Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to Prom night for Year 6'ers

55 replies

Loonytoonie · 08/02/2011 15:46

DD and DS, 8 and 6, attend a large primary school in a nearby town. Yesterday, when picking them up, I heard a large groups of Mum's on the yard discussing the possibility of having a 'Prom' night for leavers in July. I heard limo's and ball dressed getting a mention. I really don't want this for my kids - they grow up far too quickly already. DH suggests (since I raged so much about it last night lol) that I go and see the Head to discuss it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Wormshuffler · 08/02/2011 19:26

£50 per head!!! that ridiculous!!!!! ours was funded entirely by the kids own fund raising, and was in the school hall. I wouldn't pay more that £5 personally

socka · 08/02/2011 19:31

What's the point of having a 'right of passage' event numerous times in your life. It's like marrying every boyfriend you have. Have a school disco, fine. Have a prom at the end of year 11, fine. But not a specific prom for 11 year olds.
Especially when proms as us Brits know them come from films where getting laid on prom night seems the aim of the event.

IN year 11 DD had a leavers dance in the school hall, everyone looked nice and dressed up. 3 years later DS had one which was 4x as much, fancy venue, full of spray tanned girls with £300 shoes. Crazy

Original poster
Loonytoonie · 08/02/2011 20:16

I've just come off the phone from the parent Governer of the school and she's equally mortified of any suggestions of a prom. She's confident that our Head will disagree with it but admittedly, the PTA/pro-prom Mums will be able to do what they like outside of school. I can see a few raised eyebrows in months/years to come when I voice my opinions - I know for a fact that the Prom thing will gain support from Mum's in my children's class - but at least I'll have the confidence to object. This whole thing has fired me up big time - I work with Secondary school kids and appreciate more than ever the sanctity of innocence. I want to keep my children as 'children' for as long as possible.

OP posts:
brass · 08/02/2011 20:18

YANBU

we have graduation from reception, year books and proms. I knew they had them at the end of secondary school hiring limos etc but at 11 is just ridiculous.

I hate the Americanisation of our schools right down to SATs. Growing up hearing these terms in American films and now they are a reality for my children. YUK.

As you say the generic theme is who asks who out and who gets laid.

JamieLeeCurtis · 08/02/2011 20:20

As Mr Incredible says: "it's just a way to celebrate mediocrity"

bulby · 08/02/2011 20:25

Can't they leave anything for the older kids? YANBU it's tacky and horrible. Why can't they just have a school disco or something?

5Foot5 · 08/02/2011 20:27

Fine for Year 11 or Year 13 but way OTT for Year 6 and the majority probably wouldn't enjoy it all that much anyway.

DDs school had a Year 6 disco in the school. There wasn't a DJ or anything, just teachers putting on music the kids all knew and liked and everyone encouraged to join in and do actions etc.

It wasn't a cool affair but they all had a great time (not just the precocious 11 going on 18 year old princesses) and came home very hot and sweaty.

Mumsnut · 08/02/2011 20:27

I lived in the States for years, and Proms were infinitely less Cheryl Cole-y than the UK version, at least where we lived. Much less emphasis on professional nails, hair, etc. All the girls hoped for a nice dress, but didn't expect to have hundreds spent on it.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 08/02/2011 20:28

Jeepers..we were sent off with a bag of sweets and a pat on the head!

LionessLady · 08/02/2011 20:30

My DD has a prom this year, but she's in Sixth Year (last year of school in Scotland), they're all 17 or 18, are about to go off to university in different places, so I don't really object. Though I would rather it was called a Leavers' Ceilidh (which it is) rather than prom, but that's just me being old fashioned.

For them to be going on in primary school is a bit Hmm. They'll all be in secondary school together, a leaver's do is fine, but not something costing £££!

weblette · 08/02/2011 20:34

Our Yr6 girls regularly have discos with Yr6 boys at the local prep school, dolling up would be the last thing this lot have on their minds - at the last one they out-grunged the boys when it cam to fashion Grin

We're planning a limo ride then a meal out. A couple of weeks before we're going to have a camping night too.

Lioness - don't they call it the qually any more? :)

Hatesponge · 08/02/2011 20:44

thinking back the closest thing we had to a prom was the 6th form ball. this was for Lower and Upper Sixth. Held in the school hall, music courtesy of the Music and Drama teachers - and heavily policed by nuns (Catholic girls school) to ensure that the 10-15 boys in attendance(either brothers or boyfriends of 6th formers) were behaving themselves!

Those were the days Grin

MrsDeidreIppy · 08/02/2011 20:48

To be honest I think 'Proms' are often just glorified Discos. In which case theres nothing particularly wrong with them, though they shouldn't be costing £50. IMO its safer to just call it a Disco/Party to discourage people from getting carried away and going OTT. Its important to have some way have marking the end of Primary school but its not as important as the end of Secondary school/ Sixth form/college.

herbietea · 08/02/2011 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Underachieving · 08/02/2011 20:54

I've only read the OP (naughty me) but I detest ever younger prom nights too. Children are just not allowed to grow up anymore, they are expected to be adults at an increasingly young age and if my daughters school was having a prom (also year 6) then I'd be objecting to it too.

waxlyrical · 08/02/2011 21:03

Why do we have to have all this over commercialised American stuff foist upon us? What is wrong with a simple PTA disco?

Where I live they have a "prom" when they leave middle school at 14 to move, with all their friends, to the upper school across the road - madness!

Mists · 08/02/2011 21:06

It is fecking ridiculous compared to a nice little school disco. What do the children get out of it FFS?

They can wear their own weekend clothes at a disco and relax and enjoy themselves. My DD likes going to those events but she is already wanting to sacrifice all her birthday presents for this one two-hour "prom".

whiteflame · 08/02/2011 22:44

while i agree that it's silly to go all out on a prom, especially for year 6, do I understand it correctly that your children are not in year 6? if they are not, then YABU. you get a say in what the yr6 leaver's do is when you have a child in that year.

whiteflame · 08/02/2011 22:45

and also, what's with the anti-american sentiments? i have never come across an american school having a prom for yr6!!

Underachieving · 08/02/2011 22:49

If the OP waits until it's her childrens turn for this prom though it'll be an established norm. I'd rather stamp it out before the fire ignites myself.

mumeeee · 08/02/2011 22:51

YANBU. Year 6 children don't need proms. When my DD's were at primary school there were barbecues and special days out at the end of year 6.

whiteflame · 08/02/2011 22:56

but underachieving, imagine that the OPs DD/DS is now in yr 6, and they have organised a leaver's picnic. A mum with a child in yr 3 comes in and says 'that is ridiculous, i want a prom instead'. surely everyone would just think 'well suggest it in your year then'.

muminthemiddle · 08/02/2011 23:04

I agree with you op. The whole prom image makes me shudder.
Remembers the film Carrie and look what happened there...........

brass · 09/02/2011 10:10

we'll be having Thanksgiving assemblies next Hmm

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 09/02/2011 10:54

YABU.

Proms are surely nothing but slightly glorified leavers' discos. Sounds like a fun way to mark the end of primary - which actually I think is a big deal.

Can't be doing with all this blinking asceticism tbh.