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Original poster

Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

382 replies

prettymuchapixiegirl · 08/02/2011 21:35

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

OP posts:
Spinkle · 10/02/2011 16:16

People can't play the competitive mum with me as DS is ASD.

They always expect me to describe his 'special talent' though.

I am so tempted to say 'levitation'...

Bluemary3000 · 10/02/2011 16:21

wicked spinkle, if he does, take a picture and post it. that'll shut them all up!!x

eastegg · 10/02/2011 16:26

I find it funny the way every time my in-laws mention the age at which my niece walked, it gets a bit younger. It's now moved forward by about 2 months. They also seem to think there's some great significance in when they get teeth, always asking about DS's and telling us when DN got hers. I imagine they'll be the same when it comes to losing them. What is it with teeth?

wayoftheworld · 10/02/2011 16:39

Oh my MIL is on all the time about her DD doughter- how she spoke so early and it was so clear ( my DD 2months yonger has speech problems). Shame she cant eat fruit and veg like mine!! Grin Grin Grin

Bogeyface · 10/02/2011 16:42

Eastegg, I was told that there is a connection between early tooth loss and early periods. no idea if it is true, but is worth mentioning the next time the go on about her teeth! :o

LillaB · 10/02/2011 16:42

There are so many competitive mums out there. It is weird what happens to us when we have kids? By saying my son/daughter is brilliant etc at something is like saying "I am brilliant at..." and we would never speak like that. Vicarious boasting. I have a friend who tells me with great delight how her son is brilliant at rugby, but never practises (unlike every other boy in the team) but always gets picked and is the best player.
First day of junior school I get a phone call from another mum asking what level reading book my DD is on! I replied probably the lowest as she's not very good at reading. Best to always play down your kids to others as boasting just p*sses everyone else off!

Bogeyface · 10/02/2011 16:50

I dont remember any glaring ones but an ex friend who I now only speak to if I cant avoid it (!), was very braggy, and still is, about her dd. She is "still blonde" which is apparently something to brag about, and is in with the popular crowd at school. This was mentioned after she said she knew my daughter was being bullied and was having trouble settling in. Thanks for that Hmm

But my mum had a stunner when I was a baby, she still laughs about it now. I crawled at 5 months, walked at something stupid like 7 months and mum found it funny. She says I looked like a little rat running around the carpet as I was a teeny baby! My aunt (my Dads brothers wife) wasnt happy as her dd, a year older than me, still couldnt walk at that point so she eventually suggested to Mum that I might be "retarded". Which mum said was such a ridiculous thing to say that she couldnt think of a thing to say back! Aunt then happily told everyone she must have hit a nerve with my mum and had obviously got it right. Cue much annoyance from my aunt when I was later classed as gifted with an exceptionally high IQ, which of course Mumsy didnt hesitate to tell Aunt all about :o

Aunt is still like that now about her grandchildren, the 3 most irritating kids you have ever met in your entire life! And not the perfect little angels she would have you believe they are!

Ciske · 10/02/2011 18:00

I've never seen as much competitive parenting as in this thread. Wink

And that's fine, we should be proud of our children, as long as it doesn't mean we can't allow other parents to be equally proud of their offspring. All our little monsters are special.

mumbar · 10/02/2011 18:02

Has anyone else started noticing competitive parents more since this thread?

Dropped DS off at school disco tonight and gave his teacher his allergy bag with the measured dose of puriton in - is easier when 100 children to watch. Another parent I only know because our dcs are in the same class said "your DS had allergies?, how do you cope with him having them too?"

I would love to know what the too meant. Hmm Grin

wisteria12 · 10/02/2011 18:10

Yesterday at play group with my very shy DD -

Random woman: "Oh, It's so sweet how your daughter always plays alone. I do worry that my little one will struggle academically what with being so socially advanced. But then again, he has just won the school prize."

Me: "Oh, really? Well, I suppose these things must skip a generation."

Cassandra63 · 10/02/2011 18:27

I couldn't ride a bike until I was nine, mainly because my parents didn't buy me one.

LadyInPink · 10/02/2011 18:34

Great answer wisteria12 Grin

MmeLindt - ah that is funny and so sweet too Smile

StealthPolarBear · 10/02/2011 18:34

just getting on this thread for a chuckle later

MissMarjoribanks · 10/02/2011 19:00

Ohgodohgodohgod.

I have told numerous people that DS eats olives. I didn't mean to be competitive - not that I actually have anything to be competitive about, he is behind in most things. I was just so stunned that he would eat one, particularly given his father's pickiness that I thought others would be too. Obviously not.

Oooops. Blush

TeddyBare · 10/02/2011 19:32

My parents had a few competitive parenting friends. There was a lot of "our dd has her Oxford interview next week" or "our ds is doing 6 A levels because 4 wasn't challenging enough". My mum used to get a bit sucked into this too. I got a scholarship to a boarding school and to stop my mum from bragging, my dad spent ages telling everyone they knew that actually I was in a youth offenders institute. He spent ages mock boasting about how proud they were about my progress there, getting off of drugs and things.

wayoftheworld · 10/02/2011 19:34

Miss you should be proud of your kid - I would if mine ate olives- but is the putting down of other kids so that yours seem better that is wrong. Any half sensible parent would know that their kids are gifted at smth and totally daft at others. Win some lose some....

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 10/02/2011 19:34

Grin at Miggsie & LeQueen boasting about their gifted children on a thread about competitive parents.

LeQueen maybe your daughter could correct your use of the word 'ignomy' (I assume you meant ignominy), since she's so incredibly clever?

MmeLindt · 10/02/2011 19:36

Wisteria
Brilliant answer

MrsM
Don't worry about it. As long as you haven't said, "Gosh, your DD is a picky eater. I am so lucky that DS eats so well, even olives"

It is not the boasting, but the comparing.

wonderstuff · 10/02/2011 19:37

Bogeyface I had first teeth at 12 weeks, lost my first tooth very early, well before primary school. No early periods (thank god) but lots and lots of orthodontic work as my adult teeth tried to cram into my small child mouth - I will be so pleased if my children lose there teeth late.
MissMarjoribanks really I wouldn't worry - is nice to be proud/pleased with children just not nice to make others feel bad - which I'm sure you didn't.
'My ds loves olives Smile'= great
'Really, your ds won't eat anything but pasta and yogurt?, oh ds eats everything, he adores olives Grin'= twat
y'get me?

wonderstuff · 10/02/2011 19:38

x post

mumbar · 10/02/2011 19:39

Yes mrsM thats just stating fact or suprise over fact.
FWIW my DS ate them too until he discovered he didn't like them - bit Blush though when offered them by people I'd told he ate them too Grin

StellaRose11 · 10/02/2011 19:48

Gee.. I'm so glad I haven't got any mum friends.

MissMarjoribanks · 10/02/2011 19:49

Phew! I think I'm OK.

Saying he eats olives is in the context of someone seeing him eating well and saying how proud I must be 'Yes, given DH won't eat anything and he even eats olives' or simply answering truthfully if people ask how well he eats, 'Very well thanks, DH picky blah blah olives blah blah' just so I'm adding a bit more than just a yes.

wonderstuff · 10/02/2011 19:58

Actually, thinking about it, my twat example isn't really a true twat comment. To be a true twat you would say
'Oh really your ds only eats yogurt? We did such a fantastic job weaning our little darling he eats everything, even olives! All down to my amazing cooking I think'

breatheslowly · 10/02/2011 20:28

I keep asking my mother whether she thinks DD is brighter than the dog yet. I am not sure if this counts as competitive parenting.