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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

all my son does is play xbox

84 replies

vickyemm · 14/02/2011 17:15

i have two teenage sons one 16 and at college and one 13 all my 13 year old seems to do is play on his xbox when i challenge him about the time he spends on it and suggest he shoulg go outside and hang out hes 13 and i cant really use the term play out anymore he says none of his mates are out there all online on there xboxes so where do i draw the line how long is to long in a day for your son to play xbox when hes always stating theres nothing else to do comments and suggestions please

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:17

So? My son played it until he was 16 from when it come out. My youngest now 17 plays it in between Facebooking.

Whats wrong with it? Would you rather he was out fratenising with the wrong sort getting into trouble.

They do socialise on there you know.

Leave him be, far safer.

My eldest spent all his teenage years on the pc and xbox, he is now at Uni studying Maths, he still spends all his free time on the laptop, this is the technological age.

Jeeez.

At least you know where he is.

slartybartfast · 14/02/2011 17:18

yes but it can turn into an obsession. does his school work suffer?

Wook · 14/02/2011 17:20

unplug it between certain times?

Tortington · 14/02/2011 17:20

i didn't worry if at that age mine were on the puter aftr homework after school - but i drew a line at wekends and chucked them out

i clearly remember my dd telling me that 'no one was out and sh'ed have nothing to do'

i told her, she'd find someone or something soon enough and kicked her out and told her not to come home before tea

rubyrubyruby · 14/02/2011 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:21

My sons school work does not suffer, the eldest is at Uni due a First in his degree, so it never affected him and he played all the time in his spare time from the age of 12 to 16. He literally never went out the door other than to go to school, or bowling with his Mum and Brother.

I do not think there is anything wrong with it at all.

I can guarantee it does not harm them.

Wook · 14/02/2011 17:21

Am serious there- I have worked with a couple of boys your son's age who I think definitely had a serious addiction to computer games- weren't sleeping etc

EricNorthmansMistress · 14/02/2011 17:22

Take it away from him when you don't want him to have it! You are the parent after all...I think there are limits on how much screen time children should have for mental and physical health. You can impose limits, it is allowed.

I completely disagree with FabbyChic by the way.

Limara · 14/02/2011 17:22

The word balance springs to mind.

Take the cable away to the xbox.

Limit his time but fairly.

Agree with Fabby to a point but it isn't healthy to just 'sit' for long periods inactive is it?

Original poster

vickyemm · 14/02/2011 17:22

i know what your saying i just feel like im being a bad mum allowing my child to sit from 4 till 9 playing x box he does have tea inbetween obviously and comes for a chit chat once or twice but with every thing on tv latley about doing this that and the other with your kids and how its not good for them it dont half make you feel crap

OP posts:

LessNarkyPuffin · 14/02/2011 17:22

Does he have friends? Do his marks at school reflect his ability? Does he sleep well?

rubyrubyruby · 14/02/2011 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scurryfunge · 14/02/2011 17:23

Give him a time limit of an hour max per day (or whatever you think as reasonable). My rule is no XBox in the week but he can play at weekends.
Depending where you live and what your transport is like, there are usually dozens of things a 13 year old can do. He needs to be motivated to get up and do something.

Join a gym or a club?

Swimming with his mates?

Find a dog to walk?

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:23

I don't have more than one interest, forcing your c hildren to conform to what you think is best is not always the right way.

Forcing them out the door so they grow up way before they are supposed to, start drinking, smoking is not the way forward.

Try to keep your children children as long as possible and make them feel welcome in their own homes.

Being a mother of two boys I have experience here and I can honestly say that it has not caused any problems with my two boys at all one is now 23 and one is 17.

It is not unhealthy it is a phase that goes from Xbox to the PC. Just make sure all homework is done first and that they eat and turn it off an hour before sleep.

cat64 · 14/02/2011 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:24

You are not a crap mother at all.

He is safe, he is happy, how can that make you a crap mother.

slartybartfast · 14/02/2011 17:24

is it via internet?
can you unplug teh internet when necessary.

he needs other interests.
how about the gym? rugby/football/skateboarding?

Tortington · 14/02/2011 17:24

fabbychic, thats fabulous for your son.

for my son, there is a thing as too much, there is a thing as addiction, there is such a thing as forfeiting all socialisation.

it had to be limited for him to be able to function.

also i noticed huge mood swings, unco-operation and general gobshytiness with all the family.

the game came first and last and there was nothing inbetween

yes balance is the key

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:25

I bet it is the parents of younger children who disagree!

slartybartfast · 14/02/2011 17:25

not so fabbychic.
i think you are in the minority here.

Original poster

vickyemm · 14/02/2011 17:25

my sons school work isnt suffering hes 2 levels above what he should be at but i think we need more family time but what do you do with a teenagers i meen what teenagers want to hang out with there mum

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:25

See my son still came out with me and his brother, we used to eat out regularly, go shopping together, go bowling once a week. And if invited elsewhere he would go.

tralalala · 14/02/2011 17:26

I totally disagree with Fabbychic.

The problems I've seen from DSS and his friends, as well as older people I know in their 20s are this;

Being unfit and /or overweight

mental health problems

staying up all night, and then living a nocturnal life in which schoolwork, getting a job, a social life, sunlight, a life in general all suffer

Unable to communicate properly.

it can be really addictive and hours can just go by, such a waste of child/teenhood.

I allow no more than 2 hours screen time for the teens in this house (tv/computer), they stick to it.

scurryfunge · 14/02/2011 17:26

Also, it may not harm him playing all day but it will make him dull as ditchwater if he does no exercise and has no other interests.

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 17:26

Vicky take them ten pin bowling we used to go once a week! The eldest then got his own bowling ball, take them to the cinema regularly.

Take them out to dinner.

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