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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to think of Mediums

116 replies

Skeptical · 03/02/2011 15:51

DH comes from a family of mediums and I don't quite know what to make of it!

When I met DH and found out about it I was a bit Hmm but I fell in love with him anyway. We have since married and had a baby together. DH is pretty low key about the whole thing but his Father, Sister and Brother are all mediums too.

My thoughts on Mediums have always been that either they are lying, deluded or maybe, possibly telling the truth (but have never really believed IYKWIM).

I think DFIL is both deluded and a massive attention seeker so he fits into my previous thoughts on mediums. However I adore DH, have massive respect for DSIL and I know that my DBIL hates the whole scene but claims that "they" won't leave him alone and is desperate to make them go away!

My mind boggles about the whole thing and they are convinces that it is really happening to them. Is it? I don't know!!

AIBU to be a bit Hmm about this part of my DH's life?

OP posts:
LetThereBeRock · 03/02/2011 16:55

James Randi,Valium.

TrillianAstra · 03/02/2011 16:55

"my DBIL hates the whole scene but claims that "they" won't leave him alone and is desperate to make them go away!"

That sound like schizophrena to me (not a professional opinion)

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 16:56

Im a big sceptic but on holiday me, ex and her brother went to a spiraltulist church (not local) to see what the fuss was about. we were at the back. the medium pick my ex out and said. you are a rose between two thorns is your dad still growing sunflowers followed by best wishes to the family etc.

This was something that her nanna always said to her and sunflowers were what her dad used to take round for his mum. Very weird.

valiumredhead · 03/02/2011 16:58

LetThereBeRock - thank you.

Honeybee79 · 03/02/2011 16:59

Utter shite. Lying to others and themselves. Or mentally ill.

Lamorna · 03/02/2011 17:12

I think that you will know if your DC just has a good imagination or it is uncanny-there will be a difference. I should just stay well away from that side but post back in a few years time, unfortunately we will all have forgotten about it by then!

barteringlines · 03/02/2011 17:27

They all fit into one of 2 categories

  1. Liars
  2. Mentally ill
CalamityKate · 03/02/2011 18:21

I think "lying to themselves" can sometimes be applied to Mediums too.

Everyone likes to feel special - and "communicating with the dead" is about as special as it gets.

This is also why "You're very psychic yourself, you know..." is such an often used line by psychics/mediums to their punters. Bit of flattery never goes amiss when you're trying to sell snake oil Wink

CalamityKate · 03/02/2011 18:22

Valium - I think I've twigged who you are Grin

I'm a bit slow.... Blush

Chil1234 · 03/02/2011 18:24

I think the better ones are just sensitive types that want to help people. I don't think they can really 'see' things, but they are intuitive, pick up on non-verbal signals from the subject, have the occasional lucky guess and work with the responses given. If they are trying to reassure people... fair enough, it's only what we all do in real life. If they are trying to frighten or exert influence, or if they are bleeding people dry by taking advantage of their misfortune then they are crooks.

Don't ask for readings and if they offer 'advice', treat it as you would advice from anyone else. My grandfather's family were all active spiritualists but thankfully 'the gift' died with them!!!

CalamityKate · 03/02/2011 18:29

It's interesting how many of the ones who seem to genuinely believe they've got a "gift" come from a background that involves being good at interpreting body language - ie sales etc.

Apparently (and unsurprisingly), many of the Great Big Fat Fakes come from a showbiz background. Doris Stokes for example.

proton · 03/02/2011 18:41

noone can know for SURE that the existence of an after life is rubbish, NOONE, only at the point of death will it become clear, if indeed there is something, until that point has come, we just don't know 100%

DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 18:43

My friends dad was a long distance lorry driver & he was driving in France,pulled over into a layby & settled down for the night,unfortunately he had a heart attack & passed away.

About 6 mths later she was at school,she is a teacher,when a supply teacher came in & told her all about her dad & his passing,she said he went to sleep & never woke up,she told her what cd he had been listening to & even what he had eaten.

She then told her her dad didnt like the lounge furniture the way she had moved them & he had bumped his legs on the armchair because it was too near the doorway now.

She had moved her furniture round the week before & she really believed everything this stranger had told her.

I just think there must be more to this than we can physically see & hear.

Adversecamber · 03/02/2011 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lamorna · 03/02/2011 19:04

I am surprised how many people are closed to anything that can't be experienced with our 5 senses and if they can't see it, hear it etc it doesn't exist. I'm not talking about a DC with a vivid immagination, but one who will say 'I don't think Auntie Sue is well she has a pain' and then you find that Auntie Sue was rushed into hospital with appendicitis or 'who is that sad lady', you can't see anyone but find that it was a scene of a house fire 100 yrs ago where DCs died. I don't know why people should sense these things, but some do. If your ILs really do have a psychic sense she may have it too.

Lamorna · 03/02/2011 19:06

I would never go to a medium and I think you should leave well alone but I think that people can have an 'extra' sense.

stressheaderic · 03/02/2011 19:10

My friend went to see a supposedly respected medium, to the tune of £40. He flattered her for an hour "your friends think you're very loving", all that shite...and told her a load of bollocks, "I can see the letter J, in November" etc - none of which has come true.
I told her she should have given the money to me and I'd have been able to come up with a better story. I can't believe people are so gullible.

'Seeing' things is one thing (I'm not sure what to believe), trying to make money out of vulnerable people is not.

alemci · 03/02/2011 19:12

I totally agrere Lamorna.

EauRouge · 03/02/2011 19:13

There's a difference between being 'closed' to something and needing some decent evidence before believing in it. I'd be perfectly happy to change my mind about ghosts, mediums, horoscopes, homeopathy etc etc if someone could come up with some proper scientific evidence instead of a load of anecdotes.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 19:16

I used to be very sceptical until I went to a spiritualist church with a guest medium, with some equally sceptical workmates. One got a message from 'the other side' which left him quite shocked and upset - about his mum dying in a fire, being bought up in an orphanage and a very unhappy childhood, and "The Rob" who had been a priest who had mentored the Catholic boys, but whom he'd never heard preaching in church. How would the medium have known all that?

Lamorna · 03/02/2011 19:21

I would be very spooked it a child came up with something they can't possibly know and they do sometimes. I don't think you have to believe or not believe or have a reason, it is just that some people have a 'sixth' sense for want of a better word. I don't think they should make money out of it and I'm really glad that I don't have it!

proton · 03/02/2011 19:22

Lamorna - i have been to see four mediums, two were the same lady who has since retired but was a very well respected/known lady in the field. i was a desperate lady in those days as i had had a mc and needed reasurrance, my heart was broken. anyhoo, she told me some incredible things and one of the other people i saw told me one specific thing that to this day still freaks me out and my dh who is a MAJOR disbeliever, he gets really angry on the subject. he was brought up by strict christian parents (de denies it is becuase of this) and thinks it is wrong. i won't go and see a medium now although i cannot rule out that i will never again but i agree, i am contradicting myself here as i do think that we shouldn't medle and leave well alone. i know of people who would experiement with weija boards whilst i don't like even sitting in a room if there is one boxed up on a shelf (long time ago a friend had one on a shelf), totally freaked me out, i think we should leave well alone (i hate being a hypocrite but i was so desperately sad)

Lamorna · 03/02/2011 19:23

I don't for a minute think that people 'talk to the dead' but they can sense things if they have a psychic side. Most minds are closed to it which is just as well, I imagine that it can be upsetting to be able to 'pick things up' in that way.

proton · 03/02/2011 19:24

when i was about 10 i clearly remember my parents (who were not particularly believers) being convinced that our house at the time had a poltergeist. i remember specific weird things happening which would be too long and rambling to list but i will list one, i was alone in the house doing my teeth when something that had for years layed flat on tope of the medicine cabinet came across the room flying at me whilst i was doing my teeth...i kid you not