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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think dieting in your late 60's is pretty futile?

96 replies

Udderly · 06/02/2011 00:59

MIL recently went on a diet as she felt she had put on weight. She's not a big lady by any means, I'd say a size 10, maybe 12.
She did it, lost her weight and obviously must have been happy with the outcome.
When DH told me, I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of someone at that stage of life feeling the need to diet. To put it in context, I love my food, only ever dieted once for my wedding and hated every minute of it.
AIBU to think this is strange behaviour? Concern about my figure certainly won't be up there on my list of priorities when I'm hitting 70.

OP posts:

Original poster

Udderly · 06/02/2011 11:13

Thanks for all your views, but nothing has really swayed me. At thar stage I would like to be enjoying life. As I said, I'm a big foodie, I enjoy food, and nothing would convince me to diet at that age. I have never come across a woman that age dieting before except for medical reasons. I think by then you have earned the right not to have to diet. If she were training to run a 5k, or doing a sky dive, or taking up a new skill or hobby, a college course, I would applaud her. But dieting? Nah, life's too short!

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 06/02/2011 11:15

back to my original question OP.
How old are you?

pigletmania · 06/02/2011 11:20

Well dont place your feelings about food and dieting onto your MIL is up to her, she is an adult. If she wants to wants to loose a little weight in a healthy way, to boost her confidence and make herself feel good than who are you to get in the way. So you feel that when you get older you should eat what you want, put on lots of weight as whats the point you are getting old and going to die anyway . Surely those people who have less health problems in old age are those who do follow a healthy diet and exercise, though not always. My auntie who is 74, she takes care of herself, swims, runs 5k a day, looks after her grandchildren, still extermely cognis mentis to drive and looks bloody good for her age.

megapixels · 06/02/2011 11:21

I think you sound rather that your aging MIL looks nice and takes care of yourself, so you don't like it because you don't think you'll look that good at her age. [sly smile]

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/02/2011 11:22

Well life is certainly short in your world as it's appears to be over once you hit 60. What a bizarre, childish outlook you have.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/02/2011 11:23

I also think this sounds like your disclaimer so that when you do get to that age and look rough as a bear's arse, you can come back and point out that you told everyone you were going to let yourself go.

MarshaBrady · 06/02/2011 11:24

I find the thought of not being allowed the luxury of caring how one looks, or dieting at any age, quite depressing.

Thing is I bet I don't feel much that different inside at 70 than I did at 25. Obviously look older, but still I want to feel good.

BaggedandTagged · 06/02/2011 11:25

I remember thinking "when I'm 40 I'm going to let it all hang out because then I'll be, like, so old, way too old to care what I look like"

Now I'm 35 I'm thinking about delaying my decline into slobdom a few more years decades.

My dad is in his mid-sixties- still cycles 2 hrs a day and is really buff for his age. He definitely watches his weight- not radical dieting but if his trousers get tight he cuts out wine and cheese for a few weeks. I think it's good he's still in good nick. My mum is similar- still slim and does a lot of sport. They could love another 20 years- may as well be in good physical shape to enjoy it.

BaggedandTagged · 06/02/2011 11:26

oops- should have been "live another 20 years"- in no way was my post meant to be a commentary on my parent's love lives

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 11:27

At thar stage I would like to be enjoying life How does losing a bit of weight stop you from enjoying your life?

For all you know she could be enjoying a very healthy sex life and loving every minute of her new figure.

I think you have a very strange take on old age.

BrandyAlexander · 06/02/2011 11:29

Is she supposed to wither away now she's "old"? Good on her I say! And by the way OP, you can big a foodie and watch your weight simply by enjoying the food in appropriately sized portions.

Goblinchild · 06/02/2011 11:30

Here's hoping being a foodie hits her in the arse when she's turned 40.

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 11:43

Reading between the lines I'd say it already has...

BrandyAlexander · 06/02/2011 11:44

@ mutznutz:

Goblinchild · 06/02/2011 11:44

I think she sounds under 30, so either she is, or she's deluding herself.

FabbyChic · 06/02/2011 11:46

I think it shows consideration that she still cares about her appearance. Being overweight at an elderly age is not good for the heart.

If I was fat at 60 I'd diet.

Im 46 I might be considered old but I don't feel it, you never get old inside.

FabbyChic · 06/02/2011 11:48

You fail to realise she still has what could be 20 years left. Far better to be fit and active than a fat slob who if they get sick cannot have an operation due to risk factors because of their weight.

JamieLeeCurtis · 06/02/2011 11:51

The thing is, OP - I have also never "dieted" as such, a nivice says, I'm a foodie who just tries to be moderate but I have seen that, post -menopause many women cannot carry on with the same diet/exercise habits and stay the same weight. They (we) have to make a more concerted effort, which might appear a bit "joyless" to you - but for her the alternative is worse

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 11:52

Health aside...some older people look amazing. Honor Blackman for example is more attractive than a lot of the younger women you see falling out of nightclubs, subjecting everyone to a flash of their muffin tops.

Nanny0gg · 06/02/2011 11:53

"Thanks for all your views, but nothing has really swayed me. At thar stage I would like to be enjoying life. As I said, I'm a big foodie, I enjoy food, and nothing would convince me to diet at that age. I have never come across a woman that age dieting before except for medical reasons. I think by then you have earned the right not to have to diet. If she were training to run a 5k, or doing a sky dive, or taking up a new skill or hobby, a college course, I would applaud her. But dieting? Nah, life's too short!"
I intend to care about my health, my appearance and my wardrobe until I drop. And if I think that I don't look as I would like to in my clothes then I will diet.
At what age do you think you should stop?

ZZZenAgain · 06/02/2011 11:54

well I think yes YABU. there is really no need to put on much weight through adulthood and I suppose (although I could do with practising what I preach) that keeping an eye on your weight and tackling it when the problem of weight increase is small is probably the way to go

pigletmania · 06/02/2011 11:55

Op letting oneself go in old age and just gorging on food might be somebodies idea of hell, just because you like doing that, does not mean your MIL will. You can still be a foodie, and enjoy life, but take care of yourself too. Does not mean you cannot do one without the other. Like someone said she could be having fantastic sex and want to look gorgeous for her other half.

Onetoomanycornettos · 06/02/2011 11:55

I don't think this is about health, why all this talk of 'fat slobs' when the OP clearly states the MIL was a size 10, possibly a 12. Being a 12 and relaxing about food is quite a valid choice, in my opinion, and I won't personally be dieting to be a size 10 or below at that age, because I've realised (being slightly older) that weight is harder and harder to lose, and if you want to be properly thin and trim at 60-70, you would have to eat very little indeed. Horrid.

If you read the diet boards, there are plenty of women whose lives have been made a misery by constantly dieting, to little overall success. I don't agree that looking after your looks or weight is a 'luxury', it is a cultural pressure, one I also succumb to, but I think it's good to question this slavery to thinness at the cost of other things, such as pleasure in food, pleasure in other activities. And let's face it, the vast majority of us at 65 will be over a size 10 (probably 90%!), so we'd better learn to accept it (or diet/exercise if that makes us happy).

BrandyAlexander · 06/02/2011 11:57

Honor Blackman.....only word to descrive that woman is stunning.

JameLeeCurtis, I think what you said articulates well why my MIL (who is in her 60s) still diets. She is and always has been a beautiful woman. She is a size 10 but loves her treats and these days they go on the hips a bit too easily so she diets occasionally. For her the alternative of being "fat" would just make her very unhappy.

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 11:59

Oh why do people always mention 'pressure' and 'conforming' when someone wants to look their best?

Just because some people do it (or want to do it but fail) because of 'pressure' doesn't mean everyone does.

Personally, when I look good...I feel good too. And to say and if you want to be properly thin and trim at 60-70, you would have to eat very little indeed. Horrid....depends totally on the individual.

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