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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be feeling pretty pissed off about this?

81 replies

sevendwarves · 11/02/2011 20:50

I probably ABU but I need to rant.

My parents are going on holiday in three weeks time for 10 days. They have three dogs and can't afford to put them in kennels. They usually go abroad twice a year and rely on family (usually me, although once my uncle and once my brother) to house-sit with the dogs whilst they're away.

My sister had already said she would be able to look after them as she's on maternity leave at the moment anyway and said (in her own words) she has nothing better to do. This worked out great for us as we're moving house next week and obviously want the chance to settle in rather than stay at my parents house, and also DS will be in his own room for the first time and I don't think it's fair on him to be in his room for 2 weeks and then have to move into my parents house for 10 days.

My mum came over tonight and said that my sister has told her that she won't be able to house-sit because she has a baby(DD 5 months) and doesn't think it's fair. So my mum told me (rather than asked) that I have to house-sit instead.

The reason I'm so pissed off with it is that DH and I had to do it when DS was 4 months old, and I did mention it was an inconvenience but was told as my sister worked 30 miles away it was unfair to expect her to do it. I don't know if it's relevant but will also mention that her DD sleeps through the night already so it isn't like my sister is still in the nightfeed-exhaustion stage.

AIBU?

OP posts:

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 11/02/2011 20:52

They go abroad twice a year and can't afford kennels?

werewolf · 11/02/2011 20:53

Why not say no? The world won't stop.

Meow75 · 11/02/2011 20:54

No, YANBU, it's selfish sis's turn to do the duty by parents.

Tell her to suck it up or suggest to your parents that they factor kennel fees into their holiday because clearly neither you nor your sister are chomping at the bit for this particular chore, and I totally understand!!!

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 20:54

stand your ground and sy no!!!

bumpybecky · 11/02/2011 20:54

yanbu have you tried saying no?

wonderstuff · 11/02/2011 20:54

YANBU say no.

Original poster

sevendwarves · 11/02/2011 20:54

They say they can't afford it but tbh I think they don't think they should pay for it when they can guilt get family to do it for nothing.

OP posts:

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 11/02/2011 20:55

No YANBU it would be much easier for your sister to do it than you - her baby wont care where her cot is! She's on ML so being away from home isn't a big deal... what's her problem?

Flisspaps · 11/02/2011 20:56

Say no, it's not convenient for you.

CoffeeDodger · 11/02/2011 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 11/02/2011 20:58

Just say no.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 11/02/2011 20:59

Another YANBU here if you're moving bhopuse you've got enough on your plate already. As is often said on here JUST SAY NO! ( and soonish too so they can sort their kennel care out.

Original poster

sevendwarves · 11/02/2011 20:59

I have tried saying no and made it quite clear I'm annoyed but she's clearly on my sisters side.

Also my parents have helped us out quite a bit with our new house (dad has been helping decorate and mum bought us a new table because we're skint) so I do feel guilty but I don't think it's fair that her reasons for it being inconvenient are listened to more than mine.

OP posts:

winnybella · 11/02/2011 20:59

Just say no.

Tbh I wouldn't ask my family to do that for me. Sure a day or so, or in an emergency. But not for 10 days of holidays.

YANBU.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/02/2011 21:00

Say no.

If you get saddled with it because you can't say no then that's really something you need to address within yourself.

You have the right to say no.

"We cannot look after your dogs. You will have to make other arrangements."

PatriciaHolm · 11/02/2011 21:00

Say No, sorry, you have a load of things lined up those weeks that rely on you being at home (deliveries etc for your new home, coffees with friends to help unpack etc....) arranged because your sister had agreed. You could mention that you did it with a small baby so assumed she would have no problem....

Tolalola · 11/02/2011 21:02

Call your mother.

Say, "Hi Mum, sorry, but I've talked about it with DH and we agree that we will NOT be able to housesit for you. It's not convenient with the house move, especially at this short notice."

End of discussion.

Although if she argues you could always remind her that you managed to do it when your DS was only 4 months old.

RunAwayWife · 11/02/2011 21:02

YANBU at all, say you wont be able to do it and stick to it

Herecomesthesciencebint · 11/02/2011 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackletterday · 11/02/2011 21:04

Could you not have the dogs in your house? I'm not saying you should or anything, yanbu to tell them to eff off. However if you want to keep them sweet, could be an option, however your sister is being very shit, promising to look after them, then letting them down.

Tolalola · 11/02/2011 21:04

x post with loads...

It really doesn't matter what she says or how little she wants to listen to you, she can't force you to move into her house.

Just tell her you can't do it.

LoopyLoopsPoopaScoop · 11/02/2011 21:08

If you can't afford to go on holiday, you shouldn't go on holiday. They pay for kennels or don't go. Simple.

I don't think your sister is being unreasonable by the way, your parents are.

verytellytubby · 11/02/2011 21:08

Your parents are being incredibly unreasonable. Just say you can't move into their house.

Original poster

sevendwarves · 11/02/2011 21:15

loopy you're probably right she's just better at standing up for herself than I am. I didn't mind doing it when DS was little because it was more inconvenient for her working 30 miles away but I just assumed that now as she isn't working it wouldn't be a problem.

I will phone her after I've finished the ironing and try grovelling pursuading her.

OP posts:

Eglu · 11/02/2011 21:18

Don't worry abotu persuading your sister. You just need to stand firm to your Mum and say no

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