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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think dieting in your late 60's is pretty futile?

96 replies

Udderly · 06/02/2011 00:59

MIL recently went on a diet as she felt she had put on weight. She's not a big lady by any means, I'd say a size 10, maybe 12.
She did it, lost her weight and obviously must have been happy with the outcome.
When DH told me, I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of someone at that stage of life feeling the need to diet. To put it in context, I love my food, only ever dieted once for my wedding and hated every minute of it.
AIBU to think this is strange behaviour? Concern about my figure certainly won't be up there on my list of priorities when I'm hitting 70.

OP posts:

MarshaBrady · 06/02/2011 12:01

It's not true for me that I have to have a 'joyless' attitude to food or eat very little to be slim. Same with my mother and gm. Same genes. So they did and do care how they looked at 70 and still loved food.

So it is not either or for every woman. And it is nice that I still laugh and have fun re buying nice stuff with my mother. I don't see why she should stop caring.

But I assume 'dieting' is different for everyone. I just have to avoid crap food.

OhForBoonessSake · 06/02/2011 12:01

she enjoys dieting. who are you to say how she should enjoy her life at 6, 16 or 60?

i wonder if you will feel, at 60, liek your life is over and you might aswell just let everything happen to you rather than you taking any control over it? will you have resigned yourself to spending your last 20/30 years sitting on your rocking chair and being grateful for all those caring for you or will you want to hold on to your independance and look after you body just as much as when you were 30?

EditedforClarity · 06/02/2011 12:04

'At thar stage I would like to be enjoying life How does losing a bit of weight stop you from enjoying your life?'

Yes to this and pretty much everything else that mutz has said.

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2011 12:14

If you are certain it is not at all related to health benefits and is only about vanity...

Why do you think 60 year olds are less likely to be vain than anyone else?

xstitch · 06/02/2011 12:17

I would have thought that healthy eating would become more important the older you get. As long as she is eating and not starving herself I really can't see the problem.

KurriKurri · 06/02/2011 12:37

I think you should stop getting your knickers in a twist over what your MIL does and mind your own business. Good God

Ephiny · 06/02/2011 12:44

I don't really understand the point about having 'earned the right not to diet'. Are you saying that younger women don't have that right and should be obliged to go on diets? .

You can keep your weight down without being 'joyless' or giving up the things you enjoy. I like food too and don't deprive myself of anything I want - I just have it in small/moderate portions, that way you still get the taste and the pleasure without getting fat. It's mindlessly stuffing yourself full of food you don't need or truly want that seems joyless to me (and I say this from experience).

megapixels · 06/02/2011 12:53

The "earned the right not to diet" is quite telling about the OP's attitude to food. It suggests that dieting and being thin is a social requirement and not what you do for yourself. So once you're a little old lady you can just be yourself because no one cares about how you look anymore.

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 12:54

My take on the OP's point (from what I've read) is that she perhaps struggles to stay in shape and is looking forward to a time in her life, where she can simply stop...and just eat what she wants because no-one will want to look at an 'old' person.

Life is a funny thing...and for all any of us know, we could be widowed/divorced in our 'old age' and back on the dating scene.

My Mum died nearly 9yrs ago and my 79 year old Dad has just got himself a lovely girlfriend who is 75yrs. Both of them look great and are enjoying their new found friendship/relationship.

No-one knows what's round the corner

KerryMumbles · 06/02/2011 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumaam · 06/02/2011 13:03

being on a 'diet' does not mean eating lettuce or rice cakes for ever

you can be a foodie and lose weight

i've been doing slimming world for a while now, i eat lots of good , delicious food, i can still go out to restaurants and eat, I can have wine , but moderation ! and balance are the key... it is something i can see myself following long term.

60 odd is not old. being in tune with your body ,eating well and taking care of yourself is an ageless thing surely

one of my prime motivations for losing weight was getting to 35, and realising, that i would find it even harder to lose weight when older and that i needed to do something before my health was compromised

i don't feel like i am missing out, or doing myself a disservice.. buying new, smaller clothes is lovely, i imagine it would still be lvoely at 60 odd

Original poster

Udderly · 06/02/2011 13:17

Onetoomanycornettos probably put it a lot better than I have andI think understands where I am coming from in this. I'm a little at the poster who thinks size 10-12 is not that small. I'm in my 30's and I think I have a healthy relationship with food - I eat healthily and try to get out for some exercise during the week. I don't count calories or points or obsess about what I eat. My own mother never dieted and this has probably informed my view on this.

OP posts:

Lulumaam · 06/02/2011 13:21

do you think your MIL is obsessed and restricting herself and taking the enjoyment out of her life ?

MarshaBrady · 06/02/2011 13:29

Lots of people change their eating habits and call it a diet. But are just doing what you are doing, ie eating healthily.

Onetoomanycornettos · 06/02/2011 14:31

I don't think it's about 'giving up' in any way, I saw it more as the OP thinking about accepting herself at that age, the odd wobbly thigh or not. Both my mum and grandmothers (both of them too!) have started relationships later in life, look after themselves and look pretty darn good for their ages, but they have the figures of 60-90 year olds and I'm not sure that's such a bad thing.

It's also far from clear that dropping a dress size when nearly seventy is all about image either, as it can often age your face.

I don't personally give a monkey's about whether one individual 60 year old goes on a diet, but I do think critically about why being thin and losing weight has become such a big deal in our society and whether I am interested in bothering with it myself these days as I age. All my friends are reporting it harder and harder (over 40) to stay the same size, and even harder to drop a significant amount of weight, and we have discussed how much time and energy we wish to spend on these activities given all the other myriad of interesting activities for women out there.

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 15:39

But 10-12 is not that small for some people. If I were a size 12...at 5ft 3" and with my frame, I would look overweight.

Also you say I don't count calories or points or obsess about what I eat...yet you say in your OP that you went on a diet for your wedding. Therefore, you must see some people's need to diet when they feel it's required.

Or is dieting only ok when you think it's required?

mumeeee · 06/02/2011 18:23

YABU. You need to keep healthy whatever age you are and if your MIL felt she should diet then good for her.

A1980 · 06/02/2011 20:49

YABVVVU

One of my neighbours developed health problems and needed surgery. She was in her 60's, and very over weight. They told her they would not even consider surgery unless she lost at least 2 stone in weight. She did it and she looks so much healthier.

Even if it isn't for health reasons why can't a 60+ y.o. take pride in their appearance.

pranma · 06/02/2011 20:55

Excuse me....I am 66 nearly 67 and over the last year I have lost just over 3 stones.As a result I feel better,can walk further and feel good about myself though still a bit overweight.You dont stop caring when you hit 65 you know.I put on loads of weight during and after my cancer treatment [2006/7]and it has taken me till now to feel that there is a chance that I might live long enough to enjoy being slimmer.Each to her own I say.

KurriKurri · 06/02/2011 21:25

Well done Pranma - that is brilliant (and gives me hope I can lose some of my treatment weight ) - how are you doing these days? - keeping well I hope

whatagradeA · 06/02/2011 21:28

Haven't read the whole thread but my GMIL has arthritis and I know she feels much worse when she gains weight as it puts more strain on her joints. She is 80, so if she'd given up watching what she ate 10 or 20 years ago, she'd be in a terrible state now.

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