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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my DD to be in the netball team every match

66 replies

Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 13:04

My DD plays for a highly competative netball team that plays in a local junior league. We never miss a training session, she practises shooting at home daily and I help out with the admin at the club. More and more girls are joining the club and DD will have to up her game to keep her place. I will be seriously hacked off if she is dropped from the team....I know deep down that IABU but quite frankly I don't care

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 13/02/2011 13:06

If she is dropped surely it will be because others are better than her?

It is about getting the best players for the team not necessarily those whose parents do admin for it.

5DollarShake · 13/02/2011 13:06

And you sound like just the sort of Mum who will let her see it as well. Wink

Deaddei · 13/02/2011 13:09

Oh don't be silly.
Be happy that more girls want to join-gives a variety of players for the coach to choose.
What if your dd suddenly decided she didn't want to play anymore? That would leave the team short.
The fact that you help out is irrelevant

MordechaiVanunu · 13/02/2011 13:10

Oh dear.

Reread your post and reflect is my advice.

squeakytoy · 13/02/2011 13:11

pushy mother alert.... lol

southeastastra · 13/02/2011 13:11

start another team? i do think its annoying when kids are dropped and can't play at something they love

SecretSlattern · 13/02/2011 13:12

YABVU to expect it.

If she were world class, then fair enough.

Spenguin · 13/02/2011 13:15

Think about other mother and daughters looking in: what if, despite all the effort the two of you put in, DD is awful at the sport? Think how pissed they'd be that their kid didn't get to play.

And, let's be realistic, this is hardly going to scar anyone, is it?

mankyscotslass · 13/02/2011 13:15

YABU. Happens every sport as soon as the junior teams start to be successful more players join and they attract better players.

Maybe there will be enough players to run a second team.

alsthough with DS1 football team, because of league/cup success they now refuse to let anyone who is not on the team train with them at all. DS (8) was told not to come back to training, along with 6 other boys. Sad

Am now looking for another club for him to attend!

Violethill · 13/02/2011 13:16

You sound like the sort of mother who is living out your frustrated aspirations through your children.

Stop fussing about whether she's in the team every match. If she's good enough she will be, if others are better, she won't.

Find your own team to play for/job/hobby/life and up your game!

TheMonster · 13/02/2011 13:17

If she gets dropped you can throw a huge tantrum.

scottishmummy · 13/02/2011 13:19

you need to rein in your aspirations and stop enacting your wishes and competitiveness through daughter

so if she gets dropped she will have a wee cry and hopefully learn to cope with disappointment.as she is the adolescent.and its a learning experience

you as the adult,need to get a perspective- this isnt all about you

TheMonster · 13/02/2011 13:20

(I haven't done that in a while)

Spenguin · 13/02/2011 13:22

Also, you seem to view competition as a bad thing and that the other girls are a threat. Why not try and convey how great a sense of healthy competition can be? Surely children should strive to better themselves and learn that throwing a strop to get what you want doesn't sit well in the world.

Also, you throwing a strop or other players thinking your DD isn't good enough and shouldn't be on the team = one very upset little DD.

huddspur · 13/02/2011 13:24

YABU and you know it, if she's good enough then she will play, if she isn't then she won't.

sue52 · 13/02/2011 13:24

Competition for places in a team put together for ability is to be expected. Losing your place and dealing with disappointment is character building. Leave her to deal with it.

SoupDragon · 13/02/2011 13:32

if she's good enough, she onw't be dropped.

If she isn't, she will.

The fact that you help with admin is irrelevant.

scottishmummy · 13/02/2011 13:34

this is like the competitive ballet mums.pushing lily, imogen and poppy to be the dancer mummy could never be

GypsyMoth · 13/02/2011 13:35

Lol get over it!

edam · 13/02/2011 13:36

It's a competitive sport, of course there is going to be competition.

PaisleyLeaf · 13/02/2011 13:36

How about if she played on the 'B' team?

squeakytoy · 13/02/2011 13:37

is the op going to bother to reply.... lol

scottishmummy · 13/02/2011 13:39

maybe shes off berating her dd as a disappointment in life and netball if she dares fall below olympic standards

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 13/02/2011 13:41

What gets me is the implication in your OP that your dd should stay on the team because of the effort that you put in (doing the admin).

Encourage your dd to do her best at her netball, and take the opportunity to teach her that life is competitive, and sometimes she won't get chosen for a team/job/whatever, because someone else is better than her - but that what matters to you is that she has done her best - and you are proud of her for that, whether she is in the team or not.

If her being in the team is the be-all and end-all for you, then if she gets dropped, she is going to feel she has let you down - and that would be very damaging and upsetting for her. Don't do that to her.

Spenguin · 13/02/2011 13:43

Oh, just bung her in the rounders team. She'll get a great headstart!

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