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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

all my son does is play xbox

84 replies

vickyemm · 14/02/2011 17:15

i have two teenage sons one 16 and at college and one 13 all my 13 year old seems to do is play on his xbox when i challenge him about the time he spends on it and suggest he shoulg go outside and hang out hes 13 and i cant really use the term play out anymore he says none of his mates are out there all online on there xboxes so where do i draw the line how long is to long in a day for your son to play xbox when hes always stating theres nothing else to do comments and suggestions please

OP posts:

slartybartfast · 14/02/2011 17:27

does he go out with his friends op.
shopping/cinema?

Mutt · 14/02/2011 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tralalala · 14/02/2011 17:29

ps 2 hours is in the weekend and hour on a school day.

tralalala · 14/02/2011 17:30

fabby - what about sport/entertaining themselves, time with their own peer group unsupervised?

MinkyMunky · 14/02/2011 19:26

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Message deleted by Mumsnet.

thefentiger · 14/02/2011 19:35

My Dc are not allowed on the XBOX during the week and are allowed 2hours a day at the weekend -starts on Friday evening

Teens still need boundaries-ridiculous to call them"safe" because they are playing computer games -what makes them "safe " is being out there in the real world getting real experiences and learning how to handle them.

unfitmother · 14/02/2011 19:35

I think my DS spends too long on his xbox too but it is connected to the main family tv in the lounge so he can't play it all night.

maltesers · 14/02/2011 19:36

Bit harsh MinkyMunky. . .Its so hard to drag teenagers off computers and computer games. Have you any.??
Bar hiding the cable for the X box , what else can you do?
Its a shame teenagers sit for so long, they really need some exercise instead, but I know what its like. My son now 22yrs used to sit for hours playing games. He now has a degree in Interactive and Media Production.

Susiewho · 14/02/2011 19:44

My DSS (now 17) was addicted to computer games. It started out as just playing every now and then, but over the space of about 6 months developed into a full-on addiction. If he wasn't at school or college he was playing games. His school work suffered terribly, as he was unable to sleep due to sneakily playing the games until the early hours and having less and less physical exercise. His friendships dwindled away too, and his family life suffered.

We confiscated his consoles and he is a changed person. He eats, sleeps, washes again and his grades have rocketed. He's (now!) glad that we did this.

It's wrong to say that there's no harm in excessive XBox playing.

awubble · 14/02/2011 19:54

You could try doing stuff with him. But i suppose you would have needed to start doing that some time ago to both be comfortable with it.

What happened to football, judo, music lessons, friends round for tea, bikes...?

Meh, what do you care, benefits await.

Susiewho · 14/02/2011 19:59

Awbubble, we suggested all sort of activities to DSS, but he was only interested in the games. His attitude towards doing anything outside of that was negative, to say the least.

That's addiction (and being a teenager!) for you!

tralalala · 14/02/2011 19:59

you sound like you are a great teacher, think some people are giving you a much too hard time...nerves hit (probably on here too much!)

Mutt · 14/02/2011 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 14/02/2011 20:11

Everyone needs some fresh air and exercise... sitting glued to an x-box for hours at a time is not healthy.

Susiewho · 14/02/2011 20:13

Agreed, Mutt. That's why we gave him no choice in the end!

cyb · 14/02/2011 20:14

The alternative to being on an Xbox is not being out on the street fabbyChic

What about reading/cooking/sports clubs etc

I reckon a day on/day off policy is fair

You ahve to parent these things

awubble · 14/02/2011 20:15

Susiewho

Being perfectly frank asking and telling are not the answers here. Persuading is where its at, and not necessarily gently but maybe so.

You need to make DSS understand he is using your elec, your XBOX, etc and your heppy he is enjoying it but there is a bit more required from him other than just that and if he wants the xbox to continue then more effort is required in the other areas.

Thats where you have to make an effort, maybe get some tickets to a games expo as the end result..in between you can make a standard..if you know what i mean.

Best of luck

Mutt · 14/02/2011 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Susiewho · 14/02/2011 20:19

That's what wicked step-mothers are for. .

thornykate · 14/02/2011 20:19

My DS (11yrs) is allowed 1 hour a night on xbox live after homework during the school week.

At weekend he is allowed longer periods of time on it but he is often out doing other things so doesn't get the chance to be on it all day.

At 1st I gave him the chance to be sensible & choose how long he wanted to be online for but this didnt work & I think it's compounded by the online gaming as one or two of his RL mates are always online so it makes it harder for them to switch the game off.

Susiewho · 14/02/2011 20:20

awbubble, thanks. We've cracked his addiction though, and he's doing really well now (see my previous post). :)

TheCowardlyLion · 14/02/2011 20:21

FabbyChic - sounds like lazy parenting to me At least vickyemm is aware that her DS may be developing a problem and is trying to deal with it rather than complacently assuming that someone who spent 'all his teenage years on the pc and xbox' and 'still spends all his free time on the laptop' is fine.

usualsuspect · 14/02/2011 20:24

I'm glad my time on the internet is not limited to 2 hours a day

Gillybobs · 14/02/2011 20:30

Cant believe some folk think its either xbox all night or hanging about the streets????

My 12 yo ADORES his xbox but I believe its my job as a parent to make sure he has balance in his life.

He has about 2 hours each evening on it. It sounds a lot I know but he knows boys who are on it for 6 hrs plus every day (!)

He is only allowed his 2 hours if he goes to at least 2 activities a week, he currently goes to Judo and drum lessons. If I didnt make the effort to take him to his clubs he would be quite happy to sit on the xbox, but again, Im the parent and he is the child, so he goes to his clubs (and loves them when he gets there)

I make sure he puts the xbox off after the 2 hours so he has plenty of time for either his clubs/family time/just hanging around at home with the rest of the family

I dont think kids who do nothing expect play xbox are guaranteed to be nutters or weirdos, however I do believe in making an effort to ensure they have a balanced life. Kids learn so much from being in clubs/groups I think I'd be letting my DS down if I didnt give him a little push to find other things he enoys (almost) as much as Xbox

Sorry to sound controversial but Im afraid I think its lazy parenting to just let them sit on games consoles all night every night. They deserve better

thefentiger · 14/02/2011 20:53

Not contraversial at all Gilly I dont think people who let their children do as they like get the concept of "parenting" at all!

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