To be pissed off with alpha mummies slagging off the school.

[softglowsandmaybes]

Was with a group of mums the other day whilst waiting for our children to finish an afterschool activity. They were all bemoaning the fact that their children only get two reading books a week (they are year 1!). Our children get two reading books, maths homework and spelling every week. I think that is adequate. They were complaining and saying that the children should be listened to reading every day at school and why should they make the effort to hear their children read if the teacher can't do it. I do think that the school could possibly hear the children read more and could maybe do with more mum volunteers to help and said this.

What really upset me was this: My DD is getting some extra help with her reading as she is struggling a bit. So her and a few others go off with the Senco (i think its the senco or might just be TA) to get some more one on one time. My DDs teacher told me it was to help boost confidence. When i said this it was like a red flag to a bull - why should my child get extra help when theirs don't. Err because my child is struggling and yours are managing perfectly well maybe? This really upset me and the more i think about it the more angry i become.

The thing that gets me is this though - these children are five years old. Isn't it the way in Steiner schools etc that they aren't even introduced to reading until 6 yrs? Dont they do that on the Continent anyway? Does it matter if they aren't reading the works of shakespear (sp) before the end of year one??

Yes, i share the concern over lack of reading time at school, but to bang on about children who need extra help getting it over their precious little darlings who are managing fine is beyond me. Why do people feel the need to push push push anyway? ~I dont read with my child every day as my child doesn't want to do it every day, when she wants to read we read, so every other day we sit and read her school books. Sometimes, shock horror, we dont bother at the weekends.

Every week its the same, moaning about this that and the other about the school. Its a faith school and that is why i sent my DD there, and becuase it has the reputation as the best and most caring school in the area. I cannot praise my DDs teacher enough, he is wonderful wonderful and my DD adores him. She goes to school wiht a smile on her face and comes home with a grin - THAT is what matters to me, i am not, quite frankly, too worried about her reading at this time. I feel it will come, she is almost the youngest in her year. I just htink to myself, none of you fuckers go to church (i admit im very crap about that too) but you insisted on sending your child to this school, its a good school, stop comparing it to the other schools or i might start to wonder if you only sent your child here because its a predominantly middle class school
It makes me sad that its all push push push, why cant we just let our children be children.

Xenia, put your pinny on and go bake a few , there's a love.

I am lucky - I miss it all - I park by the gate and my 2 walk themselves in - then I pick up later as they have after school clubs Thursday and Friday (the rest of the week I am at work!)

seriosly I don't know any 'alpha' mums at our school - they are all normal, friendly and not really that interested in discussing the details of their childs reading scheme

It makes me sad because i know their attitudes will rub off on their children and what then, my DD wont be quite good enough for them? Not sure that is such a bad thing tbh

When my son was in Reception, year 1, we were expected to read with them every day including weekends, not sure how it is now though that was 13 years ago.

Fabby, its the same here, but these mums are mithering on because their children aren't being heard reading, individually, every day at school.

Xenia is so right. Being a working single parent I never had to face any of this.

On the positive side my ds could no more read at the end of his first year of school than at the start. I decided to just give reading a rest over the summer holiday. When he returned to school in the autumn he could read. He never looked back as far as reading was concerned. It was as if his brain had not been mature enough to read until he was nearly six. He is now at a RG uni.

I think the idea of not starting formal schooling until a bit older, has a lot of sense.

yeh but Rennie - as a working single parent myself do you ever worry the 'alpha mummies' might be giving your child the 'head tilt - poor disadvantaged child smile'

Unless like my you chose a great school with loads of single parents and kids on free dinners!

I'm a sahm who has helped with reading in school,and its completely different to rading at home.The time constraints make it a lot harder.I used to manage to read with about 6 to 8 children in an hour,so in the entire afternoon I was there,never managed an entire class.Also read with reception and managed to get through most of the class in 2 hours,but it felt completely rushed,and I didn't feel i was achieving a lot with such a small space of time with each child.It is far easier and more enjoyable to read at home with your children,than it is for a teacher to try to.

But Rennie - i was the only SAHM there!!!

sorry reading not rading,ha!

I totally see your point lovely, although i do think that children are more likely to focus with a teacher/volunteer than a parent so for that reason i do think reading with children in school is valid, but i just think it is expecting too much for it to be every single day. And i don;t think its necessary.

It never fails to astound me how demanding some parents can be. I would like to see these parents try and do what many teachers have to do with such limited resources

i do think they have a point though.Reading twice a week at school is NOT enough.Little and often is what works.A few minutes twice a day is really effective.At my DDs school all the children R-Y2, however competent are heard to read at school every day.
They always read in the same order.So the first 3 go get their books out, and sit on a bench with adult at one end.Children have books and reading records open at right page.Adult hears first child read a few pages.Then looks at the list to tell them to fetch next child.All the children shuffle up the bench whilst the next one joins the queue.Simple system can hear about 20 children in an hour.They rope in anyone to help with reading that they can-school secretary,grandparents and sixth form s5tudents in local school who are allowed to do voluntary work instead of PE, as well as TAs and HT

They should make the effort as they are the mums.

Education is not the sole respoonsibility of schools. I could read well before I was school age - and count etc, I am really shocked that so few kids are taught anything at home.

Katie, i can't see the point in that - it just sounds rush and ticky boxy. Children need to spend time being helped to sound out words etc, you can't do this in a few minutes. They are learning all day anyway, whether through play or group activities. I can't see how two minutes reading makes much difference myself. Takes me at least twenty minutes to settle DD into reading a book with 10 pages and a couple of words on each page.

Should think themselves lucky that their kids read in school, my sons school (until recently) only read with the child at the most once in every six weeks, that was until ofsted visited then it dramatically increased to a couple of times a week, sadly it went back to the norm when the inspection finished.

Ofsted did slate them for crap management and the fact they where failing the kids and had been doing for a few years.
New head now so new practises in school, it looks like its picking up

Oh I hate mums like this too. My DS2 is actually by far the most gifted child in his class, he has a real natural intelligence and is doing key stage 3 maths work in year 2. His teachers are always amazed at my attitude at parent's evenings etc when they start spouting about how clever he is and I say "that's great but how is he doing in PE and how is he making friends and socialising, is he finding school fun". Because HE IS 6 YEARS OLD and while I am immensely proud of his academis achievements I still want him to be a child.

FWIW OP, there is tons of research that states the Oxford rreading tree and other school books are actually the least effective tools for teaching children to read. I have never once read my children's school books with them, however, they do read everyday and always have.

It starts younger than school as well. A mum of a September born girl at my DS's pre-school (so oldest there) was trying to get me to join her in complaining that they aren't pushing the 'more able' and older ones. It's nursey ffs. They do a great selection of activities, let her just enjoy them without forcing reading and maths at this age. There's plenty of time for that when they start school. Needless to say I refused.

Sorry for dodgy typing, I have a squirmy baby on my lap.

Your son is lucky to have you boyscomingoutofmyears!!

katiestar that sound awful. Conveyor belt reading is not going to help children who are struggling and just seems an exercise in box ticking for the school.

YANBU, I can totally undertand why you are annoyed. Stupid women.

Well done for standing up to them. My DD is year one and how is the teacher supposed to hear them all read and teach? I volunteer a couple of times a term and hear readers, it would be more but time is limited by DS, who's only at preschool.

You will just have to rise above I'm afraid, nothing else for it. Grrr at them!

10minsx30children=5 hours a day! What else would the teacher teach if she had to hear each child every day? Why do parents expect their child to read every day when they can do that themselves at home? I would rather the teacher spent 5 hours teaching the whole class which my daughter is part of than just 10 minutes reading with her.

On the other hand I don't think reading only a couple of times a wee at home is enough in year 1- maybe that is why your child is struggling a little OP?

OP ignore them, you have already given them more attention then they deserve. As I have said before my dc have NEVER had reading books sent home, they have managed just fine. I sometimes listen to them read their own books (if I cba).
A good indication to see if reading level is up to par is to see if they can read and understand their homework.