to ask if you would use donated breastmilk if it was available rather than formula?

[bubbleymummy]

Inspired by another thread.

I personally would rather use donated milk. If you wouldn't - why not?

Gwendoline, it is awful that you had that experience. None of that was your fault and it is exactly the reason that we need to get better support into hospitals so that people who want to bf, like yourself, are able to do so.

Whilst I would have found it emotionally difficult due to own issues with not being able to bf I would have used donated breast milk if screened etc.

No donations for me please.

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant, bad day . But it's experiences like that which are all too common that makes it so hard to have a rational debate about this subject. I wish it wasn't like that, I really do because I'm not adverse to bf in the slightest but you end up taking the opposite stance in order to defend yourself. It's crap.

I wouldnt

Gwendoline - I know exactly what you mean. Had v v similar experience, and got similarly upset up-thread, even though I feel very positive about BF. It surprised me, actually, because this was 10 years ago ...

I was skeptical about this from leonie
"There are stem cells in breastmilk fgs. you wont get that in a tin alongside the free Enterobacter sakazakii..."

but I looked it up and ITS TRUE!!!
They really have found stem cells in breast milk!

Some links;
the independant

random peer reviewed scientific research paper

Well spotted Leonie!

Jlc - was it you that said that donated bm would have alleviated some of that guilt because you knew your baby was still getting bm even if it wasn't your own? Gwendoline do you think that would have helped you too?

Yes bubbley - and I came to that view after reading this thread, so that's a result! I'm still not convinced that the guilt was well-placed though - it went along with several other things "going wrong" (EMCS).

I know hhl - they are currently working on a way to extract them iirc - much less controversial method of obtaining stem cells! :)

Also, bubbley - there's a lot of talk about bonding, and of course I don't know because I didn't do it, but to me FF has some nice side-effects in terms of other people being able to feed the baby and bond with it from very early on. I appreciate that you can express milk, but I'm not sure how many mothers bother with tis early on.

Yes I think it would. I hated every feed I made up until she moved onto cows' milk at a year. Even when considering dc2 I debated whether to try again or if it was wrong (assuming I could bf) to give one child the advantage. It's crazy how much emotion is tied up in something so basic.

Sorry - that was really badly worded - I meant I can't compare with bf because I didn't do it.

Gwendoline - did you BF the second?

I chose not to, in the end. I started but then had to have a blood transfusion. Gave up (I suppose I could have persisted but if I'm honest had no motivation to bf then because I honestly thought FF suited us well)

Leonie does know a lot about bf. But people would listen more if information was imparted in a less hostile manner.

Leonie - I agree. Someone earlier on suggested that BF was better for bonding, but you've made a good rebuttal.

I haven't had a second yet, just had mc so was considering what I would do but didn't get that far. I really don't know what I would do. If it was relatively easy to instigate then yes I would. But I don't know that I would get myself into a knot over it the way I did (do) with dd.

Oh, sorry to hear that Gwendoline. Sorry if bringing it up was insensitive of me.

I didn't get myself in a knot at all with DS2.

Jlc, I don't think the intention is to make ff feel guilty. I think bfers backs go up a bit when they hear people say formula is just as good or it doesn't make any difference because that undermines bf - why would people even bother trying if formula is just as good iykwim.

I realise that looking at your own children and seeing how wonderful they are having been formula fed will make you want to defend your decision but I think it's difficult to do that without getting a rise out of people who bf. Tbh - most bfers I know (here and irl) are very understanding and focus more on trying to improve education and support for women who want to bf rather than criticising those who ended up using formula. I think anyone who shows any sign of being upset that bf didn't work out is more likely to get sympathy rather than criticism.

Gwendoline, so sorry to hear about your loss :(

If you do want to consider bf again you could try speaking one on one with a bf counsellor. It may also help you to write your experience down and 'debrief' as such. You can address each issue and how you felt about it and how you would handle it the next time if the same situation arose.

Both my dc were ff. My ds picks up colds and things quite easily and my dd has had about 2 colds in her life. She never gets ill, she has a really strong immune system. I was ff and I too never get ill.

My friend and her 2 dc were all bf and have bugs all the time. They live in a damp flat though. I think it all depends on environment and genetics rather then if you were bf or not.

No, not insensitive at all. :). I did wonder if it was worth contacting LLL or whoever before the birth if there is a next time, explaining what had happened before and seeing if there was anything I could do or be aware of in advance, to pre-empt possible problems.

Oh God sorry for totally hijacking the thread