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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My son was hit on the head by the swimming instructor

313 replies

ali1982 · 03/02/2011 15:50

My son came home from school upset because when he went swimming with the school the swimming instructor whacked him on the head with 2 floaters.My son told me that he was stood by the pool and that the woman was telling the class off and then she whacked him and another child on the head.I have made a complaint to the leisure center about this person and also to the school.But the school seems to be not taking it seriously.I have said that if my son was naughty i dont have a problem with him being told off but the woman should not have hit him on the head.My son is only 8 years old.What should the school do in this situation ?

OP posts:

goldenbirdies · 03/02/2011 17:45

The child's version is different from the adults not because they are lying but because they describe in incident in terms of how it makes them feel. Maltesers should not have tapped the child with the book because it was aggresive and made her feel unsafe around you - shame you didn't learn much from the incident.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 03/02/2011 17:46

wayyyyyy out of proportion...

goldenbirdies · 03/02/2011 17:48

You are contradicting yourself spoc - something the real spock would never do. You now say children learn by being taught what is right and wrong, before you said they learned by being humiliated. Humiliating a child is a form of bullying which is clearly wrong

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 03/02/2011 17:48

Tapping her on the head with a soft paper book is agressive and she felt unsafe?

Oh FGS, really, just when you think you've heard it all.

thunderbird69 · 03/02/2011 17:50

I've seen teachers at school 'bonk' a child on the head with whatever is in their hand - clipboard, rolled up paper whatever - GENTLY! to get their attention and it doesn't bother me in the least.

Maybe it's an age thing, I'm a 60s child so fall in the 'man up' camp.

I think you have to ignore what all the rules and regulations are and just think what do YOU think is right and wrong.

Do nobody else's children play dodgeball? I dread to think how some of the posters on here would deal with that

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 17:50

Goldenballs - your clearly still on the starship enterprise in deep space somewhere sniffing pure oxygen.

If i child is told off they learn not to do it again.

If this is wrong then why do we tell children off? Please Im struggling to understand your logic.

MadamDeathstare · 03/02/2011 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goldenbirdies · 03/02/2011 17:54

Spoc, your foolishness perturbs me deeply. Of course a child can be told off and will need to be many times but they should not be insulted or humiliated. Elementary.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 17:56

Goldenbirdies. . . .leaving Mummy and starting nursery feels unsafe. . .but thats life.
How do humans learn , if they never get out of their comfort zone. . .its lifes experiences I'm afraid.
. .and being gently tapped on the head with a tiny Mr Men book is hardly going to damage a child psychologically, mentally or physically.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 17:57

I sure did learn from the incident. . . .and it was how petty ignorant, and pathetic some parents can be.

thunderbird69 · 03/02/2011 17:59

I'm sorry but I am finding people's fear of floats very funny.

Am I the only adult here to have been hit on the head with a float?
From my experience of swimming clubs it is mandatory!

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 18:01

my point as you clearly know is

"when a child is told off in front of his class, he/she will feel humiliated and singled out" this is not wrong or bullying and is just plainly telling them off.

This is how children learn or do you not agree

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:02

My kids used to love being hit on the head with a float. . it makes a fab noisy !!!!!!!!!!!!!

yerbladdymavva · 03/02/2011 18:03

you sound a bit of a bully MrSpoc

children don't need fear, pain or humiliation to learn right from wrong

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:04

This is how children. . .if he was being rude or disobedient then it was for his own good.

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 18:04

God not another one.

Are you the type of parent that if a teacher was to shout at your child you would say they were bullying your child?

If not were have i even come across as a bully?

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/02/2011 18:06

MrSpoc...your opinions lost ALL credibility wen you aid that humiliation wa how a child learns! What an arsehole atttude.

yerbladdymavva · 03/02/2011 18:06

Well, that would depend on the context

If it was a one-off incident where the teacher lost her/his rag, I wouldn't be pleased but I wouldn't call it bullying

But if a teacher repeatedly used shouting or any other kind of intimidation to control the children, then yes I would think that teacher was a bully, and a shit teacher to boot

goldenbirdies · 03/02/2011 18:08

Actually I don't agree spoc but that's really not the point. It was certainly not your point which was that there's nothing wrong with bonking a kid on the head with a float or calling them a muppet because they won't feel any worse than if they were just 'told off' in the usual way. That is nonsense.

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 18:10

Wimple you have taken what i said out of context or not read it clearly.

Golden said that if you single a child out they will feel humiliated.

I said that if a teacher was to tell a child off the child will automaticly feel humiliated and singled out.

We tell children off as this is how they learn right from wrong.

If you do not tell your child off - how do you achieve this? and if this makes me a bully so be it.

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 18:12

i have never once said hitting on the head was right or calling them names. in fact i said if the op is concerned she should go to the police

LDNmummy · 03/02/2011 18:13

If child was disrupting a whole classroom for instnce, would you tell the whole classroom off in order to not single out one child? Singling out can be done in a right way and a wrong way and I think that is what MrSpoc meant.

Too many precious mums on this thread.

MrSpoc · 03/02/2011 18:15

thank you LDNmummy, that is indeed what i meant.

goldenbirdies · 03/02/2011 18:15

Damn those precious mums, they're such a pain! Beam me up scotty, there's a love.

LDNmummy · 03/02/2011 18:16

Indeed they are goldenbirdies

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