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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to Prom night for Year 6'ers

55 replies

Loonytoonie · 08/02/2011 15:46

DD and DS, 8 and 6, attend a large primary school in a nearby town. Yesterday, when picking them up, I heard a large groups of Mum's on the yard discussing the possibility of having a 'Prom' night for leavers in July. I heard limo's and ball dressed getting a mention. I really don't want this for my kids - they grow up far too quickly already. DH suggests (since I raged so much about it last night lol) that I go and see the Head to discuss it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Newgolddream · 08/02/2011 15:52

No, god no. There was a programme here on BBC Scotland a few months ago that showed up the true horror and competetiveness of this, filmed at 2 primary schools, it was all there - dresses worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds, wee girls going in a horse driven cart, thnak goodness the parents who wanted to hire a helicopter didnt get their wish.

Im as guilty as the next parent of not wanting my son left out - and spent £100 hiring him a kilt for his prom last year, but he is 17, not a wee kid.

Original poster
Loonytoonie · 08/02/2011 15:53

I'm quite shy on the yard and am often on the outskirts of the larger Mum groups (I don't mind) but I feel so strongly about this. Am prepared to speak up.....

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 08/02/2011 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 08/02/2011 16:00

Our primary has a Leavers' Disco which is great. However, last year some of the 'cool girls' arrived in a stretch limo looking like Cheryl Cole clones Hmm. They strutted past the boys who just turned their backs and ignored them. Grin

there will always be mums (usually girl mums) who think this is all fab, but there will also be plenty like you who hate the idea. And plenty of girls who don't like this either.

the very thought of a prom even for sec school leavers fills me with horror tbh

DandyDan · 08/02/2011 16:04

This was mooted by some mums at our local school. The head made it clear that the school did not support such an event; that if the mum wanted to organise one herself as a private party, she was entirely free to do so. In the end it didn't go ahead as there was insufficient interest.

Very likely the school will run its own Leavers Disco or something fairly low-key and if restricted to Year 6's, very likely during the school day unless it's a huge school.

PonceyMcPonce · 08/02/2011 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreconBeBuggered · 08/02/2011 16:08

Ew, yes, our summer primary school disco is usually discussed as a 'prom' night, but as I do the posters and letters home I manage to avoid using the dreaded 'p' word (call me power crazy). If anyone wants to dress their Y6 DC up for photos, fine, but it's a school disco with all the noise and mayhem that implies.

BeerTricksPotter · 08/02/2011 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sanesometimes1 · 08/02/2011 16:27

It is all getting just OTT isn't it - puts too much pressure on kids and their parents, but It's something that will never change - I remember book day at my dd school, most just did the dress up with whatever you had at home sort of thing but there were a few that took it just that one step further and hired "theatrical" costumes, yes they did look good admitidlly and the kids tht wore them felt great etc etc, but what can you do !????

GandTiceandaslice · 08/02/2011 16:28

I have a meeting on Friday for ours.
It's a glorified fucking disco.
Already on FB some parents are talking about expensive cars & "hummers" (what?!)
Stupid bastards.
My dd is just happy to go as I will let her wear a small heel!

newpup · 08/02/2011 17:31

Last year when DD1 was in Year 6 some mothers talked about a promShock

However, the majority of us just felt it was unecessary and over the top. We settled for a one hour limo ride at a cost of £20 per child and we booked a local animal park for 2 hours. That cost £20 per family. It was a lovely evening and we all provided food and drink and it was a perfect send off. Much better than a prom as we all got to go as families. The children had a great time and the current Year 6 parents are booking it again for their children Grin

ashamedandconfused · 08/02/2011 17:52

lots of the local primaries here do it

bleurgh though (and DD is in Y6 this yr)

OhYouBadBadKitten · 08/02/2011 18:11

revolting and tacky.
Mind you I still see Prom night as being an American thing.

Bogeyface · 08/02/2011 18:19

We get the Leavers assembly here and thats it!

Knowing our headmistress, I think anyone who mention the P word would get short shrift!

I am dreading DD's prom when she leaves secondary school as it is, as that has turned into "Competitive Parenting 101". They are only in year 9 and already there have been mumurs about it Hmm

QuestionNumber · 08/02/2011 18:26

YANBU. What's wrong with a simple party?

Mists · 08/02/2011 18:35

YANBU Angry

Completely unreasonable especially for girls wanting (as my DD does) a dress she will wear once before it is outgrown, and shoes (ditto). Nails and make-up done (no chance) or a limo (ha haaaaaaaa!)

And all this in the summer term when you will be forking out for a complete set of new school uniform for secondary.

DD's birthday is in June luckily and if she wants prom stuff she will have to accept that she'll have nothing to open on the day.

Original poster
Loonytoonie · 08/02/2011 18:46

Thanks for everyone's feedback and apologies for going AWOL after starting this thread - had a call from DH who'd locked his keys in his car, 60 mile round trip Angry

I'm not sure I'm worrying about nothing PonceyMcPonce, if the idea is supported by enough daft Mum's then it has the potential of becoming the norm by the time my kiddies reach leaving age - how difficult it will be then to be the 'unreasonable Mum' who doesn't let her kids join in? And I don't expect for a second that there'll be booze, but that's not my point really. I simply hate the American influence and the urgent need for our kids to do grown up things - limo's and ball gowns, fake-tan, make-up and expensive hair-do's.

At 11 years of age, I just remember crying my eyes out leaving primary, taking my gift of a dictionary with me (still have it) and definitely not thinking about what ball dress and make up to wear......

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/02/2011 18:56

YANBU at all. You do not have to take part if you dont want to, I would'nt tbh. I thought a prom was for 16 year olds, after GCSES leaving school and going to 6th form or college, not little children. In the STates a prom usually marks the end of High School and the move to College or a job.

Wormshuffler · 08/02/2011 19:07

We had one last year at my DD's school, she had the best time! There was only one group who hired a limo between 6 of them everyone else was just made their own way. We had a band too, who were old kids who used to be at the school. The kids all did their own fund raising for it including planting a vegetable patch and selling the proceeds. I don't really understand why calling it a prom means they are growing up too fast.....

I think it is brillieant they they all had a party together, it gave them all something to look forward too at the end of a really tough year with SATS and half of them taking grammer school exams.

You don't have to dress in expensive dresses,, in fact my DD wore one of my dresses (im am small) and she was absolutely delighted that she wone the prom queen after never ever being picked for so much as a speaking part in any play for the whole 7 years at the school.

JamieLeeCurtis · 08/02/2011 19:10

YANBU

Would go down like a lead balloon with my DS and most of his friends.

emmab5 · 08/02/2011 19:10

I've just canvassed my year 6 DD's opinion on this (at her school there is a leavers disco in school hall). She was horrified at the idea of having a prom instead and said that she wouldn't go - enough said :o

SandStorm · 08/02/2011 19:11

Our year sixes have a picnic in the park. Seems very simple but they love it. And yes, there may be the odd water fight but THEY'RE CHILDREN!

emmab5 · 08/02/2011 19:15

Sandstorm - I love the idea of a picnic in the park, I think i'll suggest that at our next PTA meeting :)

GloriaSmut · 08/02/2011 19:18

YANBU.

I detest this ridiculous American, prom nonsense. Thank fuck that my dcs missed it by a whisker! That's not to say they missed out on a Leaver's Party in both primary and secondary school but the lunacy that is stretched limousines and hundreds of pounds on prom frocks was yet to come. As was the utterly bizarre concept of a "Prom Queen".

So while I think it is great to have a leaving disco/party/outing I really don't like the idea of a primary "prom". It sends all the wrong messages and you can be certain that some children will turn up dressed like self-tanned dog's dinners.

Hatesponge · 08/02/2011 19:20

DS1 (now Y8) had a leaver's party at the end of y6 organised by some of the parents, held at a local church hall. Pretty much the entire year (nearly 60 children) went, all had a brilliant time, cost about £5 a head to cover the hire of the hall, a disco, decorations and refreshments.

DS2 is currently in Y5. Plans have already been discussed to have a full on prom. Limos, tuxs/ballgowns, the works. Tickets c £50 a head.

Which I think is all well and good, but what about people who can't afford that? (they're aren't many, its that sort of area, but still it just seems sad if any of them miss out through cost). Even though I could afford for DS2 to go, if I'm honest I'd prefer him just to have a disco-type thing like DS1, and us spend the money as a family on something else.

therefore OP, YANBU :)