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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my DD to be in the netball team every match

66 replies

Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 13:04

My DD plays for a highly competative netball team that plays in a local junior league. We never miss a training session, she practises shooting at home daily and I help out with the admin at the club. More and more girls are joining the club and DD will have to up her game to keep her place. I will be seriously hacked off if she is dropped from the team....I know deep down that IABU but quite frankly I don't care

OP posts:
Georgimama · 13/02/2011 13:45

Premiership footballers don't necessarily play every match.

Who are you going to get cross with - the coach or your daughter?

SixtyFootDoll · 13/02/2011 13:46

Or is this an AIBU by stealth? Yawn either way

SixtyFootDoll · 13/02/2011 13:46

Or is this an AIBU by stealth? Yawn either way

MorticiaAddams · 13/02/2011 14:42

You would be unreasonable if you really expected it but I get the impression you know that.

You are not being unreasonable to want her to be on the team and to hope she's better than all the other girls.

detachandtrustyourself · 13/02/2011 14:47

Start your own team and say your daughter will be in every match because you do the most/all the admin and it is your ball team.

ziva · 13/02/2011 14:54

you sound like you've got a lot of issues.dont be projecting them onto your child.
get some counselling.

Serendippy · 13/02/2011 15:47

Sounds like you need to join a netball team of your very own. Then you can stop putting all the pressure focus on DD.

FabbyChic · 13/02/2011 15:52

Real funny when the OP does not get the responses they wanted they don't come back!

Spenguin · 13/02/2011 15:53

Nah, she's probably blowing the whistle on the DD practising her goal shots.

and/or getting pom-poms out.

hardhatdonned · 13/02/2011 17:27

I cant abide people like the OP and have been put off various teams etc due to the attitude "im on the committee so my child gets first dibs at an event/team/attraction" it happened when I was in ATC and the opportunity to go on a hike through some far flung mountain range came up. It happened in the hockey team i played for. So i simply stopped going. It's really disheartening for a child to be putting their all in and be deserving of a place but being stopped due to the 'committee'.

princessparty · 13/02/2011 17:43

Unfortuantely IME kids sport runs on nepatism.Who the parents are usually seems to be more important than child's ability.certainly in small clubs

GloriaSmut · 13/02/2011 17:47

Nepotism

(Always worth spelling an accusation correctly)

RunAwayWife · 13/02/2011 18:50

Oh you will hate me.

DS2 is very good at Netball and football and played on the school teams, the training and matches were on separate days days then the school changed training to the same day and DS2 went with football, he is no longer doing the netball training but he still plays in the matches as they need him, so some of the team who train do not always get to play.

Rebeccaruby · 13/02/2011 18:55

OP, I would have more sympathy if your DD was worried about being dropped from the school orchestra, or an academic club...but netball!! It's a bit like worrying about her being her being dropped from playing tig. It's one of those things that they seem to spend a lot of time on at school, but which is completely irrelevant to adult life. I do realise there are a tiny number of women who play at an adult level, but it's a bit like trainspotting or knitting; nice if you like it, but I wouldn't be that bothered.

Catnao · 13/02/2011 19:21

I think the OP is being VU but I have also maybe been unreasonable - my son has been scouted for the academy of a Championship (not Premiership) football club. A school asked if he could not play in a match as he is "too good" and it's "not fair". I said no. Because he's never going to shine academically or win a prize that way, and although he's prob not going to be a footballer statistically, that's what he shines at at the moment. So I'm all for competition, and doing well where you can. If you know what I mean. I want to be able to build his self esteem by encouraging what he really is good at, and if he were dropped cos someone's mu was the administrator, I'd be cross (he wouldn't be though cos he's bloody good at sports Wink )

kaid100 · 13/02/2011 19:37

Keep in mind that if convince the coach to put her on every time whether she is a good player or not, that will mean that other players will not be getting their chance to play. These players have mothers too, how will they feel?

Catnao · 13/02/2011 19:44

Oh - and did I mention - we have told him that it's not gentlemanly to win by 9 nil if three would have been enough? Wink

Susiewho · 13/02/2011 19:53

Of course (as you know) you're being unreasonable.

Why would you be seriously hacked off if she's dropped from the team? Why does it worry you so much?

Original poster
Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 20:00

Apologies in lateness of replying scottishmummy and sqeaky toy ...didn't realise I had a deadline.

Maybe I should have explained that DD is good at netball but not particularly olympic standard. The loyalty and effort she puts in to the club I feel should be rewarded as opposed to those who turn once in a while and get on the team ....that does piss me off. I am sure if other mothers were honest it would piss them off too.

It has absolutely nothing with letting me down or living out my dreams and aspirations.

as Mankyscotslass points out it's when new girls turn up and the old faithful girls are booted.

Sadly Paisleyleaf they don't have a B team it's a bit all or nothing

Off to find a life

OP posts:
Catnao · 13/02/2011 20:00

I agree with susiewho - a bit of competition can be haelthy. wonders if OP's chil/ren are also gifted and talented ?

Catnao · 13/02/2011 20:01

I can spell, honest!

Original poster
Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 20:07

No catnao not gifted and talented just completely normal children...sometimes lazy, cheeky, fantastic, rude...blah blah

Competition can be healthy but so is being rewarded for not being the best but being loyal and hardworking

OP posts:
52Girls · 13/02/2011 20:08

If you play in a team then all members in that team
deserve a fair crack of the whip, as it were. No-one is more important than anyone else.

Original poster
Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 20:10

Rebeccaruby how very narrow minded - what if my DD was not academic and the onlt thing that gave her confidence was netball??

OP posts:
Original poster
Freybybaby · 13/02/2011 20:13

In order to negate any suggestion that I am avoiding negative responses I must point out that I am up early in the morning at 5:30 and need to go to bed....sorry and goodnight

OP posts: