to think that people on here are not rescuers and that they get far too involved?

[wannaBe]

I've just read a thread where a poster has said that if she had the money she would hire a private detective to track someone down to make sure she was ok.

I am constantly baffled by the lengths that some posters seem to think it is their right to go to to get involved in someone else's problems they've posted online.

In the years I've been here I've seen posters call ambulances/the police/social services/ask mn to track people down etc.

Apart from the fact that most drama threads are trolls, why is it that people seem to think that they have the right to get so personally involved in someone else's life without being asked to, purely because the person has posted about it on here? The whole aim of mn is that it's anonomous, surely?

Tbh it's like competitive do-gooding.

And that's before we get to the possibility of a poster being a troll and someone getting seriously hurt one day...

A 'namechanger' claimed to be in a cubicle in Vic Station toilets having shat herself. The description became ever more vivid. Then the clincher 'I'm crying now'. Someone arranged for her sister who works there to go to the toilet with spare clothes...no poster, sister late for work with a series of unfortuante knock on consequences, MNHQ confirmed the OP as a known troll.

MN has been a lifeline for many people - there have been hours of support offered and well used. I don't tink it's smug, or cynical, to suggest that people don't get caught up in situations for their own purposes, or cross lines which make them unsafe or invade other people's privacy.

"most drama threads are trolls, why is it that people seem to think that they have the right to get so personally involved in someone else's life without being asked to, purely because the person has posted about it on here? "

Wannabe. that is just shocking.

and do you realise what utter contradictory crap you have just written?

...."without being asked to, purely because the person has posted about it on here?.. "

I mean the above.

I don't see any smugness. I see a sensible warning that people should think twice before putting themselves at risk.

edited you are

amazingly interesting.

tell us more

I think its up to the individual poster how much they want to get involved though ..we can all make our own minds up surely

UA - Wannabe means people who pro-actively track down people, find them out in RL when they haven't asked for that to happen.

No-one is saying that online support, or contact and RL helpbetween posters who get to know each other is problematic.

IMO its great if you can help. There was a situation in which a poster was stuck with a friends bf and no milk, kids asleep no way of getting milk. The offers of help that were being given were humbling, and made me realise that there is human kindness out there. Some posters(not all) who post on here are asking for help as they have no where else to go, believe it or not it is like a little community in which you do feel safe (i have been a regular for about 4 years), and if MNetters can save a life that is worth it imo.

Of course when deciding to help in RL you would exercise caution as you would in any other situation whereby you are meeting someone youdontknow.

People should think carefully about meeting someone from her in real life, of course. That's just common sense.

But how many people have been on here and thanked others for their support and advice? How many times have posters been advised to contact the samaritans because they have said they are having thoughts of suicide? Sometimes people who feel comfortable in this little virtual world will use it as their only source of help and support.

I think it's got to be best to do what you can to help and not automatically jump to cynical conclusions just because we are on the internet.

I'd rather feel stupid about being taken in by a troll than feel like I'd had the chance to help someone that really needed help but had ignored them. There can be serious consequenses when people have their cries for help ignored.

What would you like to know Amazonian?

another danger with tracking someone down is that trolls sometimes adopt false identities

usual - yes, but this isn't just about danger to the poster who goes to help/gets emotionally involved. I think it must sometimes be a huge shock to someone who thought they were anonymous, to find they've been subject to detective work on MN and suddenly people are making threads about them. It might be the last thing you want if you're already upset/scared.

That sort of situation is totally different from the sort of practical difficulties people sometimes post about.

I hate it when posters write about really emotive issues, and people cry 'troll', that person may be genuine, and all that troll crying could send them over the edge as they might be in a fragile situation, and feel comfortable talking on here.

Piglet - sorry, but I thought that the formula-in-the-night thread was a perfect example of people suggesting that other people help without thinking it through. I don't know the OP, or recognise her as a regular poster, I think others did. There was lots of v sensible advice about calling the SS Out of hours / a taxi co / the GP Out of Hours etc, but there were also posters who didn;t seem to now the OP saying 'oh tell us where you live, maybe someone lives near and can bring you some formula'. Personally I don't think people should be going to a place which had been described as rural, in the night, to meet someone they don't knwo, OR that anyone should suggest that a woman on her own in the night should give her address to people she has no idea who they are. I am sure that OP was well known on Mn, but the scenario had all the right indredients to get people sucked in without thinking about safety.

yes, truth is often stranger than fiction - extraordinary things happen in real life that just would not be plausible in art form.

I'd always give the benefit of the doubt, but would be slow to get involved unless I'd virtually known someone for a long time, or met them in person.

Yes you do have to be careful but the riven saga she asked people to help write letters to MPS. She asked people what the address was. People were trying to help that's all. If she only wanted to vent then she shouldn't have asked for people to write to mps etc. I think sometimes it is more the poster that is wrong than the people replying. Naturally people want to help. Obviously their are some extremes.

Your right blu, that situation one would excercise caution and gone with a couple of people, noway alone.

the reverse with the op with the formula in the night thread, how does she know that the people coming to help are legit?

I have risked my life meeting many different MN-ers in S London parks, and escaped unharmed every time.
Has occasionally led to a hangover, though

Nobody remember the bread and millk thread then?

Simpson on here doesn't know me but sent me Neocate in the post at her own expense. This helped my baby get the formula he needed (plus advice I got). How is this a bad thing???? I gave another poster 11 tins of a specialist milk from the old prescription and her brother collected and explained how helpful this was. Otherwise they'd be in a bin, hundreds of £ worth!

Pigletmania - exactly!