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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend told me she is committing benefit fraud

108 replies

UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 09:36

I have name changed for this.

Have a friend who I met this summer.She has DD aged 1 and I have 2DS's aged 2 and 6months so we are both SAHM's.

She has recently told me that she has been claiming housing benefit(£800 per month)and working tax credits,child tax credits and Income support.She told me she has 'hundreds'of pounds at the end of every month.

Her OH and father of their child live in the same apartment and works full-time and earns(in her words)lots of money.

The only thing that really worries me is that her DD sleeps in her cheap pushchair at night or sometimes their bed if she wakes in the night.
She has never bought her a crib/moses basket or cot since she has been born.
She also spends her money on cocaine at the weekends.
Anyway she is now getting worried about people watching her and getting caught.
Her partner sometimes finishes work and goes out drinking spending his earnings and she constantly moans about him that she can't stand him etc.
I think she feels that this benefit money is her stability.She also justifies it by saying he could get laid off next week or they could break up so she would have to claim anyway.
It does make me a Angrywhen my OH works his arse off and every penny we have goes on the cost of living with nothing left over.

I don't want this thread to turn into a 'benefit bashing' or an argument just wanted to know how any of you would deal with this?
Would you report her(hate to do that)
or brush it under the carpet or stop seeing her as a friend?

Thankyou for reading.Smile

OP posts:
Takeresponsibility · 09/02/2011 10:04

I would report her for the benefit fraud, everyone who claims fraudulently is stealing both from those who pay for it (the taxpayer) and depleting the amounts paid to those who really need it, as well as bringing genuine claimants into disrepute.

I would also report her to social services for the child neglect.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 10:04

But if I report her she could go to prison so I'd feel awful!
Also if I tell her that she could risk going to prison she might just tell me she's going to stop claiming but not really stop.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 09/02/2011 10:04

She clearly is not getting income support and working tax credit, not possible.

Housing benefit would be paid if she is the only person shown to be living at her place of residence, she may well have moved the partner in after she claimed housing benefit.

Ohjustshootmenow · 09/02/2011 10:06

Something needs saying to the woman.

mmmitsdelicious · 09/02/2011 10:06

No Shirley not ironic at all.
I've just taken my own advice. Wink

bubblewrapped · 09/02/2011 10:09

If he isnt officially living with her, then she could be claiming the HB, but he wouldnt be able to claim the WTC.

I think she is lying about it, in some sort of chavbrag attitude.. maybe even setting a trap for the OP to see if the op reports her..

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/02/2011 10:11

As others have said, first things first, UsernameChange - could you locate a cot for her on freecycle/freegle and deliver it to her, so she has no excuse to carry on putting the baby in the buggy.

Then tell her she is risking prison, and that she is putting you in a very difficult position because you know she is doing something illegal, and you don't want to end up in court as a witness for the prosecution (I don't know how likely that is, but I suppose it could happen).

newbeemummy · 09/02/2011 10:13

I would suggest you speak to your "friend" explain that the conditions in which she is bring up her kids is really not acceptable.

My personal view is sod the benefit fraud, that's nothing compared to the neglectful manner in which she is raising her child, I would call SS.

homeboys · 09/02/2011 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hullygully · 09/02/2011 10:16

Is she fat, black, Lesbian and horribly maimed as well?

adamschic · 09/02/2011 10:16

Partner would only be getting WTC if he was low paid.

So sounds like an exageration by the OP.

I would tell your friend to get her DD a proper bed to sleep on. Probably wouldn't report her personally but might express my concern to the nosiest neighbour. Also would be more choosy who I befriended.

Hullygully · 09/02/2011 10:16

But if I report her she could go to prison so I'd feel awful!
Also if I tell her that she could risk going to prison she might just tell me she's going to stop claiming but not really stop.

Hey, why not mind your own feckin beeswax, then?

homeboys · 09/02/2011 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cantspel · 09/02/2011 10:17

There is no such thing as offically living with someone. there is the usual myth that you can spend upto 3 nights there but that is just a myth. Living together as a couple is assessed by do you eat, shop together, share resources ect and very little to do with where you keep your tooth brush.

Just report her. If you are wrong no harm done if she is on the fiddle then she deserves everything she gets and you could be doing the cild a favour if the mother gets a prison sentance.

Amieesmum · 09/02/2011 10:24

Report her. It's disgusting. Is this really the sort of person you want as a friend???

If i were you i'd be calling in social services too. Has money for cocaine but not a crib/cot?!?!?!? Irresponsible just doesn't cut it.

TotemPole · 09/02/2011 10:30

I agree with the other comments that you can't get IS and WTC, it's one or the other.

You could get CTC and HB with either of these.

Maybe she means, HB, CTC, CHB & IS??

Warn her that she could be prosecuted if caught. Personally, I wouldn't report her for fraud. If you genuinely believe the child is being neglected then get the SS involved.

Mouseface · 09/02/2011 10:41

Grin Hully

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 10:44

She will only get WTC for a year she says as she worked then went on Mat leave so she's getting what 'she put into the system'(?)
I don't think she's pretending as she is getting worried and stressed about getting caught.

Hullygully-'Hey why not mind your own fecking beeswax then?'

Is this what you would do?Brush it under the carpet?Cause that's exactly what I'm doing.

Going behind her back feels like a crappy thing to do.

As for people saying she's a bad person as a friend maybe you're right.She seems nice enough on the surface.Also she is clearly too honest with me!I don't know who else she has told about her claiming.

Thanks for the replies so far.

OP posts:
carriedababi · 09/02/2011 10:49

why are you friends with this person???

Takeresponsibility · 09/02/2011 10:55

She won't go to prison because you report her, if she goes to prison (which she won't)it will be because

a.She has commited benefit fraud
b.She is using Class A drugs and
c.She is neglecting her children.

Did you make her do any of those things? No. Then you will not be responsible for the repercussions, she will.

carriedababi · 09/02/2011 10:58

why go behind her back though? why not be up front and tell her what shes doing is wrong and your goiung to report her

or do you have no backbone?

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 10:58

Good question carriedababi-she seemed lovely and friendly when I got to know her last summer.
We both had LO's and stayed at home with them so it seemed like we had some things in common.
I'm new(ish)to this part of the country so my old friends live hours away so I made an effort to make new friends.
It's only recently she's admitted these things to me as she feels she knows me enough.
If I knew this about her before I met her I wouldn't probably spent so much time with her.

OP posts:
Oobis · 09/02/2011 10:59

A phone call to Social Servcies would be in order for the cocaine, drinking and pushchair living, let the professionals pay her a visit and offer some support. They can form their own opinions.

secure.dwp.gov.uk/benefitfraud/ for the benefit fraud.
It's your tax and mine that she's stealing, there is no excuse for fraudulently claiming. The system is there to help people who need it, not to fund cocaine lifestyles and give hundreds of pounds left over each month. If she was shoplifting when shopping with you, would you turn a blind eye then? You certainly wouldn't go shopping with her again I would imagine.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 11:03

Carriebabi-well if I do that then I may aswell give her the chance to tell them herself?She can say her situation has changed etc to them and maybe won't land herself in prison.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 11:09

Forget about the money. I'd be most concerned about the coke and pushchair crap.

Wait till the weekend when you know she's using, then call the police.

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