Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by a mother of two girls telling me that as a mother of two boys I'm going "to be busy".

102 replies

SpiderWilliam · 03/02/2011 15:44

Is parenting girls really such a doddle? Surely she is quite busy herself. She was a nice lady at the swings, and it was an idle comment. However, it really saddens me that so many people seem to have a downer on male children.

OP posts:
rexrabbit · 03/02/2011 22:20

no I just made that up, I mean one of those girl-only mothers who can't get their heads round boys at all and so get all passive agressive on you.

lockets · 03/02/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StopTalkingAndEatYourDinner · 03/02/2011 22:22

threads like this make me not want to get chatting to mums I don't know. I don't understand why people are so quick to be irritated/offended by casual comments? What impact do they actually have on your life?!

FWIW i have both - my daughter is a doddle and my son is bonkers!

MerryMarigold · 03/02/2011 22:22

Smalltalk. I have twins and people constantly tell me how much hard work and how difficult it must be and how on earth do I cope etc? I THINK they are trying to be empathetic, but it's not v encouraging. It's much nicer when people say, "Oh wow, how wonderful!"

zukiecat · 03/02/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rexrabbit · 03/02/2011 22:29

NoWayNoHow: really? and girls tend to be more (pull meaningless cliche out of the air) manipulative/snide/vain/docile/neat etce tc. Some boys are more manic. some girls are more maic. some girls are more manipulative some boys are etc etc. I've found it's more the mums of very young girls who say that sort of thing, as if they're relieved they haven't produced a tearaway, and can congratulate themselves. Shame it has to involve putting down other people's children though (and so RUDE!)

lockets · 03/02/2011 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juuule · 03/02/2011 22:33

Oooh merrymarigold I once said 'wow how wonderful' to a mother of twins and got my head bit off about how I just couldn't understand how difficult it was to have twins. Guess you can't win whatever you say really.:o Or maybe she was having a bad day.

MerryMarigold · 03/02/2011 22:36

I hope it wasn't me! Thing is, at least it's YOU slagging off your kids then, not someone else saying they must be so awful and hard work!

juuule · 03/02/2011 22:44

Hmmm do you do that sort of thing then? Just on 'off' days perhaps? Hey, you're good. I don't say much more than mmmm and nod understandingly to parents of twins now.....just in caseWink Even though I couldn't possibly understand (having not had twinsEnvy?

juuule · 03/02/2011 22:49

Of course, not saying it was you, merrymarigold (how would I know really):)

pointylug · 03/02/2011 22:52

So she was definitely saying you will be busy because you will have boys and not because you will have two children?

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 03/02/2011 22:53

If I'd have had DD first, I'm not sure I'd have had another! DS was a golden haired angel, DD was a raven haired ratbag! She was always up to mischief! It's amazing how you forget! Grin

steppemum · 04/02/2011 00:17

ds very hard work, apart from being totally physical all the time, he is very emotional, sensitive, flies off the handle like a diva.

dd1 quiet, placid, gentle, easy going peacemaker

dd2 mischievious little monkey, did things neither of the others ever dreamt up. Runs away in shops and parks, think naughty is a great lark.

Used to think boys were more energetic and tiring til I had to spend time with my dn2. My db has 3 girls, that household makes mine look calm (and that is saying something) mainly because of negative interaction between dn1 and dn2. Dn3 on the other hand is gentle and calm and sweet.

Could this possible be because personality is more relevant than gender???

theoldtrout01876 · 04/02/2011 01:11

I have 2 of each,1 girl, my older dd, was WAY more work than both my Ds combined but my younger dd was a breeze,it depends on the kid,not the sex imo

Original poster
SpiderWilliam · 04/02/2011 08:19

It was definitely about gender pointylug.

I tend to agree with alot of the replies that it is about personality. I only have got the first 3 months to campare but so far the baby is a completely different kettle of fish to the toddler: he sleeps for a start.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 04/02/2011 08:28

I think my 15 year old niece is twice as hard as my two boys. (8 and 5)

There is nothing worse than a teenage tantrum, be it over boys or accidentally deleted homework. Screaming, tears, shouting, drama.

JamieLeeCurtis · 04/02/2011 09:51

steepemum - you have hit the nail on the head (I think birth-order comes into it as well)

rexrabbit · 04/02/2011 13:49

personality all the way! enough stereotyping please!

frankie81 · 04/02/2011 14:36

I have a dd and than a ds. Ds is mucher harder work than dd but I put alot of that down to 2nd child syndrome. Another mum of 3 boys once said she preferred boys any day as what you see is what you get.

AndyP07 · 06/09/2011 15:36

Hi, I'm a reporter who would like to interview mums of just boys or just girls to explore the differences involved in bringing them up.

If interested please email me at [email protected]

Thanks

AndyP07 · 06/09/2011 15:38

Sorry! My email address is actually [email protected]

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks!

jetsetlil · 06/09/2011 15:44

Its a throwaway comment - she was probably just making conversation for gods sake! I am amazed how touchy and easily offended people are about the slightest thing. Was that remark seriously worth starting a thread for?!

rogersmellyonthetelly · 06/09/2011 15:50

Actually, you are going to be busy, but because you have 2 kids, one a newborn. I have ds and dd, currently trying for no3 and while Ill happily have whatever comes my way be it boy or girl, if I had a choice, I would prefer a boy, just. I love my daughter dearly but she can be stroppy, argumentative and has an opinion on absolutely everything. She is hard work when compared to my ds. Then again, she doesn't try to play football in the sitting room, leave skiddy underpants in the bathroom or swing from the bannister whenever she thinks I'm not looking, so I suppose it evens itself out in the long run Grin

MangoMonster · 06/09/2011 15:55

Yabu, it's just small talk.