To be irritated by a mother of two girls telling me that as a mother of two boys I'm going "to be busy".

[SpiderWilliam]

Is parenting girls really such a doddle? Surely she is quite busy herself. She was a nice lady at the swings, and it was an idle comment. However, it really saddens me that so many people seem to have a downer on male children.

Hadn't heard the term SMOGs before, but haven't definitely met them!

lockets I know, I apologise. I knew as soon as I typed it that it was too combative. Sorry

I think it is true, my boys have unstoppable energy and I'm knackered at the end of each day. But I also reckon they seem more fun to be around than the very placid little girls you often come across. I like feisty, cheeky girls who remind me of my boys. I love the way DS1 is beginning to be outrageously cheeky on purpose at 2 and a quarter, with a sideways cheeky look on his face... despite trying to keep a poker face I just end up laughing. He's such fun, fantastic entertainment, the best handful I could have wished for (and I'm sure his bro will be too, he's a dude-like baby). yay for boys.

< worried DS1 is, in fact, not a boy >

"I dont have any ds but I've heard they are hard."

Well that's part of the problem. The myth that boys are hard and girls are easy. Where in fact some children more difficult than others. So you also get the situation where parents who think that girls will be quiet etc. get a shock and wonder what is the matter with their daughter.:)

I have three sons and no daughters.

Children are all very different to one another in general...but compared to my neices, my sons are easier to get ready in a hurry. No hair plaiting/bows/clips...they wear whatever I buy them (much like their Dad lol) and are generally quite chilled when it comes to playground politics...again compared to my neices who are not.

My neices are however, much much tidier!

Mutznutz - but if you had daughters they might also be easy to get ready, wear what you tell them to etc and if you had another son he might not be quite as laid back as you are used to.....maybe.

i think it's just small talk as well.

i've one of each though so i'm not feeling the 'on this team' or 'on that team' vibes that mgiht be out there.

Hadn't heard of the term smog. But if I'd had a second daughter like my first daughter, I'd be in an institution rocking and swaying I think. Dc2 a boy and he is easier. Give him food he wags his tail.

I know not all girls are like my daughter though. I think in a previous life she worked in a pschological torture team.

obviously there should have been a Y in there!

Right. I'm back from being "busy" .

I would guess the age gap between the lady's DDs would be similar to mine: about 2 1/2 years. So it's not a very small gap. Hers are probably a year or so older.

I think she was refering to my DSs being boys rather than making a general comment about children being hard work because she had just established that the baby (wearing a white snowsuit) is a boy before commenting about how busy I am going to be.

I have no issue with imminent busy-ness (indeed I would say I already am quite busy), it felt clear to me that she felt a bit sorry for someone in my situation whereas I feel very lucky. As I said in the OP it makes me feel a bit sad that some people have this attitude to boys.

As a SMOG I would say that it's a personality not gender. dD1 is extremely physical, it is like looking after zebedee; DD2 is rather geeky and loves her computer and jigsaw puzzles and Dd3 is the only one who gas ever been interested in dollies but is only 18 months so who knows?

I think some children are difficult and some are not. Gender has nothing to do with even though people seem desperate to think so.

And I honestly think she was referring to the fact you are going to be busy in general. I have the same age gaps between my three and it is bloody hard work for ghe first year.

I have two boys and a girl. The two boys are very different, one is sport mad and always on the go whereas the other one would rather sit down with a good book. One likes swords and stories about battles, the other hates any violence. DD is, quite frankly, just as hard work as the boys if not more. All three keep me very busy!

Oops sorry OP thought you were still pregnant.

Of course if they're both here you already know about being busy :)

No you are not being unreasonable. I wish I had a pound for every mother of girls (and it's only mothers of girls) who's said something similar to me. It's rude, insensitive oneupmanship based on ignorance, fear and self congratulation. I have one lovely friend who adopted two girls specifically because she didn't think she could cope with boys who even though she was at the birth of one of my boys CANNOt resist making some off the cuff remark usually as she's leaving, that serves only to point up how superior her girls are. And I know that with her there are other agendas here but my god does it get irritating. I can only conclude that there a lot of women out there who basically don't like the male sex very much an are relieved when they can stay safely in a pink universe,

what one of the pinkies? really? please can you explain why they feel the need to say such things? It's such a classic passive aggressive put down. why why why?

I do find DS(6) much harder to deal with than DD(4). I regularly thank god/ my lucky stars for giving me a DD and not a second DS.

Got to be honest, I have a DS, and when I watch him playing with other girls it's like watching two different species! He's like a Tasmanian Devil and a Duracell bunny rolled into one! . Boys just seem to be more manic imo.

I have never, ever heard anyone say anything so ridiculous. If anything mothers of boys seem keen to point out how much more difficult boys are.

People delight in telling me that my girls will be horrendous teenagers - devious, scheming, sneaky little horrors apparently. Can't wait.