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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with alpha mummies slagging off the school.

91 replies

softglowsandmaybes · 03/02/2011 09:28

Was with a group of mums the other day whilst waiting for our children to finish an afterschool activity. They were all bemoaning the fact that their children only get two reading books a week (they are year 1!). Our children get two reading books, maths homework and spelling every week. I think that is adequate. They were complaining and saying that the children should be listened to reading every day at school and why should they make the effort to hear their children read if the teacher can't do it. I do think that the school could possibly hear the children read more and could maybe do with more mum volunteers to help and said this.

What really upset me was this: My DD is getting some extra help with her reading as she is struggling a bit. So her and a few others go off with the Senco (i think its the senco or might just be TA) to get some more one on one time. My DDs teacher told me it was to help boost confidence. When i said this it was like a red flag to a bull - why should my child get extra help when theirs don't. Err because my child is struggling and yours are managing perfectly well Confused maybe? This really upset me and the more i think about it the more angry i become.

The thing that gets me is this though - these children are five years old. Isn't it the way in Steiner schools etc that they aren't even introduced to reading until 6 yrs? Dont they do that on the Continent anyway? Does it matter if they aren't reading the works of shakespear (sp) before the end of year one??

Yes, i share the concern over lack of reading time at school, but to bang on about children who need extra help getting it over their precious little darlings who are managing fine is beyond me. Why do people feel the need to push push push anyway? ~I dont read with my child every day as my child doesn't want to do it every day, when she wants to read we read, so every other day we sit and read her school books. Sometimes, shock horror, we dont bother at the weekends.

Every week its the same, moaning about this that and the other about the school. Its a faith school and that is why i sent my DD there, and becuase it has the reputation as the best and most caring school in the area. I cannot praise my DDs teacher enough, he is wonderful wonderful and my DD adores him. She goes to school wiht a smile on her face and comes home with a grin - THAT is what matters to me, i am not, quite frankly, too worried about her reading at this time. I feel it will come, she is almost the youngest in her year. I just htink to myself, none of you fuckers go to church (i admit im very crap about that too) but you insisted on sending your child to this school, its a good school, stop comparing it to the other schools or i might start to wonder if you only sent your child here because its a predominantly middle class school Hmm
It makes me sad that its all push push push, why cant we just let our children be children.

OP posts:
Maisiethemorningsidecat · 03/02/2011 19:30

Norman - we had the same thing when DS moved up to High School. It's a great school, good facilities, but a very diverse social group (which I like). Some parents positively recoiled in horror at the thought of their offsrping mixing with children from council houses Hmm Angry

littlebylittle · 03/02/2011 19:59

Some people like to moan. It's toxic and I avoid people like that, only a few at our school. And as for people who discuss reading levels in RL, not mumsnet, recipe for disaster. So glad parents don't hear readers in dd's class. Have heard stuff I shouldn't have from someone who helps at another school.

goneanddoneitnow · 03/02/2011 20:16

I have no objection to the kids that need extra help getting it and will help myself when the youngest starts school.
I have been known to moan as teaching is not tailored to the individual unless the child is not meeting targets or has behavioural problems.
BUT my eldest has been ignored for 18 months as went to school reading well and with a good grasp of maths.
As her behaviour is good and she delights in being to do the work so easily she get colouring in to do. That (colouring in)has improved tremendously.
I do not think it unreasonable to think that she should have been given work that challenged her so she would progress rather than stagnating while she waits for the rest of the class to catch up. I have asked again and again but no use so just set alternative homework myself.
I am trying not to teach the second but she asks and at 3 can read a little and count very well. My children seek the information and ask me to do reading and maths. Lucky I know but I still have to find the time to do it.

mumbar · 03/02/2011 20:24

Lets face it - most people can read by the time they're adults. I'd just point that out. As long as the dc's can read to level required for the work they do in school thats what counts.

You have a fab attitude btw OP. Grin

foxytocin · 03/02/2011 20:28

Ditto what mumbar said.

my rule of thumb is that no one is going to look at your child's CV when she applies for her first job and say: No way! you can't have the job! you didn't learn to read till you were 7!

MothershipG · 03/02/2011 20:30

Tell them to read this...

More evidence against primary school homework

"Homework can do primary schoolchildren more harm than good, say researchers.

A study of 11-year-olds at the University of Durham has found that children who are given more homework do not perform better in tests than those who do very little - and often they perform worse."

softglowsandmaybes · 03/02/2011 20:43

goneanddoneitnow, i would be pissed off if i were you too

OP posts:
NacMacFeegle · 03/02/2011 20:43

I'm in NI, in P1 (age 5) they don't yet have reading books - they follow the revised/ enriched curriculum. Broadly happy with it - DD at 7 (P3) is reading as well as her peers in England without pressure in the first couple of years at school.

A little less happy in DS1's case as he is able to read and his maths is at the same level as DD's, but I don't think the school even realise that. But he is doing the social stuff this year, which he is very behind on, so that's good too. Smile

Just ignore the women who annoy you, no need to interact above a superficial level.

softglowsandmaybes · 03/02/2011 20:46

OMG foxy, your DD must be in my DDs class Grin

Just teasing :)

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 03/02/2011 20:48

I'd just say to them that if they're not happy with the school, then maybe they ought to send them to a private school that they pay for.

foxytocin · 03/02/2011 20:57

so the handsome teacher was all made up then.

terribly sad for you.

this one is very real. Wink

softglowsandmaybes · 03/02/2011 21:07

lol no mine is real too! oh yes!!!

OP posts:
northerngirl41 · 03/02/2011 21:22

I absolutely don't think it's unreasonable to encourage kids to read BUT it should be a fun thing and not rammed down their throats. But yes, as a parent it's your job to ensure your child can read - not the school's job. It's too important to leave to chance.

What I think IS unreasonable are these mums bemoaning about the school and not volunteering to help - especially not if they have time to be standing around carping at the school gates!

Mirage · 03/02/2011 21:36

I know exactly what you mean.I went out once with a group of mums from school and all they did was moan and bitch about the school all night.They were Alpha mummies and were moaning that their little angels had been disciplined by the teacher for bad behaviour.

IInterestingly,none of them ever went in and helped out at the school,despite being SAHM's.And a lot of them have siblings who are able to educate their children privately.Our school is one of the top in the county and has very small class sizes,and is a very friendly-they don't know they are born.

jjkm · 03/02/2011 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

figcake · 04/02/2011 10:02

I have to say that the one's getting their knickers in a twist at our school are extremely keen to help out in class - not out of the goodness of their heart though as a means of comparing their children to the rest. The school has to be quite tactful in turning them away sometimes.

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