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AIBU?

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Original poster

My friend told me she is committing benefit fraud

108 replies

UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 09:36

I have name changed for this.

Have a friend who I met this summer.She has DD aged 1 and I have 2DS's aged 2 and 6months so we are both SAHM's.

She has recently told me that she has been claiming housing benefit(£800 per month)and working tax credits,child tax credits and Income support.She told me she has 'hundreds'of pounds at the end of every month.

Her OH and father of their child live in the same apartment and works full-time and earns(in her words)lots of money.

The only thing that really worries me is that her DD sleeps in her cheap pushchair at night or sometimes their bed if she wakes in the night.
She has never bought her a crib/moses basket or cot since she has been born.
She also spends her money on cocaine at the weekends.
Anyway she is now getting worried about people watching her and getting caught.
Her partner sometimes finishes work and goes out drinking spending his earnings and she constantly moans about him that she can't stand him etc.
I think she feels that this benefit money is her stability.She also justifies it by saying he could get laid off next week or they could break up so she would have to claim anyway.
It does make me a Angrywhen my OH works his arse off and every penny we have goes on the cost of living with nothing left over.

I don't want this thread to turn into a 'benefit bashing' or an argument just wanted to know how any of you would deal with this?
Would you report her(hate to do that)
or brush it under the carpet or stop seeing her as a friend?

Thankyou for reading.Smile

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 12:42

'Also she cries alot to me and I think she has a slight bout of PND.(Just guessing)'

She's a coke head. They get a lot of mood swings and paranoia.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:45

Taintedpaint-thankyou.I'm going to do the gentle suggestions.Give her chance etc.

Doinmecleaning-Her partner lives there and works 40 plus hours a week.She pretends shes a lone parent on the forms.
If she said she lived with her OH and that he worked/what he earned she wouldn't get income support and HB.

OP posts:
mrsscoob · 09/02/2011 12:46

From reading your orignal post, I think what she needs to do is kick her bloke out! He doesn't sound like much of a partner/father if he's drinking all his earnings and "she can't stand him" Then she wouldn't be commiting benefit fraud and she could get a single bed for herself and have space for her childs cot too!

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:47

Mrsscoob-will tell her thatSmile

OP posts:
KnittedBreast · 09/02/2011 12:49

if shes suffering from pnd she might be using the coke at the weekends as something to look forward to that makes her feel a bit better. if she isnt doing it in front of her child then it isnt really any of your business.

the hurt you will cause her by shopping her from an already difficult situation could be the start of a far worse emotional/mental situation.

help her, dont makes things harder

DooinMeCleanin · 09/02/2011 12:52

Yes but if the partner is not contributing to the running of the household then she is not neccessarily commiting benefit fraud. She is getting the same as she would do if he did not live there.

It doesn't matter where people live. You can sleep in different houses and still commit fraud. It is all to do with being financially involved.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:54

Mouseface-She lives in a 1 bed flat.I'm assuming she doesn't have the space!
She didn't tell me that btw I just can't get my head round that someone wouldn't want their child sleeping in a nice comfortable cot.
In that way she seems awful but I remember her telling me how she cries when she tried to make her dd some vegetables mashed up and put them into ice-cube trays and it went wrong and she felt like such an awful mother.

OP posts:
georgeorwell · 09/02/2011 12:55

cccpccp dishonest britain has been created by top-bottom culture of dishonesty. lying's ok for polititians then that take countries to war and bail out their banker mates? you've got it all UPSIDE DOWN. thank fuk i wrote 1984 and got outta little england quick before it all came true!

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 13:01

Knitted-I know what she puts up her nose is none of my business!
Infact last summer I went with dh to one of his colleagues Garden Party at their 7 bed home and all the guests were professionals/successful/wealthy etc and 95% of them were openly taking coke so if I was to report everyone for doing class A drugs I'd be on the phone all day!Anyway who am I to judge anyone?

I'm not judging just asking what people would do.

Doinmecleaning-his money is their money(apart from when he spends it on drink)

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 13:01

'if she isnt doing it in front of her child then it isnt really any of your business.'

Cocaine trade causes the deaths of tens of thousands of people, more than a few of them poor teenage boys traffiked into other countries to provide slave labour or forced to be 'mules' and untold environmental damage and suffering to all Latin America. Two weeks ago, in Mexico, a girl's 15th birthday party was interrupted by gunfire and she and 23 of her teenage mates were murdered as two cartels battle for power to shift the coke north.

But tea and sympathy for this adult who cheats the system, sleeps her kid in a pushchair and snorts coke at weekends.

kittybuttoon · 09/02/2011 13:01

To get her to write the letter:

Yes, good idea to start off the conversation with 'I'm really worried you'll get caught like all these other people round here...'

Or look up some horror stories on the internet, and frighten the bejesus out of her.

and then say 'But if they are investigating you, they'll stop if you just let them know your OH lives here. Best be honest with them - they'll have nothing to investigate then'

You've seen her flat - is there really no room for a cot? I bet there is, if she chucks away a cupboard, or gets a smaller bed for herself, or whatever. Stress that the poor baby needs a proper mattress and secure cot, whatever else she has to sacrifice.

Mouseface · 09/02/2011 13:04

She clearly needs some support. Sounds like she's a bit unsure/not confident when it comes to her DD.

pinkstarlight · 09/02/2011 13:07

sounds more like shes claiming HB,IS and child tax credits as a single parent and her partner is claiming working tax credits to support the family.

they are crazy there is going to be a point when they get cought,i thought it was all on one data base where they check with each other.

sounds like your friends drug habit is stopping her from thinking straight,every now and then she will be asked to renew one of her benefits how on earth will she explain why shes got so much money in her bank and when the system checks with other benefits she will be found out.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 13:16

'Yes but if the partner is not contributing to the running of the household then she is not neccessarily commiting benefit fraud. She is getting the same as she would do if he did not live there.'

It's fraud because any time you are living with a partner, you are supposed to re-apply for all your benefits as a domestic pair.

So, if your partner moves in, you inform your council (who pays your HB), DWP and tax credits.

Then, you re-apply, so that these agencies can re-assess your entitlement based on both of your incomes and assets.

They care not if you are pissing all your money up a wall or blowing it up your nose.

memphis83 · 09/02/2011 13:16

£800 a month for housing benefit? and no room for a cot?? they wouldnt give her more hb than the rent surely for that much she could rent a house? i pay £550 a month and live in a detatched property in a nice area, worst case she should put cot in the living room or get rid of some bedroom furniture to accomadate a cot

LittleMissHissyFit · 09/02/2011 13:16

If she is claiming HB, surely that goes to pay the rent.. the rest of the Benefits surely can't be that much a week if she has 1 DD.

I can't see how she can end up with hundreds of pounds left over from this at the end of the month, unless this guy IS paying his way and more.

No doubt about the fact that if she is saying she is single and isn't then she is in the wrong.

If she needs out of that relationship, you can support her in this, then the claim wouldn't be fraudulent.

Tell her to get evidence as to his earnings ready for the CSA.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 13:17

My ds1 will soon be going from his cot to a bed so I maybe ask if she wants it.
It's in perfect condition and was actually going to sell it opn ebay but will now offer it to her.Smile

Also will try to mention what may happen to her if she is caught.I'm sure she will tell me whether she is going to be honest(she's told me everything else in her life!)

OP posts:
curlymama · 09/02/2011 13:19

Report her. If you don't, imo you are almost as bad as she is because you are covering for her and allowing her to steal from every honest person that pays their taxes or genuinely needs benefits.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 13:21

'Report her. If you don't, imo you are almost as bad as she is because you are covering for her and allowing her to steal from every honest person that pays their taxes or genuinely needs benefits.'

Also fuelling the stereotype that all people on benefits are liars who spend the money on booze and drugs.

georgeorwell · 09/02/2011 13:21

OP when u going for fag break? make sure u fill next lackey in properly this time else u'll just keep contradicting yourself. are u paid well for this?

curlymama · 09/02/2011 13:24

How is what I said doing that Expat? I really can't see how you got that from my post. I said that to falsely claim benefits is unfair on those who genuinely need them.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 13:25

Do go away georgeorwell.If you don't believe me then don't read this.Why bother?

OP posts:
TotemPole · 09/02/2011 13:25

Does her partner earn enough to drink away his earning and contribute several hundred a month to the household?

A lot of what she's saying is vague or contradictory.

Could she be making it all up, a compulsive liar?

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 13:39

curly, i meant that, by her actions, this OP's mate is perpetuating a stereotyple that all benefits claimants are liars who use the money for booze and drugs, IYKWIM.

georgeorwell · 09/02/2011 13:42

OP as a wide eyed tender ingenue i actually HOPE this is made up otherwise with friends like u..........