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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to send this letter to DS (Yr8) History teacher

135 replies

notapushy1 · 25/01/2011 21:31

Parents Evening is coming up and one teacher has said he doesn't need to see me.
OK, I know DS is doing OK, but that's not the point. AIBU to send this letter?

Dear X

I have been looking forward to Parents Evening for some time, and am therefore
pleased with DS' keen efforts to secure an appointment time with all his teachers,
almost all of whom are different to those he had last year.
I was therefore very disappointed to learn that you did not feel the need to discuss DS
progress with me and chose not to allocate a time slot.

Of course I understand the huge pressures all teachers are under with targets and admin and realise they are overworked and underpaid.
DS enjoys your lessons very much and I am grateful for your efforts as he is clearly learning.
I can fully appreciate why you might wish to spend the limited time you have on Thursday night talking with the parents
of children who are having serious difficulties, whose studies may not be overseen by a doting graduate mum...

But given that XXXX is such an enormous office-like institution with precious few opportunities to talk to teachers
I am keenly anticipating the Parent's Evening as a chance to disabuse myself of the notion that it might be an impersonal
exam factory, concerned with more the punctuality and attire of future wage slaves than nurturing pupils and individualising
learning so that each pupil is stretched and intellectually challenged.

I welcome Parent's Evening as a two-way process and a valuable opportunity to:
-Put a name to a face,
-To have greater insight into the nature of lessons by meeting the lesson-giver face-to-face
-To ask questions eg how is he doing in relation to his peers, does he contribute to discussions, recommendations for homework websites etc
-To reinforce the notion that there is partnership between parent and teacher and that both sides take their roles seriously

I look forward to being able to talk to you

OP posts:
Rafaella · 25/01/2011 21:41

It will be pinned up on the staff notice board to cheer everyone up

JoBettany · 25/01/2011 21:42

Oh well, if it's for staff morale I think you should send it.

Serendippy · 25/01/2011 21:43

Oh I missed 'doting graduate mum' as well, now I know it is a pisstake Grin

roomonthebroom · 25/01/2011 21:44

I missed the 'doting graduate mum' which does make you sound a bit loopy TBH. FWIW I have a friend who used to write similar letters but referred to herself as 'fond mama' in a very self depricating way. It always worked for her- she is also a teacher.

QueenLaQueefer · 25/01/2011 21:44

Arf.

Precocious much?

Is your DC an only child perchance?

notrightnow · 25/01/2011 21:45

Why is your child at this school if you consider it such a ghastly place?

Don't send the letter - it makes you seem deranged.

Vallhala · 25/01/2011 21:45

"I can fully appreciate why you might wish to spend the limited time you have on Thursday night talking with the parents
of children who are having serious difficulties, whose studies may not be overseen by a doting graduate mum."

Please extract your head from your arse and have a look at what you've written. You're going to be a laughing stock if you send that.

Best,

Val (doting graduate mum, qualified referee and member of the RSPB). :o

Shallishanti · 25/01/2011 21:45

this is your pfb I take it? another year or so in secondary school and you will be more than happy to be excused an appointment
give the teacher a break, don't send the letter....if you do you will wake up one morning in a cold sweat of embarassment, but it will be too late then!

Merrylegs · 25/01/2011 21:46

"I can fully appreciate why you might wish to spend the limited time you have on Thursday night talking with the parents
of children who are having serious difficulties, whose studies may not be overseen by a doting graduate mum..."

Actually you have hit the nail on the head here. The teacher will be more concerned with seeing either the strugglers or the Gifted and Talented. It should be obvious therefore that your DS is neither, which probably tells you all you need to know. I am sure if you rang the school and asked to speak to the teacher concerned they would ring you back, actually.

Megglevache · 25/01/2011 21:46

I think you have ommited

Stakeholders
Added value
Drill down
Bandwidth
Blue sky thinking
pulling my pud???

Just a suggestion

Shallishanti · 25/01/2011 21:46

also a graduate mum with 4 at secondary school AND a teacher, btw

Hassled · 25/01/2011 21:47

I'm a graduate mum, but I fear I maybe haven't been doting enough. I resolve to do better.

Tryharder · 25/01/2011 21:47

Nah. Send it. It's funny and well written and will give the staffroom a laugh as someone said earlier. I love letters like these.

liquiditytrap · 25/01/2011 21:47

Do you have a life?

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 21:48

Excellent post Vallhala

Pag ( doting A level mum, top quality packer and purveyor of Common Sense)

cantspel · 25/01/2011 21:48

send it just so the teachers can make allowances for your son when he does any thing strange or weird as they will be be able to put it down to having a complete nutter of a mother

mumbar · 25/01/2011 21:49

The letter might be extremely a bit OTT.

I would just get DS to say, mum would like an appointment but says if you can't do parents evening heres her email, could you arrange another appointment.

Afterall - it is a partnership between parent and teacher. Grin

ninah · 25/01/2011 21:49

Grin wind up, right?

emy72 · 25/01/2011 21:49

Oh dear. It sounds incredibly rude and confrontational. It's the sort of thing you'd write to vent and then throw in the bin.

Only place for it, I'm afraid.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 21:49

Hassled
I dote but my qualifications are sub standard so I might as well give up.

Can you help me with my Latin mum..
'Fuck me, no ' I gush.

FudgeGirl · 25/01/2011 21:50

Piss take much? Gosh, they know how to get a bite round here!

jenga079 · 25/01/2011 21:51

Oh please send it and I really hope it's to a teacher at my school because I can't wait to see the letter pop up on the staffroom wall!

Seriously, you do have a right to communicate with your child's teachers and if you feel you're not getting that you should certainly ask to see them (quick note in the student planner?), but I have to admit that in the past I have told children I don't 'need' to see their parents as I will just say how well they are doing (although I do always make it clear they can see me if they need to). Is it an 'all years' parents evening or does the teacher have lots of groups in your son's year group? If so, all of his slots may simply already be full. Most of us teach over 300 pupils a week so simply couldn't see all parents on one night.

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/01/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Spamspamspam · 25/01/2011 21:51

Ha ha definately a wind up - good one! Grinlove the name as well nicely confirms the wind up

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 25/01/2011 21:51

Oh God that's funny, NotaPushy1!!

In all seriousness, do not send that, even in jest. You sound like a complete loon. Just ask the poor man for an appointment - or not, given that your (pfb?) DS is doing OK, by your own admission.

Who would be a teacher?!