To think that fussy eaters are ill mannered

[reallytired]

Ie. The sort of child who will eat carrots one day and then in two weeks time tell you that they don't like carrots.

The sort of child who will not even try something new. Or their parent tells you that their pfb only likes beans cut in a particular way.

Don't you think that faddy children or adults are spoilt brats in seriously need of decent parenting?

YABU! My DD is a fussy little madam at the best of times, i don't adhere to this and cook what i cook, if she doesn't eat it, she goes without & gets no pudding.

It may be harsh, and yes she's funny about trying new things. I don't make a fuss about it. Yes it upsets me sometimes good food goes to waste. Doesn't mean my child is a brat though. Far from it, she's polite about what she doesn't like, and has excellent table manners.

We all have foods we don't like. Deal with it!

When she goes to friends for tea, she does as she would at home, and leaves anything she doesn't like at the side of the plate without a fuss, says please and thank you as she should, and apologizes for what she leaves. Can't say it's fairer than that!

She's a kid ffs!

i have 3 kids 2 of them will eat anything but my middle daughter was born fussy but shes a big meat eater and loves salad ,pasta,cerial,apples,grapes etc so we get by without to much fuss.

but she hates veg, bread,cakes,puddings etc i do make some allowances for her but mostly i have a thats what you have for dinner attitude and dont allow her to call the shots.

YABU. DD1 would eat everything, and I was so smug about it. Then along came DS, who only eats about different meals. But I do encourage him to say no thank you, or I'm not hungry if offered something he doesn't eat, not yuck, or that's disgusting. I live in hope of the day that he'll discover that there's a whole wonderful world of taste to be discovered.

I don't care if kids are fussy, if they don't want to eat something that's fine. I do expect "I don't like that, thank you" or even just "no thank you", though. Any child who thinks Yuk is acceptable clearly hasn't been taught decent manners. I also think that expecting a list of alternatives until they find something acceptable incredibly rude and it says a lot about how much they are pandered to at home.

I don't invite rude fussy eaters back and tell my kids why. I will happily cook a special diet from scratch with everything out of a freshly opened packet for children with proper food allergies though and my kids know that too.

I think there is a big difference between being a fussy eater and being rude to your hosts, and that it is very important that parents with fussy children should drill them in how to deal with it politely.

Personally, I don't take offense if a visiting child won't eat something I offer. But I think there is no excuse for a child above the age of 4 to say "yuck" or "that's disgusting" or "I don't like your food, mrs X" or "I only eat X brand". When I come across 10yos who have obviously never been taught how to handle their little failings in public, I do notice it and I do judge the parents. As I would expect to be judged if my children of a similar age were rude round somebody else's house.

I think adults underestimate the amount of control they have over the food they eat. Most of us choose what we have to eat at most meals. The occasional dinner party aside, most people choose what they have in their sandwich at lunch, or what cereal they have at breakfast. OK, we might choose based on what is healthy and good for us, but we make the decision. Sometimes I think parents forget that.

But rudeness is rudeness wherever it is - at the table or elsewhere. There is no need for it just because it is about food. DS (3.5) has a very limited diet. We are working on it. But one of the important things we've been working on is leaving food on his plate that he doesn't like, saying no thank you politely and just sitting at the table chatting and enjoying being with people. So he might not eat anything when he goes to people's houses but firstly I warn them and ask them to just ignore it and secondly he isn't rude about it.

FGS, it's not difficult.

Unless it is 'off', no food is going to harm any of us.

Some parents are weak, that is all.

Kids are like that. They will eat something today and not eat it next week. I don't think it's rude.

I do agree that older children refusing to eat practically everything are very irritating and would expect them to have grown out of it by a certain age. I also get irritated by adults who recoil in horror at anything with a sauce on it, refuse to eat 'foreign food' and only want to go to restaurants that serve burgers, steak and chicken.

oh i dunno most kids seem to be pretty fussy when they eat at someone else's house as far as i can tell

doesn't bother me any more
they get fish fingers chips and peas, I've learned not to risk anything more adventurous

"FGS, it's not difficult.

Unless it is 'off', no food is going to harm any of us.

Some parents are weak, that is all."

What a load of ignorant bollocks.

OP YABU. Being rude about not wanting to eat particular foods is ill-mannered; not liking them or the foods making them ill but the child telling you so politely is NOT.

thumbdawitch - how I will ever recover from you (a stranger on a website) thinking this of me is hard to fathom....

pascoe stop being a dick

Some children do genuinely have food phobias that are not a result of bad/lazy parenting.

My DS was one of these children. He is now much better than he used to be.
My DD's however will eat anything.
I've treated them all the same, fed them the same diet etc.

pascoe....some people, as proven, have very strong taste senses and therefore cannot eat certain foods. Whilst my children eat all veg and fruit, meat and fish as dry stand alone food, my oldest child cannot even eat a ginger biscuit without feeling his tongue is on fire.

I can understand how some people might feel this way, OP. BUT if you have struggled with bringing up a very "fussy" eater you might be more sympathetic. It has been a long battle to get DS1 to try things. I am a firm but thoughtful parent, and my children are not spoilt.

I agree with what cory says though - if your child is fussy you do have to ensure your child is not rude

Pascoe you are an arse.

Some foods will kill some people - anyone who has an anaphylactic reaction to foods may die. So bollocks to your comments.

Should add, it's a battle we are winning - he was food phobic as a toddler - has very acute sense of smell and can taste nuances that others can't.

pascoe hasn't got the imagination to understand anything he hasn't experienced himself

op YABU

how do you get a child to eat something they don't want to?

Here's some advice for parents of fussy eaters

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/725137-HELP

pascoe,

"Unless it is 'off', no food is going to harm any of us."

Thanks for letting me know this . That would be why my ds2 carries an epipen, due to a severe dairy allergy, then. Having sat next to him in an ambulance at 6 months old, the first time he had a taste of yoghurt, with the paramedics unable to reassure me that he would be OK, I am only too aware that some food can kill some people. He had an allergic reaction to touching the conveyor belt in a supermarket where milk had previously been split (and wiped up).

I do hope that none of your children develops a life-threatening allergy to anything, especially nothing so ubiquitous as dairy. But hey ho, I'm sure it won't kill anyone will it .

'This crap starts in childhood and is easily sorted by not letting a child leave the table until he/she has cleared their plate'.

yeah my mum did this to me and it scarred me for life, in fact it contributed to an eating disorder when I was 10.

It is not 'easily sorted' by not letting a child leave the table.

Its bloody cruel and a form of force feeding.

Im in 2 minds about this.

YABU to over generalise, some people are fussy eaters but still try to be polite and make peoples lives easier when they are preparing food for them. I use my Dad as an example for this he is a fussy eater but will still cook anything for anyone else and will either politley say 'i'm not keen on xyz' or have a quiet word with the host to say 'would you mind if I don't have xyz'

YANBU when you get people who are fussy eaters and make a big song and dance about it. One teen I once had the unplesant task of catering for has a full blown stop over 1 piece of Sweetcorn he found in his dinner..., he was rund ('I am not eating this) and made life pretty hard for the hour of dinner he was with us.

I was a fussy child. In retrospect probably aided by the fact that my mother is a terrible cook and most of what we got fed tasted dreadful.

As an adult I eat pretty well but there are a few things I'm not keen on and would avoid eating when out (brussel sprouts/ cabbage, uncooked tomatoes and oysters) however if I get served them I just leave them untouched on my plate.

I expect other adults to do the same although will often ask beforehand so I avoid the problem I had of serving tomato& red pepper soup, followed by chilli and then chocolate pudding to a friend who avoids tomatoes & chocolate as they trigger migraine! ]

I am also really good at remembering my friend's food allergies but then cocking up at the last moment (eg. by putting cashew nut containing pesto in the salad dressing to make it taste better). Poor friend who comes here most often has had bacon sandwiches for dinner a number of times because I've slipped up. Here I think it is me that is being rude and inconsiderate not them.