To really hate this dog?

[Needle]

I should start by saying that i've never had a dog before, so this might be totally normal, but I need to ask, as i'm rapidly reaching my wits end.

My dh has a border collie, 6 years old, male, not neutered (sp?!). it is the neediest, most neurotic animal you will ever meet, and literally follows dh every step he takes. When dh goes to the loo he sits outside the door and whimpers till he comes out. When he leaves the house he sits by the door and howls for 20minutes. We can't leave any doors open, ever because he simply goes into a room, trashes it looking for food (he's perfectly well fed) then pisses on the wreckage. His favourite trick is to push against the bedroom or kitchen door till it opens then either go through the bin and shower rubbish everywhere or roll on our bed, so I'm having to change the sheets several times a week. He sheds like you wouldn't believe, I Hoover every other day and have to empty the cleaner everytime because it fills so fast.
Despite bring walked 4 times a day, if dh is half an hour late with his morning walk he'll simply s**t in the house. He bashes his way into our room every night and tries to get into bed with us and basically, I hate him. Is this what all dogs are like? I've got enough excrement to deal with from my 6m old daughter. This is pushing me over the edge!

Ok, to me 2hrs on the lead is not enough exercise. Poor dog, he has been bred to run all day long and he is only ever allowed to trot along slowly on a lead.

Would your DH consider rehoming him? It really doesn't sound like a suitable home for the dog and he will just get worse unless all of the issues are addressed. And I really don't want to give you the heebies (or put even more of a downer on the dog) but I don't think that a neurotic, under-exercised and disobediant dog is a good mix with a small child. I feel so very sorry for this dog.

He sounds as though he is missing your DH terribly and he can feel that you don't like him,and that's making him more nervous.Could you try engaging with him more? Walking him sometimes,giving him toys to play with etc? I feel very bothered that he's never off the lead,that sounds cruel to me,for a collie.He would probably be far happier with one long off lead walk,Why can't you let him off in the park?
If you try and build a relationship with him,he might relax a bit,and you might find you start to like him more.Borders are amazing dogs when they are happy and stimulated,they are so clever it is uncanny.

Ok, put it that way and it sounds medieval! He cleans up all dog crap, I never have to do that. Likewise I never do 'his" jobs, taking bins out for example (a long walk where we live!) I absolutely do not come after the dog, but to be fair- he's had the dog 5 years longer than me, and I would never ask him to get rid of him. If I dont want him around in the evening, he'll always shut the dog out of the room etc.
Wrt to having clearly defined jobs, don't most houses? He works all day, so im not going to get into a row over what he should be doing when he gets home. I don't like men doing housework, it gives me the creeps. Personal pecadillo, that's all.

callisto I meant never ON the lead, sorry

Aaaaw seriously dogs are lovely, you shouldn't keep a dog in a flat though that is just mean. Dogs need gardens so they can go at will not when just taken out.

Needle

Wasn't going to post, but seeing your last post.... You CANNOT keep a dog on the lead at all times, CANNOT.

Sorry, don't mean to shout, but that is verging on an animal welfare issue. Dogs run and walk faster than people and need to burn off energy. Imagine if you were only allowed to leave the house attached to a rope carried by someone who walked much slower than you who didn't want to go to all the places you did?

You need, imo, to find a wood or field or somewhere where you can let the dog off to run free. My dog is a golden retriever and they are much more placid than collies, but if I treated her like that, she would go crazy within a few days.

The dog is bored and has far too much energy and far too little stimulation. Please start walking him properly, or your DH should - or you should try to rehome him.

I'd also second the suggestion of agility lessons. They burn off lots of energy, keep the dog interested, and are also a great way for you to bond with him a bit. They also provide 'tricks' which you can do with the dog in the garden, house, or on a walk, which varies the pace a bit and gives the dog an interest.

But please do something about this - I feel very sorry for that poor animal

I repeat: stupid typo, dog is never on the lead, gets at least 4 30m walks per day, totally off the lead.

I repeat, its mean to keep a dog without a garden.

Dogs go to the back doors which lead onto a garden when they want to go to the toilet, no wonder he is shitting indoors if he cannot go out when he needs to go.

Needle, sorry just saw your correction

Would still advocate agility lessons and if you're not willing to then rehome. It is not about being nasty to your DH and taking his dog away. It is about the dog's happiness and welfare.

Also think you should get him snipped; it has made a huge difference to my mum's DP's very boisterous male dogs.

Maybe you can try fewer long walks? 30 min is not that long, tbh: we take ours for 1x20 min bathroom break, 1 x 90 min, and then 1 x 30 min in the evening. Not that much difference timewise, but the dog does have the one walk to tire itself out in.

Woooaaahh! You don't like men doing housework? It gives you the creeps?!

Well ok, that is bizarre but I can't rightly think of anything to say except

Enjoy all the dog hair then. Loads of hoovering, so that will be fun for you. Lol!

Anyway - I don't think the dog's bad behaviour is just due to missing your dh, although that will be a factor....I think the dog also views your dh as his master, whereas you are another member of the pack and not one that issues orders either.

I really recommend that you and dh go to a train class with the dog, together. That dog needs trained, your dh has to be made aware that the behaviour is not acceptable, and the dog also needs to learn that you are in charge too. Classes will help solve all of these issues. Good luck!

Please don't bring your DD up to think that men doing housework is creepy. She will have a lifetime of drudgery ahead of her if you do.

As for the dog, clearly the 2hrs exercise isn't doing enough so either you need to do more or different. What about training/games when out on a walk? Retrieving games (make dog sit, hide something in undergrowth, encourage dog to find) are fun for dogs and will build a bond up between you too. Also take a ball with you and keep throwing it for him. Find out about agility classes in your area, it is great fun.

But I think your main problem isn't the dog, it's your husband. No doubt he won't get the dog neutered because he sees it as a reflection of his masculinity or some such bullshit. I would take with a pinch of salt how well behaved his other dogs were as well.

Oh, we do have a biggest yard btw, where he can go whenever he wants, but I think he thinks he's being punished because he just cries to come back in. A couple of. Times he's cried to come in, the done a poo, then gone back out again!

fantoosh I know its weird, but I really don't like it. Men in marigolds and babies in makeup. Urgh.

I feel sorry for your dog as well, although I appreciate with a new baby you have other priorities. My partner grew up in a farm with collies and tbh thinks its cruel to have a collie as a pet unless you are giving it lots and lots of attention and stimulation.

Neutering a dog can calm a dog down, but it won't solve all your issues. You can buy puzzles that you can put food inside. That would be good for a collie as it will make it work and alleviate the boredom. It also doesn't take much time to do.

You basically need to think of this dog as a demanding toddler. It would be U to expect a toddler to entertain themselves for long periods of time. And if you did, they would create havoc. If one "parent" was giving the toddler more attention but was out at work during the day, then the toddler would be at risk of becoming very clingy with the working parent.

It really is not the dogs fault. But if you could find things, such as the puzzle to hide food in, that would challenge the collie, then this would help a lot.

BTW for some dogs 2 hours walk off the lead would be more than enough. For collies it really isn't enough. I know your DH says his other collies have been fine, but I'm sure that without a baby around they were getting much more attention than this collie.

You can train a dog to sleep downstairs when it was initially unwilling.

Callisto ahem. I don't live a life of drudgery, thank you. My husband does more than his share around the house, I just don't like him cleaning.

Urgh. Biggish yard. Sorry, typing on a phone.

Why would your OH not get the dog snipped? Poor dog and poor you actually. Back to basics needed there

Your other option is to ask around or even advertise locally for an older teen who is not allowed to have a dog at home but could share yours. They could then give the dog the time and exercise it needs.

Don't know, but the poo inside the house may be an anxiety issue. A dog trainer may be able to help you with this.

BTW the dog will be able to sense you don't like him and this will increase his anxiety. If you really want to tackle this, you need to try and build up a more positive relationship with this dog.

Tbh, I think he might be hoping to mate him. He's a very handsome dog and all his family always have collies.

Needle, the backyard thing is common to many dogs - they are social animals, like humans. Imagine if someone said to you, 'Right, feel a bit cabin feverish? Need some exercise? Out in the yard you go, by yourself!'

It is not interesting or stimulating for the dog, and also of course he doesn't know how long he will be left there.

Seriously, classes. It can also be very rewarding training a dog and might help you to develop some sympathy with him.

For someone who has never owned a dog before, you certainly have been thrown in at the deep end. I own border collies and they are high maintenance. As well as physical exercise, your dog needs to be given a "job" and activities to keep his clever canine brain busy.

Training collies is NOT easy because their brains have a tendency to go too fast to focus. It takes persistence. It is not good enough for your DH to give up on his dog's training because he didn't seem to get it. If his method of training isn't working, he needs to seek help from another trainer. Has he tried clicker training? There are lots of clicker training videos on the internet (try Karen Pryor). This sort of training really appeals to clever collies!

In the meantime, I would do 2 things: 1) go to the doghouse section of MN and ask for help from Minimu1. She is a professional behaviourist, trainer and experienced border collie owner; and 2) feed your dog from a filled kong to buy yourself some peace. If his food is dry, soak it in warm water, squeeze out the extra water and fill a large kong with it. Plug the hole at the top of the kong with primula cheese/ peanut butter and freeze. It will keep your dog busy for hours!

I do feel for you - a baby and a well behaved dog is difficult enough. It sounds like a very tough situation.

lesley33 dog walker, genius idea, thank you!

I would definitely invest in some stair gates to stop him trashing your house and going upstairs.

I also think if you are there all day then you might have to get on board with the training and walking.

Collie's need to use their brains, just walking won't be doing that.
Even a basically trained dog won't shit everywhere and wreak the house. That's one of the first things you teach a puppy!

I'd advise going back to basics with him. Get your DH to join a local dog training class, where they follow the KC Good citizen dog Tests. And get some advice from the instructors.
Once you have some basic obedience in place, teach him some tricks/fun stuff and yes, agility would be great.
Saying the dog just didn't take to training is daft. He hasn't been trained at all!

As for the dog hair....get used to hoovering or learn to live with it.

Oh, that's a point, until dh moved down to London he never pooed in the house- that's only started in the last year.