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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know what to think of Mediums

116 replies

Skeptical · 03/02/2011 15:51

DH comes from a family of mediums and I don't quite know what to make of it!

When I met DH and found out about it I was a bit but I fell in love with him anyway. We have since married and had a baby together. DH is pretty low key about the whole thing but his Father, Sister and Brother are all mediums too.

My thoughts on Mediums have always been that either they are lying, deluded or maybe, possibly telling the truth (but have never really believed IYKWIM).

I think DFIL is both deluded and a massive attention seeker so he fits into my previous thoughts on mediums. However I adore DH, have massive respect for DSIL and I know that my DBIL hates the whole scene but claims that "they" won't leave him alone and is desperate to make them go away!

My mind boggles about the whole thing and they are convinces that it is really happening to them. Is it? I don't know!!

AIBU to be a bit about this part of my DH's life?

OP posts:

SilveryMoon · 03/02/2011 19:39

I have recently become interested in this sort of stuff.
I work with a women who is a spiritualist, healer and medium.
She has spoken to me (on my request) about auras, energy and spiritual messages.
I attended a spiritualist church last weekend, and although I am unsure of what I actually think, I was shocked and amazed at thigs that happened to me whilst I was there.
We started off with a bit of gentle meditation. I struggled with that a bit as I'm not good at relaxing, but later there was a bit where we were all to connect to the spiritual world and share what we were being told.
Throughour meditation, we were apparently all 'zoned in' to it or whatever, and a name popped into my head. Trevor. I looked around the room (there were abot 20 people there) and I was instantly drawn to one women. Looking at her, the name Terry came into my head. i shared this and she said she knew who I was talking about.
I told her i didn't really know what was happening, I couldn't see anything or sense anything, but these names were being said in my head so strong.
The leader asked me to sit back and ask why I was being told these names.
I closed my eyes, asked and was shown lots of fish.
The women I was thining of is fascinated with fish, has lots and is also a pieces.
I then started thinking of a figure/energy that was with her and discribed what I was thinking.
At the time, I thought, well I'm just saying anything, until this women said "That's my mum. What is she telling you?"
Me: "don't know. nothing"
I am a bit OMG about it all and not sure what to think but I am going to return and se3e what happens.

proton · 03/02/2011 19:46

silverymoon - that sounds exciting to me. my mum recently confided in me that the last year or so my sister has been training to become a medium. i don't quite get that tbh as i would have thought that it would be a gift you are born with and somehow in know my sister i can't quite imagine her being open minded enough to be able to be one, i can't take it seriously. on the other hand, i find it a comfort to think that there actually might be something else going on. after supper i will tell you about my parents staying in a haunted hotel in the uk...

bettybosseye · 03/02/2011 19:47

Think crock of shit. infact don't, think lucrative crock of shit and get yourself a ouji board. There's enough morons out there that "believe", you'll be quids in.

SilveryMoon · 03/02/2011 19:48

Ooooohhhhhh proton look forward to it.

My friend says she was taught. he tells me that he senses I am very perceptive to it all (but then again my mum has a 'sense' for all things weird), and that I just need to learn how to open myself to it, and then how to close down and protect myself or something...........
I don't know.
I have in the past had other bits that have happened, but not sure what to make of that either.

crisptart · 03/02/2011 19:59

ooh I dunno, I think that's a hard one to answer, I think like anything, there are a lot of fakes and phoneys out there, but I do think there are some genuine ones out there who really do 'see' stuff.
Just because we don't 'see' it too, does that mean it doesn't exist?

TurkeyBurgerThing · 03/02/2011 20:00

deluded AND lying.

I can't believe it's actually still legal for "mediums" to rip people off so blatantly.

CalamityKate · 03/02/2011 20:05

Hear hear TurkeyBurgerThing.

I don't understand why anyone can possibly stick up for mediums when the likes of Derren Brown can give INCREDIBLY accurate readings even though he freely admits he's not psychic.

Why is it that when you hear all these anecdotes, the evidence is AMAZING and yet when you remove the opportunity for these people to cheat and test them PROPERLY, all you get is the same old "I'm getting a D sound... or it could be an E... or it could be C... or he could be saying he likes a cup of tea... or he was stung by a bee..." etc etc.

VictorianIce · 03/02/2011 20:24

Google 'cold reading'.

Maud2011 · 03/02/2011 20:32

Hmmmmm, I haven't read all the replies as I don't want to be influenced by what previous posters think... but I don't think it's unreasonable not to have made your mind up about something. And in the circumstances with your OH coming from a family of 'mediums' there's a certain incentive there not simply to come down on the "they're all charlatans" side.

I'm very sceptical about mediums, particularly when they charge for readings and go in for self-promotion, though I'm not a total non-believer in the idea of there being another/other? dimension(s) and think it's possible certain people may be particularly sensitive to that.

NacMacFeegle · 03/02/2011 20:35

I think it's delusion at best and cynical money making at worst.

You can tell a lot about a person from body language, and pick up hints and clues from their reactions to things you begin to say.

And if they are sceptical and you get nothing, you can blame them, because it only works if you BELIEVE (Ooh, echoes of the Alpha Course there!)

It's gubbins.

I am perfectly willing to change this opinion with decent proof though. And not someone telling me my Granddad's name began with A...E...R...R! Yes, R!!!

proton · 03/02/2011 20:43

i think there are alot of people out there claiming they are something that they are not but there is the odd one who is the genuine article. i don't agree with people being fleeced for cash, putting the money aspect of it aside, alot of people find comfort in readings, same as say going to chat with the vicar, it can help some people if they have lost someone close, myself included.

proton · 03/02/2011 20:48

silverymoon - years ago my parents went and stayed in an old english hotel, they didn't know its history. the first night my mother had terrible trouble getting to sleep due to the noise above, she compared it to the sound of a large hard ball ie as in bowling being rolled down a wooden floor board, it happened over and over again. in the morning they went to see the manager who explained that the room above was not occupied plus it had carpeted flooring. again, that night the noise returned (i am sure there was alot more to it but i cannot remember, sorry, it was years ago) but i do remember this, they spoke to the manager again and he told them that the hotel was infact the oldest haunted hotel in the uk and that there was one particular room that had had a manor or all sorts of ghostly things happen. transpires that part of the hotel was built on an old monastry, over the years many staff had reported having seen ghostly visions including more than one couple having to hastily check out of that particular room number, one having claimed she had woken in the night to see a ghostly vision of (i think) a women sat at the end of the bed. i remember my sister and i at the time daring the other to go and stay the night in that hotel bedroom..........not a chance!

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 20:56

NacMacFeegle - just wondered if you'd read my earlier post, and if you thought that was all gubbins picked up from his body language? I'm genuinely curious - do you not believe any of it? I think there are certainly charlatans out there, but I do believe that in some circumstances there is more than a ring of truth

NacMacFeegle · 03/02/2011 21:14

Maisie, yes, categorically I believe it is a trick or some way of confounding punters to believe - I don't have a belief in a spirit world etc, as an atheist I am convinced, given the evidence available at this time, that when you die, thassit, dead. I find that immensely comforting.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 21:16

Even with so much detail? Names, events, that kind of thing? No feeding off body language - my work colleague was in the audience along with the rest of us, and the medium on stage. Definitely no prompting either.

NacMacFeegle · 03/02/2011 21:21

If it can be replicated in a lab, I'll be convinced.

Your recollection is unlikely to be perfect - not casting aspersions, nobody has perfect recall, especially if things are very emotionally heightened.

I would love to see it tested and proven, but it has never been - I don't believe that's for want of trying.

Basically, anything can be made to look like magic, if you don't understand how it is done.

shesparkles · 03/02/2011 21:28

I'm open-minded with a leaning towards believing there's something in it.

However, I don't like the "stage mediums" doing shows.

My mum died just over a year ago, and dad's devastated, totally devastated. He saw an ad for a "stage medium" who will be doing a show fairly locally in a couple of months and was making interested noises, because he's so desperate for something, anything.

He knows my thoughts on the subject and has fortunately (I think!) listened to what I have to say on the subject, that I think the "stage mediums" are preying on people like my dad, grieving and desperate for some kind of "contact"

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 21:32

Oh, it is perfect - but no offence taken. There were 4 of us there, and you don't forget something like that in a hurry. The rest of it I don't remember in too much detail, but that I do - he was really shaken afterwards. An intelligent, practical man in his 50s, with his past recounted by a stranger in great detail in front of an audience - yes, definitely remembered, with names, events and circumstances.

NacMacFeegle · 03/02/2011 21:40

What do you suppose the motivation was of the medium, Maisie?

I don't know how it's done, but I don't believe it is done by plucking thoughts from someone elses head, or by speaking to spirits - what would the point be?

Maud2011 · 03/02/2011 21:40

I recently met a "medium" (not in a consultation I hasten to add :) ) and she and her husband told me something very interesting about a family whose grave is near where I live. Specifically that one family member was involved in a historic disaster.

I decided to look into the story as it would have been fascinating if true... and a few hours of pretty basic research proved it was total b&llocks. The "medium" in question had posted lots of stories on tinternet about how she'd been given this "info" in a dream from someone on tuther side and had quite a bit of feedback from her fans... but after I posted the real story, she deleted all her posts. No mea culpa, no explanation, they were simply all deleted.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 21:44

It was at a spiritualist church - no money changed hands at any point, and no entry fee charged.

I don't know what his motivation was.

chickencrisps · 03/02/2011 21:49

i wonder why they dont say your dads name is jim smith and he lived at 33 high road and passed away on 14th July

why all the cloak and dagger, it begins with H or could be T and its an old man who may be young

barteringlines · 03/02/2011 21:51

I know chickencrisps - when I dies I'm going to turn up at some psychic event and announce the first letter of my name

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 21:53

Chicken - the man I want with was told the name of his mentor, the fact that the mentor was a Catholic priest, the fact that he spent his childhood in an orphanage and the fact that his mum died in a fire.

That's not really cloak and dagger, is it? NacMac will disagree with me though..

fifi25 · 03/02/2011 21:54

Its not a medium story but a fortune teller one. My MIL sees one and over the past 10yr has predicted all the births of her grandchildren. I wasnt so sure until i was pregnant with my youngest daughter. I didnt find out i was pregnant till late on and it was a bit of a shock. At the weekend the MIL told me she had been to a one of his parties and somone was pregnant. I was shocked and didnt tell her it was me. This went on for a week and no one owned up. Her sister in law and daughter done a preganancy test which were negative as they were all so sure someone was. She then bought a pregnancy test for youngest daughter in her late teens. I then had to admit it was me before every woman old or young got a pregnancy test forced upon them.

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