Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My son was hit on the head by the swimming instructor

313 replies

ali1982 · 03/02/2011 15:50

My son came home from school upset because when he went swimming with the school the swimming instructor whacked him on the head with 2 floaters.My son told me that he was stood by the pool and that the woman was telling the class off and then she whacked him and another child on the head.I have made a complaint to the leisure center about this person and also to the school.But the school seems to be not taking it seriously.I have said that if my son was naughty i dont have a problem with him being told off but the woman should not have hit him on the head.My son is only 8 years old.What should the school do in this situation ?

OP posts:
DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 18:29

I would ask the school to find out exactly why she was telling the class off & why she singled out your ds & the other boy for a bonk on the head.

YANBU at all & i dont think you come across as a precious mum,at the end of the day you need to find out the context of the incident.

And surely no adult should be hitting any child over the head?

Surely as an instructor she should be setting an example not reverting to this kind of behaviour?

begonyabampot · 03/02/2011 18:30

Honestly, who would want to be a teacher or an instructor. We don't know if the bump was malicious or not, personally i'd tell my 8 yr old son to behave in future unless I thought the instructor was really a shit.

It's telling that quite a few posters are screaming abuse without even knowing all the facts. Can see them up at the school every few days asserting their childrens rights and making the teachers lives a misery.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 03/02/2011 18:33

thunderbird - I can't remember (if I was tapped on the head with a float) because it is such a non issue Grin I am so thankful to have grown up in the 70's It is such a shame that things have got so pathetic that people now genuinely believe that this is abuse - frankly, it just devalues the word.

begonyabampot · 03/02/2011 18:38

I was a sports mad kid, there is a casual, fun atmosphere involved in sports coaching but the coach has to be able to control and command respect - most kids love and have a great relationship with the coaches, this sometimes involves things like a bop on the head with a float etc. It's 'all for the greater good' if I can quote Hot Fuzz. Just ask the bloody instructor!

aPixie · 03/02/2011 18:42

I'm so glad my children won't be going to school.

If they have teachers like you lot that is. Serious hit or playful bonk. It does not matter. An adult should not be hitting a child on the head!

If you wantt heir attention, well children have names you know.

tougholdbird · 03/02/2011 18:46

Unreal. Is it really an offence to lightly tap a child in a playful admonishing way to get their attention, especially when you don't have a clue what their name is and if they are talking during a class telling off. Which is what this would have sounded like to me. I would at least try and ascertain the facts before lodging any complaint.

DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 18:46

begonyabampot -

It's telling that quite a few posters are screaming abuse without even knowing all the facts

Thats why i said she needs to find out the context of the telling off,in my eyes a good teacher/instructor shouldnt have to lay their hands on any child to gain their attention.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/02/2011 18:49

Spoc....when I pull a child up on bad behaviour my aim s NEVER to humiliate but to inform....to show the child the right way...to help them understand why what they did was the wrong choice.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/02/2011 18:51

Doingthebest....it's not a case of "screaming" abuse...but one of boundries....children have boundries....being "bonked" "whacked" or "bopped" on the head with a swimming float by a teacher is an invasion of space and a physical insult...not an attack obviously...not abuse....but an insult.

tougholdbird · 03/02/2011 18:52

Spoc never said humiliating a child was right, merely that singling out a child for telling off would make them feel humiliated.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2011 18:53

FFS, I can't believe people are screaming to call the police! Talk about over reacting.

LDNmummy · 03/02/2011 18:53

Its like children are fragile crystal statues nowadays, and I'm in my twenties and see that. No wonder kids can't be disciplined anymore ffs. No wonder playground supervisors cnnot even grb a child by the arm if they are doing something wrong. I would hate my child to go to a school or any other facility where there was this sort of attitude.

If it really was a hit, in every sense of that word, then of course report it. But if it was a donk or tap or something minor, then get over it. It is not abuse, just a donk on the head. Did it leave a mark?

begonyabampot · 03/02/2011 18:53

wimple - to most children being singled out will be humiliating anyway no matter what the attention so you would probably fail anyway and the child would be humiliated. Shame on you!

begonyabampot · 03/02/2011 18:54

attention = intention

DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 18:57

WimpleOfTheBallet i agree completely with you,it wasnt me that said about screaming abuse it was begonyabampot,i was replying to what she said.

SauvignonBlanche · 03/02/2011 18:59

Might be an idea to get the other side of the story OP. Hmm

DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 19:01

She has tried SauvignonBlanche,by complaning to the school then surely the onus is then on them to find out exactly what happened?

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/02/2011 19:06

Blush sorry DoingTheBest!

DoingTheBestICan · 03/02/2011 19:12

No worries,it was my fault for not bolding the sentence out.

momentsintime · 03/02/2011 19:39

When I was that age If I had been singled out like that I would have taken my telling off/reprimand and been glad my parents didn't know about it. I certainly wouldn't have gone home whining to mummy about the injustice. Real life is going to bite that kid in the arse when he's an adult and mums not around to listen to his woes.

tomhardyismydh · 03/02/2011 19:46

I dont agree this has anything to do with children these days being treated any differently. I think if you have respect you dont treat anyone like this and do not expect adults to reprimand your children in an uacceptable way. when I was a child my parents held the sdame view. they didnt hit me and so would not accept any other adult hitting me.

mumbar · 03/02/2011 19:59

OP I think your over reacting becuase your DS has been extrememly upset by something that wouldn't figure as important in other DC's days.

I agree with pag. I often tap DS on the head with his book, or the bottom with my handbag. Always in jest.

Its not uncommon for swimming teachers to be strict. Bare in mind though its water the dcs are in. DS swimming teacher has grabbed him by the feet and pulled him back before when he passed her with awful stroke. He still laughs about it now. Grin

Ormirian · 03/02/2011 20:02

"Ds was upset by a swimming teacher referring to his group as 'muppets' because they were too slow getting ready. He said it was rude, and he's right"

Really?

In our house 'muppet' is an affectionate term expressing mild exasperation. It's not rude.

OK, I am too old. I am clearly far to matter-of-fact and old school for all this.

mumbar · 03/02/2011 20:05

LOL orm I called DS 6 a muppet tonight for tripping over something and then again on the way back. Grin Told him to stop being a muppet and pick it up then he wouldn't trip!!

pointylug · 03/02/2011 20:11

SO much for teh Big Society then.

If instructors get a rash of complaints from parents every time they exercise some discipline, even in this very small-scale way, we are going to end up with fewer and fewer good quality instructors.

Our society no longer trusts adults to be in charge and I don't think that's right.