Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend told me she is committing benefit fraud

108 replies

UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 09:36

I have name changed for this.

Have a friend who I met this summer.She has DD aged 1 and I have 2DS's aged 2 and 6months so we are both SAHM's.

She has recently told me that she has been claiming housing benefit(£800 per month)and working tax credits,child tax credits and Income support.She told me she has 'hundreds'of pounds at the end of every month.

Her OH and father of their child live in the same apartment and works full-time and earns(in her words)lots of money.

The only thing that really worries me is that her DD sleeps in her cheap pushchair at night or sometimes their bed if she wakes in the night.
She has never bought her a crib/moses basket or cot since she has been born.
She also spends her money on cocaine at the weekends.
Anyway she is now getting worried about people watching her and getting caught.
Her partner sometimes finishes work and goes out drinking spending his earnings and she constantly moans about him that she can't stand him etc.
I think she feels that this benefit money is her stability.She also justifies it by saying he could get laid off next week or they could break up so she would have to claim anyway.
It does make me a Angrywhen my OH works his arse off and every penny we have goes on the cost of living with nothing left over.

I don't want this thread to turn into a 'benefit bashing' or an argument just wanted to know how any of you would deal with this?
Would you report her(hate to do that)
or brush it under the carpet or stop seeing her as a friend?

Thankyou for reading.Smile

OP posts:
carriedababi · 09/02/2011 11:10

is it possible shes making it, to make you feel Envy that shes got more money

whe really she hasn't

georgeorwell · 09/02/2011 11:13

Oobis jeez what is wrong with u? more am reading more am convinced this is a setup. oops! look u just HADTO give the site addy to snitch...oh purleese. so if she went to prison who'd look after her kid?? cant believe u lot are falling for this. u lot deserve this vile non rich hating govt...thakn fuk i live abroad

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 11:17

Carrie-no she isn't making it up.I've seen her HB invoices etc in her home(she's not very private as you may gather).

OP posts:
Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 11:19

George-this is no set up.Just wanted advice from others.

OP posts:
omletta · 09/02/2011 11:24

She is a thief ? report her. That?s our taxes (which I for one) work bloody hard to pay.

carriedababi · 09/02/2011 11:43

i think you need to report it really, otherwise your kind involved too really arent you

or the very least tell her your going to if she doesnt stop,perhaps give her the chance to stop doing it herself

ccpccp · 09/02/2011 11:52

You seem to be getting very angry there georgeorwell!

Hope you arent claiming any benefits you arent entitled to when you are abroad. Dont be like the other hands out scroungers we hear about day in day out.

Gov propaganda? More like the reality of life in dishonest Britain today.

OP is probably a troll though.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:01

Ccpccp-'OP is probably a troll though'

Thanks for commentHmm
Why would I make this up?I can promise on my life this is true.

OP posts:
Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:04

Although I shouldn't have to prove myself to you.Don't get anything from lying to people or trying to create a 'benefit argument' etc.
Loke I said on my original post I didn't want to create an argument just wanted to know how others would act in this situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:04

*Like Grin

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 09/02/2011 12:09

Do you really want friends who spend state money they're not entitled to on drugs rather than necessities for their child?

You've got two choices, really:

  1. Report her, or

  2. Wind your neck in.

OTheHugeManatee · 09/02/2011 12:12

Though on reflection if I'm honest, in your position I'd probably feel really uncomfortable about dobbing her in. Though I think fraudulent benefit claims are incredibly immoral, so is betraying people's confidences.

From the standpoint of personal ethics, it's a tricky one.

The child neglect thing is more cut and dried though. No proper cot, parents spending money on drugs instead of necessities for their child - that's sounding like neglect.

kittybuttoon · 09/02/2011 12:12

I'd sit down with her, and help her write a letter to the benefits people, saying 'My OH is moving in, so I no longer wish to claim'..

I would make sure I put the letter in the postbox MYSELF

Then I'd take her on a shopping trip and oversee her buying a cot.

After that, I'd explain that I don't want my child to be around someone who has a coke habit, so what's the most important thing, our friendship or a bit of cocaine?

By doing these three things, you've done all you can, without reporting her. If she doesn't respond positively, she's no longer your mate, and you can report her with a clear conscience if you want.

KnittedBreast · 09/02/2011 12:16

I very much agree with kittybuttoon, this is a helpful positive thing to do, reporting her to anyone will do more harm than good for all concerned.

nannyl · 09/02/2011 12:20

Id report her too

our main news last night was closing libraries, public swimming pool and public toilets, cause council dont have enough money... because budgets are being cat.. BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE FRAUDING THE SYSTEM

report her and dont feel guilty... its OUR taxes that she is steeling

BunnyWunny · 09/02/2011 12:22

Benefit cheating aside, she doesn't sound like the sort of person I would be friends with.

Drugs,
Child neglect,
Benefit fraud,

...

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:22

Thankyou Kittybuttoon and Ohthehuge.
She told me she hasn't got room for a cot in her home so that's another reason I hadn't considered ringing SS.
I don't think she has a habit or is addicted.Although she has it most/nearly all weekends(I can't imagine her doing it infront of her dd)not that this makes it okay btw!
Also Kitty how would you make someone write a letter?Do you think I should tell her I've been reading local newspapers about people getting caught to scare her into writing a letter?

Also as Hullygully told me earlier to mind 'my own fecking business'-that seems like what alot of people would do.
Even my DP told me to not get involved and forget about it.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 12:24

'I'd sit down with her, and help her write a letter to the benefits people, saying 'My OH is moving in, so I no longer wish to claim'..

I would make sure I put the letter in the postbox MYSELF

Then I'd take her on a shopping trip and oversee her buying a cot.

After that, I'd explain that I don't want my child to be around someone who has a coke habit, so what's the most important thing, our friendship or a bit of cocaine?'

She's an adult, not a naughty 14-year-old.

'Oversee' her? No wonder there's so much of a nanny state here!

Either a) report her/call SS/the police b) tell her you're going to report her and see if she shapes up c) shut up about it.

But the OP is not this gal's mother or nanny.

This gal is responsible for herself and her own actions.

She knows goddamn well children need a place to sleep, but she'd rather spend money on blow.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 12:26

'reporting her to anyone will do more harm than good for all concerned.'

That's right, just let her keep spending all the family dosh on blow whilst the kid sleeps in a pushchair. It's the lesser of two evils.

DooinMeCleanin · 09/02/2011 12:27

If she is getting WTC from the last tax year she will not be getting IS it is not possible. All the agencies do checks, especially HB. They check bank statements, they call the IS people, they ask to see your current TC award, they will not pay HB until they have seen this information. You cannot claim IS and WTC at the same time. You just can't.

Her partner can get WTC but not if he is on a high income, she should not be claiming HB as a singe parent if her partner lives with her and/or makes regular financial contributions to the running of the household.

Either you are getting confused or your friend is having you on.

Getting WTC when you are not working is fraud, you need to tell them as soon as you finish work. However you don't get much more than you would on IS alone, taking into account the extra rent etc you have to pay.

You are entitled to WTC when you are on mat leave.

People commit benefit fraud by working cash in hand and claiming IS or by living together but claiming as a single person. You cannot commit fraud by claiming every benefit going. They do too many checks for this to be possible.

And again why are you worried about money when she is neglecting her child? Presuming the child and your friend are real.

Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:35

Doinmecleaning-First of all I am real.
Second of all she is claiming tax credits/Income support/HB.
I've seen invoices etc.She got the tenancy agreement with just her name on so she can pretend she's a single parent.
Her OH lives there and works full-time.

And of course I worry for her child but it's only recently that I knew about cot situation and her taking coke.

She told me that she has no room for a cot so her DD either sleeps in a pushchair or her bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
UsernameChange · 09/02/2011 12:37

Also she cries alot to me and I think she has a slight bout of PND.(Just guessing)
That's why I find it hard to report her to SS or for the fraud.

OP posts:
taintedpaint · 09/02/2011 12:38

I would probably report under these circumstances. It is a crime, and I wonder how many of the people condeming those who would report, are those who are either committing fraud themselves, or who would be willing to do the same. I might let it slide if it was small scale fraud, but she is taking the piss a bit, isn't she? If her circumstances were to change, she claims then, she should never do that in advance.

That said, I think the welfare of the child is more important, and that should be the first thing you deal with. If that means involving SS, then I'm afraid that's what you'll have to do.

On both scores though, I would give her a chance to improve her situation. You don't need to go in with all guns blazing and say "if you don't change, I'm reporting you", but some gentle suggestions about what the circumstances may be if she doesn't change would be a good way to start.

DooinMeCleanin · 09/02/2011 12:38

She will be getting child tax credits then, not working tax credits. Which she is entitled to.

Does her partner make financial contributions to the running of the househhold? If he does then yes she is commiting benefit fraud.

And how in gods name can you have no room for a cot???

You need to phone her HV and tell her what is going on, sod the money, the child is the most important in this matter, not the money. If she genuinely has no room for a cot then SS will help find her suitable housing.

Mouseface · 09/02/2011 12:39

OP - Is she in a one bed house/flat?

I'd have thought that there must be somewhere to put a cot.