to wish I had more positive mum friends?

[MaryPortasFan]

OK, new poster, please go easy...

All the new mum people I have met since having my DD 12 weeks ago are really negative!

I know I'm lucky that we've had no colicky crying and my DD sleeps through most nights (but wakes 4+ times on others) but I have worked hard to establish bed time etc and some days she whinges all day- like all babies. But talking to the mums I've met, with older and younger babies, it is like a competition to prove whose baby is the hardest and who does the least housework because their baby needs them all the time.

Are there positive mums out there who don't find this baby thing TOO difficult, just a bit challenging at times but mostly fun?! Are there any other mums who think the housework can be done in a round an hour a day most days and is not hard to accomplish even if you do have- shock horror- a baby to look after?!

Just wanted to say thanks to those of you with a different perspective. Interestingly I had an email from another lady from my baby group saying she felt it had been really negative on Thursday! I think you have made me realise that this is about my feelings towards being home all day on my own rather than anything else.

And of course I know I'm lucky, I've got the best baby in the world!

And for those of you who say "Just you wait..." in a negative way, I suppose all I can say is that I don't want to live my life always looking for the worse thing that's coming. I'd rather enjoy what I've got and look forward to the future with positivity. So that's my mission this week!

And as for being smug. Do you know what, I've never had anything to even feel remotely smug about before. So even though I didn't mean any of what said in a smug way, I'm going to take that as a positive too!

Its brilliant you're enjoying your baby so much

I suspect what you term negative I would think of as being self-deprecating. And I know I'm guilty of that as don't want to be considered smug - the crime of the century on mn after all

Also you are very lucky to have a baby who sleeps well and I was quite smug about the same with DC1 who had a brilliant bedtime routine too Unfortunately DC3 just wouldn't sleep for the first 12 months of her life and I was guilty of complaining about being tired because the sleep deprivation did take over my life.

But you know you'll meet people who you have more in common with it just takes time and having babies at the same time does not make people natural friends really.

Enjoy though

I think it's lovely to hear someone saying they are enjoying their baby, especially in the early days.

As for it becoming more difficult as they get older...I just think the challenges change, the goal posts move (constantly!).

You have the right attitude OP. Enjoy the present and take each new day as it comes!

Both. Yanbu to be irritated by competitive negativity (it definitely exists!)but yabu to hang round with people who irritate you.

As other pps have noted, mum&baby groups aren't compulsory. Personally, I would rather bang my head against the wall but I'm not a group person in general and know that they are good for people who are more extrovert and/or lonely.

I also have 1 easy, healthy baby (no routine needed...). I took advantage of this to use mat leave to go out to galleries, museums and parks, to meet real friends for lunch, to do part of a postgrad course and search for and buy a property.

If you don't want to sit and listen to people whinge, then don't. Do something else instead.

well said togarama

Just crack out the wine next time you meet up, and everyone will soon be having fun! I remember the first time someone turned up with a bottle of wine to one of our NCT lunch meet-ups - it was a revelation!

Well aren't you just brilliant OP!