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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids and alcohol

76 replies

englishroseinwales · 11/02/2011 21:39

Hubby and I were sitting eating dinner tonight with our twelve year old son. As always on a Friday evening we had opened a bottle of wine, my husband then stunned me by suggesting that we let our son have a small glass of wine with us!! To say I was angry was an understatement, he then said he should have suggested wine mixed with water and that most kids in France/Italy at around twelve years of age do this. Luckily my son did not want any wine, please tell me my hubby's is wrong.

OP posts:

Ooopsadaisy · 11/02/2011 22:42

Hey Bogeyface - just to let you know I'm listening!

But are the current guidelines to introduce wine at 6 months correct?

gobbledegoop · 11/02/2011 22:42

Ok so the general consensus is to get your kids pissed young then they wont turn into alkies... haha i'm kidding before you all jump on me

Seriously though, this is an interesting topic.

Ellielou02 · 11/02/2011 22:43

Yeah just echoing other posters yabu and glad you are going to speak to DH, I was always offered a small wine a xmas/special occasions and when I went out as a 15/16 year old I did take part in underage drinking but always knew when to stop whereas my friends were getting lifted by police/stomachs pumped etc, me I had a few diamond whites till i felt a bit lightheaded then stopped.

Bogeyface · 11/02/2011 22:43

lol Oops! I dunno, doesnt it depend if its sterile?

quietlysuggests · 11/02/2011 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ooopsadaisy · 11/02/2011 22:46

Bogeyface - The alcohol will kill any bacteria - it's the safest drink to give your baby before introducing solids. No need to sterilise the wine glass!

AgentZigzag · 11/02/2011 22:51

I was like you eden and had a granny who made her own wine and beer that I remember regularly being very a bit tipsy on at a young age

I also went through a phase of being a bit of drunken pisshead when I left home at 16, before settling down to the responsible drinker status I mostly have now.

Does it really influence adults that much whether they have alcohol as children?

If you're going to drink to excess, I doubt it'll have anything to do with whether you drank it as a child.

maryz · 11/02/2011 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 11/02/2011 22:53

I don't take credit or blame society.
My father was an alcoholic.
But my belief is that if a child witnesses low level, non problematic consumption of alcohol and is introduced to it in a moderate way in specific social situation, then they are less likely to adopt massively different behaviours.

We were aware of my fathers problems. He never drank casually in front of us and we rarely saw him drunk.

StuffingGoldBrass · 11/02/2011 22:57

Why such an overreaction, OP? Wine is nice and moderate amounts of drink are a part of most adults' lives.
If you have or have had a close family member with alcohol issues or have had drink problems of your own, your reaction is a bit more understandable but if not, then maybe you need a large one to chill out with.

Bogeyface · 11/02/2011 23:01

Thank you Maryz, its nice to have clarification :o

shakey1500 · 11/02/2011 23:05

YABU- it's a sensible introduction which will take the "mystery" away.

Original poster

englishroseinwales · 11/02/2011 23:49

Hi StuffingGoldBrass, I did overreact simply because
I thought he was too young at twelve. I still do think he is too young but I can see that the majority on here do not agree with me. To see my son drinking alcohol just doesn't seem right. However, as I stated earlier, I will talk this through with hubby and son and come to some agreement. I can see the benefits, ie, it not being a novelty and getting used to the taiste, it's just that he is twelve. I wouldn't hesitate to let him have a drink with us at fourteen which I think is a suitable age. I don't have a problem with alcohol myself, I drink most weekends and really enjoy a glass or three. All comments and advice are appreciated, I am taking notes.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 11/02/2011 23:57

I actually think that 12 is a bit young to be offered a whole glass of wine. But if he had asked if for a taste I would have let him have a very small amount/

pinkstinks · 12/02/2011 00:05

i dont see it as much of a problem, however perhaps it is something that could have been discussed beforehand, ie: not in front of your son as then it wouldnt have been such a big deal...
My mum was always very anti alcohol, hence me getting bladdered on lambrini aged 14 shudders at memory

cat64 · 12/02/2011 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

englishroseinwales · 12/02/2011 00:15

Hi there, he has had tastes quite a few times. If I have had a cocktail, a glass of bubbly or wine I have always allowed him to have a taste. He didn't ask for wine this evening, it was my husband that suggested he have it, this Is why I flipped (I think).

OP posts:

tigerdriverII · 12/02/2011 00:26

I think this is a really interestng question.

DS is 9. He has had no alcohol, apart from dipping his finger into some beer froth.

My mate's DD is 9. I was at her house last week, where the DD was allowed to taste some home made wine (it was delish, but god knows what the abv was. I was driving so had a tiny glass just in case).

When I was 11 ish, my dad (big drinker) used to take me out to pubs at lunchtime, and wouldn't buy soft drinks as it was embarrassing, so I had lots of drinks from quite a young age. also, my granny (not his mmum) used to give me vodka and tonics (two weak ones) every Fri night to keep her company (or a can of Mackeson).

I drink quite a lot (35 odd years on). Would I drink less without this exposure? I don't know. I just don't feel I want to expose DS quite this soon. Also, I do want hhim to pass his driving test asap, so he can drive me to the pub.

reinitindear · 12/02/2011 00:57

We had this discussion at Christmas my dd1 11 (nearly 12) asked if she could try champagne with lunch we gave her half a glass she drank half of it before asking for a neat gin glass of lemonade.I felt by saying no it would have placed a forbidden therefore exciting tag on alcohol.

Morloth · 12/02/2011 08:12

My neice had her first (tiny) glass of wine the other day at a family dinner, she is 12, she was also then allowed a decaf espresso afterwards when we were having dessert. I have to say I was impressed, the wine was a really big cab sav (so not lolly water). She took her time and made that 1/3 glass last all evening.

YABU, both DH and I were raised with a very relaxed attitude to alcohol and we are both light/moderate drinkers (as are the rest of our siblings), will be doing the same with our DSs.

frenchfancy · 12/02/2011 08:27

The idea that most kids in France drink wine with their meals is either outdated or an urban myth.

It doesn't happen. A 12 yr old MIGHT be allowed a small glass of low strength cider, but that is all.

justcarrots29 · 12/02/2011 09:01

I can remember having a tiny sherry glass of Babycham when I was 4 and my mum and dad letting me drink a half litre of Malibu when I was 12 and buying whole bottles of wine for me at 15. Weirdos!

I think 15 is a good age to introduce alcohol.

MotherofHobbit · 12/02/2011 09:23

englishroseinwales I agree with you. I would have been quite cross with DH if he had done the same especially if your DS hadn't asked for it.

I am very interested to see that the majority of posters either don't see a glass of wine for a 12yo as a bad thing or even a good thing as it's introduced by the parents.

I can definitely agree that children should be introduced to alcohol in a responsible way by their parents but twelve is much too young for anything more than a sip and then only if they ask.

There is some evidence that any alcohol before 15 is harmful

KnittedBreast · 12/02/2011 11:07

i think yabu. she needs to be made aware of alcohol. what would you rather with you in a controlled environment or at the park with a bottle of vodka and her mates?

SardineQueen · 12/02/2011 11:15

pagwatch what is your advice for dry households then?

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