long term health choices determine your long term health, not bf. I reject the fact that someone could say a 40 year old ff person would be more or as healthy as bf person. There is no way of knowing for sure, like i said, without making two of exactly the same person.

It's the choices you make in life that make you healthy and i think it is more important to educate people on all factors of health rather then just focusing on one small factor, which, as research shows, is just an average anyway and not a guarantee to long term good health.

Smug people like missy who incorrectly say her children are more healthy then ff children are just proof that people get hold of things like this and don't take any other health factor into account. If a bf child was more healthy in the long term, the percentage of benefit over ff would be so small, it just wouldn't be worth getting smug over and then that is just on average, it is no guarentee that there would be a percentage of better health due to bf. There is no guarentee that missys children won't die of cancer at 40 anymore then there is mine.

Breathing - the milk bank nurse who interviews donor mothers in their homes checks for those factors too. They only accept suitable donors - the most important issue is that they are taking milk to be given to the most vulnerable babies to increase their chances of survival , so of course the milk bank nursing professionals do absolutely everything possible to ensure that donated milk is safe.

"I would absolutely have to be sure there was a rigorous screening system first, as i am not convinced there is at present."

"Its more complex for me. I would have to know the mother's diet, did she smoke, does she drink coffee, what stage is her milk?"

I'm confused? Obviously you wouldn't want bm that contained diseases etc but why would the mothers diet be an issue? I thought that people were saying bm was the best thing ever for a babys long term health so if why would someone consider rejecting someones (disease free) bm on the basis of her diet? Genuinly confused?

I have donated milk and there is a rigorous screening system. Also, they mix the milk so the baby doesn't get milk from just one donor.

No, I dont think I would Tbh.
Just the thought of it from another females breast and not my own. . . . .sorry but no. I would have to use formula.
All my children, (2 are grown up now) were all bf, but my own breast milk.
I can however see the benefits of breast milk versus formula and how wonderful it would be for a baby who needs good nourishment. . .but personally I couldnt give it to my own offspring.

Breathing, if you didn't know those things would you choose formula? Or would you still value any bm?

Jlc, definitely! Some really interesting points have been made.

Mrssparkle - I think you're contradicting yourself a bit. Why do you think bm is better if you think it doesn't make a difference?

maltesers - do you find it easier to cope with the thought of milk coming from a cow's udder? I'm not having a go - it just seems so entrenched in us that cow's milk is acceptable and normal when actually it is bm from a completely different species! :)

Yes, good point, ISWYM. . .valid point.. . .Hadnt thought about that. . .(too early in the morning!!)

LEts face it, on the same thought thread we eat animals flesh dont we ? (some of us do) . . . . . But we dont eat human flesh.

Look - everyone knows it's a bit better to breastfeed if it's not adversely affecting your physical or mental health to the point that it damages your relationship with your child. Some babies can't breastfeed - that's a fact. And whilst some would get the hang of it after a while, some would die. Some women can't produce enough milk.

What the formula feeders are saying is that in the scheme of things it really isn't the end of the world to formula feed. It's not that big a deal.

We could do with more of a culture of supporting breastfeeding - being honest about the difficulties and looking at ways to overcome them, rather than hammering home a didactic message that "breast is best". That said, there will still be a proportion of babies who will need to take bottles (either of formula or donated breastmilk) - these will be the babies who might have died in the past, or who would have gone to a wet nurse, or been fed watered down goats milk.

Making personal comments about the future health of babies who have been formula fed is entirely unacceptable however, and indicates to me that there is something very wrong with the poster. I suggest that we report all posts that aren't supportive of other mothers who are trying to do the best they can for their children in the way that's right for them.

'Making personal comments about the future health of babies who have been formula fed is entirely unacceptable however, and indicates to me that there is something very wrong with the poster. I suggest that we report all posts that aren't supportive of other mothers who are trying to do the best they can for their children in the way that's right for them.'

Well said schmee. I don't think there are many people who aren't trying to do the best for them and their children.

Well said schmee.

BF is best and I have BF before and I will hopefully do so again. However I've also FF when BF didn't work for me or my family. I think perhaps it is easier to fight huge battles and persevere with BF when you only have one baby to think of. When you can see that it's having a -ve impact on another child in your family then it's not so clear cut really.

I think the point that people are trying to make is not that they think FF is as good as BF but rather that it is just one factor of many that can influence the future health of your children. You can't say that a FF child is doomed to a life of ill health because that won't be the only factor that matters in their life. It's impossible to tell even by reception age which kids were FF and which BF. Even if you assessed the health of all the children you still wouldn't be able to tell.

There are benefits to BF, of course there are, but I do think people exaggerate them sometimes!

you would need to find women withvery good supplies, most women i know cant get one tenth out their breast as what their baby can-surely it wouldnt be time effective?

the idea of my baby having another womans bm makes me feel a bit sick, but if i couldnt feed id be delighted if a close friend bf my baby-so double standards.

id also be very happy to feed someone elses child nipple to mouth-providing my daughter wasnt aroind to see it

Yes I would definitely use donated milk. I donated for months after both my children were born, because I found expressing easy, and could easily boost my supply to have excess available. I spend a lot of time supporting women through breastfeeding problems (I'm a GP). I think if more women had the option of donated milk, they would use it, and would possibly take more seriously the message that breastmilk is so important for babies.

IWantAnotherBaby, what is your opinion of the advice from the Health Protection Agency regarding donated breast milk? and who are the people most at risk that they refer to, are they people who ate beef/beef products between 1980 - 1996, or have had blood transufusions to date, or had contact with dental or surgical instruments which have not been decontaminated to remove rogue prions, or born to parents who have gone onto die from vCJD/CJD or had vaccinations between 1980 - 2000 containing bovine serum? I read that the UK is a high risk nation for vCJD and many of us are walking around unaware they we may be asymptomatic carriers, surely if we donate our breast milk there is a risk of passing on vCJD via this route otherwise why the warning on the Health Protection agencys website?

This thread has really descended into mud slinging supported by the breast feeding mafia who think that because they breast fed their children for a long period of time, they are superior parents. Its nice that they believe this, let them, but I'm hiding this thread because I have a toddler whose development, happiness and nutrician I am focused on and all this shit about the first 6 months just has no bearing on that.

Likewise I am due a baby in 2 weeks. I hope to breastfeed but wont be going through what I went through with DD for 3 months. If it doesnt work reasonably well, I am straight on to formula and will have absolutely no concerns or guilt about it and those who demanise it can get lost

Ladies I have always said Breast is best(I've said it several times if you re-read the thread) as others are patiently trying to point out lots of other things are best for dc too .

If you read the stats if I let my dc have more than 2 hours screen time a day they'll be doomed to obesity-errr I don't think so if you factor in several other things.

If you read the stats boys don't do as well by attending nursery instead of being at home with mum-errr I don't think so if you factor in everything else.....and so it goes on.

Breast feeding is one of several aspects that contribute towards the well being of a child, it's an ideal,it's really not that difficult to understand. It's also blown completely out of proportion in a way no other parenting aspect is and it's very,very wrong.

You don't see threads with people interrogating posters on their parenting choices. Missy several things would be better for my dc -no TV at all for one thing,even more physical activity etc,etc.Do you do everything perfectly as a mum,shall I interrogate you???

Bubbles in answer to your continued obsession about why I didn't continue bf yes I did express however I had twins and expressing/feeding 2 babies means you remain permanently welded to the sofa which isn't actually possible when you're on your own with no other help and a household to run. Also my sanity and that of my babies were at risk. None of us enjoyed continual sobbing from mum due to the exhaustion,pain and general loathing of expressing/bf.

I had my dd 15 months after the twins then I had two tiny toddlers to care for so again waying up all the parenting aspects expressing didn't score high enough on my to do list,my toddlers wanted cuddles as did my baby and I also had to make sure all 3 were safe and feed them,change them,,,,,,,,

I gave up my body to 10 years of IVF,pg and bf. Finally I had enough-so shoot me

Any more questions re my parenting failures,I'm sure you've got a few I could grill you about?????

Carolina, I'm sorry you feel that way. Very few posters have been mud slinging but it seems that anytime some mentions facts about bf it offends someone who ff in some way and in most cases that wasn't the intention at all.

Also, as an earlier poster mentioned - exclusive bf is recommended for 6 months but then complimentary bf is recommended alongside food for 2 years or more. So in many cases bm is a big part of a child's diet for much longer than 6 months.

Milamae - this is what I mean. So much aggression and defensiveness over a simple question that had no intent to offend. I am not critcising you or your children or accusing you of failing as a parent. It is ridiculous that there can't be a civil discussion about whether or not people would be happy to use donated bm without it turning out like this! You are now saying that you think breast is best yet you argued last night over pages and pages about whether or not it made any difference! Of course bf are going to jump in and try to correct you - they aren't trying to condemn you for your decision - they are trying to stop the spread of misinformation. I will agree that some posts were more agressive than others in doing so but many were not and you still argued with them!

Yes it is ridiculous.Those of us that simply answered the question with a no have had our answers interrogated,belittled and laughed at.

"The spread of misinformation"-what that bf is an ideal as are several other factors in raising a child,that ff does not doom your child to a life of ill health,that giving your children a healthy diet and lifestyle will give you healthy children....I think you need to re-read your own thread. People are very patiently trying to explain the ff mother's point of view you continually ignore it.

Don't ask questions if you don't like the answers.