To really hate this dog?

[Needle]

I should start by saying that i've never had a dog before, so this might be totally normal, but I need to ask, as i'm rapidly reaching my wits end.

My dh has a border collie, 6 years old, male, not neutered (sp?!). it is the neediest, most neurotic animal you will ever meet, and literally follows dh every step he takes. When dh goes to the loo he sits outside the door and whimpers till he comes out. When he leaves the house he sits by the door and howls for 20minutes. We can't leave any doors open, ever because he simply goes into a room, trashes it looking for food (he's perfectly well fed) then pisses on the wreckage. His favourite trick is to push against the bedroom or kitchen door till it opens then either go through the bin and shower rubbish everywhere or roll on our bed, so I'm having to change the sheets several times a week. He sheds like you wouldn't believe, I Hoover every other day and have to empty the cleaner everytime because it fills so fast.
Despite bring walked 4 times a day, if dh is half an hour late with his morning walk he'll simply s**t in the house. He bashes his way into our room every night and tries to get into bed with us and basically, I hate him. Is this what all dogs are like? I've got enough excrement to deal with from my 6m old daughter. This is pushing me over the edge!

I agree people are being too harsh rather than helpful. Not only is it not her dog, but she has never looked after a dog before. Its not her fault she has been thrown in at the deep end with a border collie and a new baby.

Am I right from what you have posted OP that the dog has become a real problem only in the last year?

Thank you gloriasmut and fantoosh.

I can understand why people are getting angry- I don't like to hear of animals being mistreated either but as I've never had a dog, I don't know what's normal or what they need. Hence my asking.

Anyway, i'm typing on my phone, while walking the dog, off the lead, with a ball in the park. I promise to give him at least an hour.

Fantoosh, we are not shouting. Yes, it is her DH's dog, but according to what she has told us she is the person who is at home all day with the dog, is at least partially responsible for its exercise and care and is having to manage the consequences of the dog's behaviour, particularly with regard to its not being housetrained. And for most married couples, the question is academic anyway. Part of being a couple is talking about and discussing your joint responsibilities, such as children and pets.

lesly33 yes, only really since I moved in :-s

Needle, there are around 25,000 dogs being put to sleep every eyar in the UK as there aren't enough homes for them, unless you have a very good reason to breed and awaiting list for the puppies, it is wrong. Presumably your collie isn't health tested or proven in any sphere, so the only peole who will want to use him at stud will be irresponsible pet owners.

Neutering will not solves your problems and I am in the minority who don't agree with routine neutering, but responsible ownership. This dog is not getting enough exercise or mental stimulation and you need to deal with this. The dog doesn't sound at all happy and that is a real problem.

Oh, BTW, I'd be thrilled to have to only hoover every two days! I am currently hoovering at least twice a day (4 dogs which include 3 hairy Goldens) and yet at any time it looks like I haven't hoovered for six months! Don't most people with children hoover every day anyway?

By the way, there are lots of babies in orphanages, but i'm still intending to bear my own. Is that wrong too?

No that's not wrong, but AFAIK unwanted babies in orphanges aren't killed. Unwanted dogs in pounds are.

I appreciate you've taken the point on board but i couldn't not comment on that, sorry.

Ok, good point re: unwanted puppies, thanks, i'll point it out to dh. Midori, I Hoover some rooms every day, but its a very big apartment and would take forever to do the whole thing!

Needle, I hope you don't feel I am shouting at you. I completely agree with you that you could not be expected to know, having not had a dog before, what might be involved in living with one or how the dog might react.

A small recommendation I have is to buy one of those plastic sticks with a ball scoop on the end. They are very cheap in pet shops. You can use them to throw the ball long distances, and as you pick the ball up with the scoop, you don't have to bend down or pick up a foul saliva/mud covered ball. This is really useful if you are out holding a toddler or a baby.

I know a woman who has a baby and a collie. She exercises the collie by standing at the top of a steep hill and just keeps throwing the ball down into the valley below.

millyR we've got one, i'm using it now. He looks very happy!

The fact that the dog's behaviour has changed so much in the last year since you moved in, obviously means that it is to do with what changed then. Was the dog getting much more attention and stimulation? It may also be jealous of your relationship with DH.

Is there someone else who could help look after the dog during the day. You said all DH's family have collies. Could they take the dog for at least some of the time during the day?

The amount of dog hairs and need for hoovering is normal with lots of dogs. Wouldn't help in the short term, but you might want to consider changing your floor coverings e.g. to laminate as it is much more practical with a dog. Either that or accept frequent hoovering or accept carpets covered in dog hairs.

Thats great to hear! I hate seeing sad dogs!

hi,do you have enough room in your garden to build a run with a kennel?doesn't need to be big.your breed is not meant to be a house pet,but at least two big exercises a day,and his own space,he'll be just grand,and won't trash your house.

Have found this thread really, really interesting.

My dog is 4.5 yrs old. I got her when I was at college, my DD was 3 yo. My lord how hard it was, the stress was immense and I had chosen to bring a dog into my life. I now work full time, am a single mum and unfortunately the dog doesn't get half the attention she deserves. I do walk her and she is a happy little thing, if not slightly neurotic!

The neurosis is down to being stuck on her own all day while I'm at work, I've tried chew sticks and bones etc. but she devours them within an hour. I like the idea that I get the Kong thing and stuff it with her food then freeze it. She will absolutely love that - thank you for the idea.

To the OP, I'd be worried about having a highly-strung dog around a toddler. While baby isn't mobile it's no threat to the dog, but once there's a crawling/walking/noisy/grabbing toddler on the prowl - he may get frightened and as others have said it's at that point he could hurt the baby.

My dog is half Lab (not sure what the other half is :) ) She's fab, docile, loves food and bins (don't get me started) and adores our cat. She is also my DD's best mate.

Dogs can be so rewarding, I think if you try and connect with the dog, get involved with the training - show him you're on his side, he may start to relax around you.

Good luck and please update as to what DH says.

I have heard this with border collies, they need lots of exercise and it put me off having one. I have a heinz 57 from the dogs home. Had him from 9 month old pup, house trained, never goes upstairs, yes, he sheds hair but I accept that. Have laminate all downstairs, not allowed on sofa, has his own bed in utility room [his bedroom!].

Basically, your dog has never been given training and rules. It's a bit late now, unless you buy a big cage to leave him at night, like some dogs do. I'm really sorry to hear you are stressed with him. Neutering probably will help a little, don't hold your breath.Your partner will have to take him to training classes and get advice. After all he is his dog, not yours. Then, maybe you can warm to him in the future. It's no fun with a newborn either.

a word of advice,if you want a baby and then a puppy,get the baby first.the dog is a pack animal,and accepts the whole family as his..no conflict.

Can I just echo what Midori said re:neutering?

It is often touted as a "cure all" - especially by vets - but it will NOT cure learned behaviours or, indeed, instil a behaviour that hasn't been taught.

It can also make certain behavioural problems worse.

I know you're not a dog person, OP, but since your DH seems pretty clueless as well it's well worth contacting a behaviourist if your DH won't hear of rehoming the dog. Make sure it's a proper one who uses modern, positive methods. If they mention dominance, alpha, pack leader and/or if they have the words listener, whisperer or similar in their title, run a mile. Oh and avoid Barkbusters like the plague.

I lived with my parents when my DD was born. Their dog was 4 yo, very boisterous but very well trained. We worried about how accepting he would be of the new baby/change to the routine, especially as I was the lowest member of our pack (having not lived in the house for years).

We brought DD home, into her moses basket in the living room and watched on tenterhooks as the dog approached the crib to investigate (I was perched next to it). He looked in, stared, got a puppy look on his face, then lay down at the foot of the basket and guarded her. He adored her and we had no problems at all.

The difference here is that he was settled, it was his home and always had been, he knew me even though I hadn't lived there with him. I think the OP's dog has had huge upheaval and a lack of training from DH. I do think there is hope though, but it's got to come from all of you - not just DH.

Oh, that's a point, until dh moved down to London he never pooed in the house- that's only started in the last year

Tell your Husband to use the loo, the dirty bastard

I rehomed a 4yr old border collie, and my DH had never had a dog before, and wasn't very keen, just like you, Needle.

The poor dog had very similar ishoos to yours.

I found a bc expert in my area, and she and my DH spent a couple of hours together with the dog, when the expert explained about bc behaviour - which is really different from any other breed I've owned.

It was the best £60 we could have spent! Yr husband might listen to neutering advice from an expert, maybe. We also (both) went to training classes with the dog, and we all loved it.

My husband came back from the park today bursting with pride over 'his' dog, and laughing about how a bloke had overheard him saying 'I love you' to the dog. DH and dog absolutely adore each other now, and DH was soooooo anti at first.

When the dog started coming to him for cuddles, my DH's heart was completely melted. So maybe one day soon, you'll be the same.

It can all be turned round - one of the good points is that bc's are REALLY eager to please - so praise/reward techniques work a treat with them, during training. The expert will work with you on the pooing - we found that accompanying ours into the garden and praising him up to the skies when a plop appeared worked wonders. Now he will even poo on command, bless him!

Have had ours nearly eighteen months now, and he is an absolute joy (still can't leave him unattended with a bin, but we work around that one!)

CalamityKate, reading that back, I am suprised you could interpret what I typed at all.

It is sad that people still tout neutering as a 'cure all'. Yes, it is responsible in a lot of cases, but it is not a training aid.

It is also sad that so many people are still listening to/believing in pack theory nonsense. Dogs don't wee on your stuff, poo in your house, chew your stuff, rush through doors or bite your children because they think they are higher in the pecking order than you, the child or anyone else.

I can perfectly understand my husband wanting to mate him.

Well that is what I call an understanding wife, not many would put up with that in a relationship

I feel like you have just wrapped me in a fluffy blanket Midori. I have just had to have yet another bed laundered and I have people from all angles telling me she think she is above me in the pecking order. The fact that she does (almost!!) everything I ask of her has nothing to do with it. And until yesterday I have been wee-free for about 2 weeks I think! Huzzah!

A quick question for both Kate and Midori (and anyone else in the know!).... I always thought Victoria Stillwell was a non-pack theorist, but in a rare half hour sat on my ass watching crap TV earlier today, she based the program on that exact theory. Where does she stand?

The snip! Not a dog person either, but that would be my first port of call. Any reason why your DH is so anti?

Collies are working dogs. They need to feel like they have a purpose in life or they become a massive handful. I suggest that your OH takes the dog to some training classes. Does he have a safe place to go? His own bed or a crate?

Collies make lovely pets once the balance is right. He needs to know who is boss but equally he probably sees you as a bit of a threat. He will pick up on your vibes and it will make him nervous.

First off tho I'd say off with the nuts. (dog not husband!)

YABU - as others have said, it's lack of training which is the problem, not the poor dog.

And Although this was filmed in Ireland the same applies here in England, the ONLY difference being that unwanted strays may ... and very often are... killed seven days after they enter the pound. In both countries' cases dogs who are handed over to the pound by the owner can be by law and so often are killed immediately.

Thousands of dogs die in pounds each year for want of homes. How in all conscience can anyone add to that number by breeding yet more?