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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parents who moan about their kids gettting too much homework..........

284 replies

rudolphsmum · 12/02/2011 12:19

........to think that parents who moan about there kids getting too much homework can't then expect them to do well in exams.

If my son is finding something difficult I sit and explain it to him and if I can't I speak to his teacher. The most recent complaint I heard was that one mum spoke to the head teacher about her daughter finding homework hard but that she wasn't interested because all she is cares about is the school getting good results ....sorry I thought that was what a good head teacher was supposed to be concerned about.

There seems to be a certain group of parents that send there kids to school and expect all learning to go on between 9-3 Mon - Fri and then wonder why their children struggle and before anyone starts on about children being to tired or need to play and relax when they get home, I am not talking about hours of the stuff either - ok rant over ;)

OP posts:
activate · 13/02/2011 09:34

depends on the age of the kid really

if you are able to explain the homework to them by the age it matters - secondary age - then you're not being unreasonable.

but at this age they should be self-directors

so yes overall I think yabu

Oblomov · 13/02/2011 09:39

OP is talking tosh.
I moan about homework. But not becasue my son struggles. He finds schoolwork very easy. Few of the children in ds's year struggle. And they get loads and loads of homework.
I just think its wrong that 5 and 6 year olds are getting so much homework. Nothing to do with whether they are struggling. They just shouldn't be doing it. Its unnecessary.

Adversecamber · 13/02/2011 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jasminetom · 13/02/2011 10:30

silly and ghastly...and entitled to an opinion.
I stand by what I say. Social mobility is generally lefty fuss and in the real world there is no such thing. Hard work and good brains usually wins through. As for paying for state education, please don't worry, I wouldn't live in the UK if you paid me.
Just as you no doubt find my opinions offensive, I find know it all opinions on social policy narrow minded and provincial. The big wide world exists, visit us sometime.

blueshoes · 13/02/2011 10:59

The argument of not setting homework so that children from disruptive homes are not disadvantaged in the social mobility stakes is communist talk.

Why disadvantage everyone (even those that will benefit from well set optimum amount of homework) just so you don't disadvantage a minority group. Because guess what, aspirational parents will still push their children and tutor and do everything within their power to give their children an educational leg up, so that the vast majority who are not even given any expectations at all after school will languish yet further.

More dumbing down.

vintageteacups · 13/02/2011 11:08

I don't agree with homework at primary school either.

DD (8) is doing very well at school but once at home, I expect to read (which she loves) but find it ridiculous that young chidlren should be spending their Sunday afternoons doing projects.

I don't see what is wrong with a few spellings and perhaps multiplicaiton tablles, but doing projects that take up much of the time either after school or at the weekend is silly.

Kids learn far more at home from playing in the garden or reading or board games than they do researching on the internet about something the teacher didn't find time to teach them in class Hmm.

.

PigValentine · 13/02/2011 11:14

When I was at school, (80's '/90's) there was no homework until year 8, ie 12/13. Children do need to play and relax when they get home - 8.45 to 3.20 is quite a long day for a child, especially when they are having to focus and concentrate for a lot of that time. Learning is not just about sitting in front of a worksheet. I think I would object less to homework if it was set differently, and was genuinely intended to reinforce school activities - such as, I don't know, doing some home project that tied in with classwork - but a lot of it is literally worksheets and workboks.

LindyHemming · 13/02/2011 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xstitch · 13/02/2011 11:31

I think it depends on how much homework you consider too much homework IYSWIM. For example when I was at school (secondary) a teacher told us we should be doing 2hrs per subject per night and each day on the weekend. Now considering the whole class were doing 8 subjects each that was too much.

blimp72 · 13/02/2011 11:34

Homework is the baine of every parents life i have a 3 day nightmare with my 7yr old every week trying to do it. it starts on monday by wed i'm on the verge of throttleing the teacher!! god help me when my DD2 starts getting it. I think primary school children are to young for homework.
I don't mind helping but she dosn't want to do it so the fight is to get her to sit and concentrate on the work.(hair turning gray as i write this)

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 13/02/2011 11:50

Wait until they are at secondary school. DD2 is in Year 8 and gets between 17 and 19 pieces of homework a week. Each takes between half an hour (if we're lucky) and an hour (more like it). Some weeks it feels like all she does is eat, sleep, go to school and do homework :(

vintageteacups · 13/02/2011 12:12

sarahstratton that would mean then that she does 17/19 hours of homework a week??? That's almost part time jobn hours!!

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 13/02/2011 12:23

I know :( It's ridiculous. She does a good 2 hours every school night and 3-4 each weekend day.

duchesse · 13/02/2011 12:27

Sarah- she is probably being ultra-conscientious (coughtypical12yogirlcoughcough). I can guarantee that some of her classmates will be scribbling their homework on the bus in 5 minutes or not doing it at all and saying their dog ate it. She will be flying high at A and degree level.

Tortington · 13/02/2011 12:28

homework at secondary is fine, good and great.

in primary its a waste of time, often above their age level and is in fact i firnly believe - a TEST of how must you as a parent will support and interact with our children - a TEST of your committment.

i remember when the twins were about eight years old - they had to do a presentation - a fucking PRESENTATION on a town they had isited with school.

now i didn't just do a presentation - i fucking well had to do two presentations.

when they i had a minutes notice that tomorrow was dress up as a fucking victorian/2nd world war/pirate/world book day

i had to make two fucking costumes - not one.

when they went on stupid non educational trips that had a 'voluntary' contribution - i had to fork out twice - and they were neer eer fucking cheap - ever.

i hae massie massive issues with primary education and i am convinced that if i added up all the money i was asked for - i could hae sent one of them private

FluffyMummy123 · 13/02/2011 12:29

i agree

s tupid in primary

Ragwort · 13/02/2011 12:30

I agree there is a balance and clearly some children mentioned on this thread are getting far too much but I seriously do not see the problem with 20-30 minutes per night for a 10 year old.

Genuine question - what are you children doing that they really don't have time to do that much?

My DS does an activity after school - mostly sport - every evening (except one) and also Saturday (for an hour) and most of Sunday - however in my opinion the majority of the rest of the time is just spent lying on his backside watching TV - despite plenty of encouragement to do other things (ie: endless boardgames Grin) so quite honestly I am pleased that he has to do some homework.

southeastastra · 13/02/2011 12:33

it drives us mad - i think they should set it at a level the child can do themselves without supervision.

we hate it - bind on a sunday when we should all just be chilling out :(

vintageteacups · 13/02/2011 12:38

A friend asked me last week how long it took dd to do her weekly projects. She said her DS (8) was taking about 5 hours (not all at once)!

I told her DD did it (with me helping to research stuff on web/suggesting ideas etc) in one hour max. I wouldn't allow DD to do it for any longer tbh.

when I said I 'helped', she frowned at me and said "well, the chidl is supposed to do it themself".

I replied "I don't want our entire w/e taken up with arguements about her not doing it and how to do it etc. I said 8/9 was way too young to be doing projects plus maths homework every week.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 13/02/2011 12:40

Duchesse I think you are right. DD1 hands work in, is dissatisfied with it and redoes it then hands it in again. DD2 is the same, she's very conscientious and a bit of a perfectionist. They're both at grammar schools though and most of their friends are like it too.

She is not allowed to do more than 2 hours (my rule) as she also needs 'downtime' imo.

CrosswordAddict · 13/02/2011 13:15

custardo your post strikes a chord with me. I have twins (12) and had a rough time in primary school. School wanted everything their way. Do this, do that, pay for this, bring in the other. No joke when you've got two to do and pay for. Homewrk meant do an hour with one and then do the same hour with the other. I didn't mind because I'd do anything for them but sstill think i was taken for a mug.

Ormirian · 13/02/2011 13:19

LOL OP! You should have seen me and DS2 wrestling with maths every night last week, an hour each time! Then you might have understood why people complain Hmm I wouldn't mind if a primary school child got 10 mins of hw a night but it's rarely as little as that. And when am I supposed to find time to read with him and 'practice' his mental maths.

Thank fuck his older siblings are in secondary school and don't need much help now.

blimp72 · 13/02/2011 15:13

I'm not sure if i'm alone in this train of thought but when i went to school i started at age 5 no nursery and no reception these young children are in school almost two years longer then we where back in the 70's 80's plus they are gonna have to stay there until they reach 18 not 16 like us. how much can we expect of these little ones. No wonder they grow up to quick

biryani · 13/02/2011 15:58

I'm going to get flamed here, but I don't think that any school has the "right" to insist that children do anything out of school hours. I resent using my own time on this pointless exercise, not because I'm lazy or neglectful, but simply don't believe that school should have the authority to interfere in out-of-school life in this way. If homework is given, it should be optional. I can't understand why otherwise intelligent, authoritative parents bow down to schools on this issue-and in any case, isn't helping your child with its homework cheating?

nooka · 13/02/2011 20:44

At primary you are quite right it is not allowed to be compulsary, however most schools get around this by making you sign a home school agreement, and then saying that you are required to follow the homework policy as a result. We got into a slight fight with school on this because ds got a detention for not handing in enough pieces of homework and dh got very angry with school. ds has serious organisational problems as part of his dyslexia (which they knew) and the homework was in his bag (he had forgotten, even on prompting that he'd even done it). dh said if there was punishment it should be of us as parents (ds was 7 at the time) as whether the homework was done or not was really down to us. So we got the homework policy given to us. Apparently having homework is to 'prepare your child for work', which IMO for primary school is utter bullshit.

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