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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be irritated by a mother of two girls telling me that as a mother of two boys I'm going "to be busy".

102 replies

SpiderWilliam · 03/02/2011 15:44

Is parenting girls really such a doddle? Surely she is quite busy herself. She was a nice lady at the swings, and it was an idle comment. However, it really saddens me that so many people seem to have a downer on male children.

OP posts:

thatsnotmymonster · 03/02/2011 17:30

Maybe your boys are closer in age than hers and that's why she said it? I get that all the time as my 3 were born within a 3 year space.

I have a boy and 2 girls- no difference really- just different issues to deal with. My middle dc (dd1) has always been a challenge and she is only 4.5! In fact both the girls are more stroppy/temperamental/emotional etc. Boys are generally very physical and have more energy but much easier emotionally.

MrsBananaGrabber · 03/02/2011 17:35

It's the endless energy with boys, have 2 DSs (9 and 7) and a 7 week od DD, I have yet to experience the girly stuff but having been around little boys for nearly 10 years I would say that's the main difference, the energy they have and also a lack of fear when climbing, playing ect.

I can't imagine two little girls the same age as my boys running around with lightsabers making so much bloody noise and chaos.....i'm sue I will be eating my words when DD hits toddlerhood

lockets · 03/02/2011 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadySanders · 03/02/2011 17:41

i have 2 boys, when dd was born last year loads of people told me she would be a breeze in comparison. how wrong they were. she's lovely, of course, but a total menace in a way they never were: plant pots being emptied, 1p coins eaten, climbs on sofa/chairs/beds and falls off 19 times a day, pulls out all the cereal from the cupboard and empties on the kitchen floor, intimidates the cat, squeals at top of voice if you try to stop her from doing anything...

sadiesadiemarriedlady · 03/02/2011 17:44

I have 4, 2 of each, and my daughters are by far the ones who keep me busy!

BluddyMoFo · 03/02/2011 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feegle · 03/02/2011 17:50

Did she say she wasn't busy herself ? You will be busy, boys or girls you will still be busy. So what.

firsttimemum77 · 03/02/2011 17:54

I had to laugh out very loud reading this! I have a dd who is 3 and bloody hell she is hard work and I only have the one child! Silly comment of the woman to make really! Children are all different regardless of gender - my friends little boy is so sweet, sensitive and gentle whereas my girl is boisterous and bouncing off the walls! Currently having a tantrum which I've let her get on with!

lazylula · 03/02/2011 18:03

As a mum of 2 boys I am happy to say that so far I believe the easiness or hardness of raising a them has nothing to do with the sex and everything to do with the individual child! Ds1 (5) was a doddle compared to ds2 (2.7) who is very hard work at times lol!
I did hear a mum at tots group recently state that she was glad she had only had girls after witnessing a boy push his little brother (in a get a move on kind of way), so I can only assume that little girl siblings never push each other, fight or argue.

sussexmum · 03/02/2011 18:44

Have had 2 of each....boys maybe "harder" in the trad sense of the word but just think of her during her girls' khol mini skirt and push up bra phase adn laugh!!

FabbyChic · 03/02/2011 18:48

Hey I have two boys and they are so much easier to look after, my sister had girls and she had nothing but grief all through their teens. Make up, staying out late, darn right cheekiness i.e swearing at her telling her to fuck off, calling her a slag etc.,

I have two lovely dudes who have caused me no trouble, are respectful, have great manners and are a pleasure.

Take no notice me thinks she is jealous.

RMCW · 03/02/2011 18:50

If I had to generalise, I would say that IME boys are harder at the baby/toddler/infant stage but girls are harder at the teen stage.

Tortington · 03/02/2011 18:52

boy children are IME a piece of piss - they go and play up trees and shit

girls are harder ime, climg round your knees constantly seekng alpha female appreciation for the things they have achieved in play

MrsBananaGrabber · 03/02/2011 18:54

yup, when my two DS are fighting and pushing each other I look longingly at the little girls playing with a skipping rope and not using it as a lasso

spidookly · 03/02/2011 19:00

Why did you think she meant you'd be busy because they were boys rather than because you'd have two children?

You will be busy. It's great :)

(mum of 2 girls)

eddiemccready · 03/02/2011 19:31

Have 4 ds, they are full of beans, but oh were they a doddle compared with dd. With each boy they got easier as they fitted in with the whole routine. Then dd came along last year. Number 5, I'm a dab hand I thought, I won't even notice her here! She is so demanding and very headstrong. If she wants something she must have it, no palming her off. Also turns the head away in a huff when you say no. She is 14mths!!! I see alot of tantrums ahead. My boys are just so easy to jolly along.

mumbar · 03/02/2011 19:39

@ Mrs BananaGrabber

portaloo · 03/02/2011 20:54

I second Custardo and eddiemccready posts.

Underachieving · 03/02/2011 20:59

It's a bit like the unanswerable question about if cats are better or dogs. It all depends on who shares a home with the person you're asking.

SmethwickBelle · 03/02/2011 21:00

"Turns the head away in a huff" oh eddiemccready how I nodded... and relate to that but with my 14 month old SON. He's huffy AND a bruiser so no let up there.

I don't mind people telling me I have my hands full with two boys, it feels sort of true and is possibly less irritating than being told "ah, you've got it easy there love".

Mummy2Bookie · 03/02/2011 21:03

I dont have any ds but I've heard they are hard. Dd is a dream child. From newborn she has slept all night, good at eating, never been ill. Teething has never bothered her, smiles at everyone, rarely cries. just such a happy and placid child.we are very lucky. Some of my mates kids are absolute monsters.

Minshu · 03/02/2011 21:06

There was something on the radio this morning about it being harder to bring up girls, particularly through the teenage years. The woman talking didn't really explain why she thought that, seemingly basing it only on her experience of teaching in girls' schools.

There is a stereotype that boys are physically more hard work when little, but the teenage boy hides in his room while the teenage daughter screeches at poor, downtrodden mum...

What do I know, though - I only have an easy going, happy 16 mo DD to contend with.

To be honest, when people make comments like that, they are projecting how they think they would feel in those circumstances. Each to their own.

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 21:06

I have 2 boys and they are very different. If I had 2 like DS2 then I would be "very busy". I agree with lazylula.

Boring to here SMOGS making invalid assumptions about boys

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 21:07

hear not here!

lockets · 03/02/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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