Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my 6 year old on an overnight school trip?

103 replies

WimpleOfTheBallet · 25/01/2011 19:58

Or am I being too protective? She's starting a new school in a couple of weeks and the head told me that they have a one night overnight trip in April...year 2....is this really really young for that kind of thing?

DD will only have been going to the school for a couple of months but I read that it takes 6 weeks for them to settle...so she MIGHT be ok...but even then....Hmm

He told me that if a child's parentsdont want them to go overnight then they can go for the day activities....its not far away.

I just dont' see the point of it? He said they have overnights ever year and by the time they are ten they go to france....

This is a state school..is this usual so young...and more to the point do I send her?

OP posts:
Portofino · 26/01/2011 11:44

I would ask her, and certainly spin it in a positive light.

My 6 yo has been off for an entire week with a kid's holiday club on several occasions and always has a fantastic time. She especially likes sleeping in a "dormitory" (too much Enid Blyton) But some of her friends would not be happy about doing this at all.

JamieLeeCurtis · 26/01/2011 11:46

My 6 year old has been on an overnight Beavers trip and loved it, but I know it would not suit every child. Try to put your own feelings aside (it is hard), be positive, and go with what she wants to do.

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 26/01/2011 11:50

I went away at 6 and was okay-ish, some girls couldn't handle it and had to be collected.
Before deciding I'd check their policy on mobile phone etc? I wasn't allowed to phone my mum and got very distressed.

Lamorna · 26/01/2011 12:07

I really don't see it as a problem, either she wants to do it or she doesn't and you fit in either way, I can't see why the parent's feelings are important.

Hulababy · 26/01/2011 14:03

Oh, please don't ask to go as a parent helper. If she is going overnight, it ought to be without you. Most schools wouldn't want overnight parent helpers on a reidential ime - would unsettle children to much.

Lamorna · 26/01/2011 16:01

A parent helper is worst of both options, either go or not go but don't go with her! (I would be surprised if they gave that option anyway).

kodokan · 26/01/2011 17:11

My DD went on an overnight school trip with her kindergarden class aged 5 (Swiss state school). It went fabulously well. Coming from the UK, I was a bit Shock but decided that it must all work out ok else they wouldn't keep doing it year after year.

They all had a great time and loved the feeling of independence and achievement; you could see how proud of themselves they all were.

It's only one night - even if they get a bit wobbly at bedtime, the teachers will be used to it and will remind them that they will see Mummy and Daddy tomorrow. Apparently my DD was a bit feeble at bedtime, and 'insisted' on her teacher laying next to her for company until she was asleep! Which her lovely, lovely teacher obligingly did - lucky that sort of thing isn't considered at all suspect over here!

She was in a room with 3 friends, and they loved all waking up together in the morning and rollicking around, sharing their books and cuddly toys, etc.

I really wouldn't mention the 'if you change your mind, we'll come and get you'. I think that would take away their sense of achievement and feeling of ability to cope, which you can big up massively afterwards. It's one night; worst case they'll be a bit tired the next day.

I see that the new school is a complicating factor, but they really do settle quickly (my son had had 4 primaries by the age of 8) as it's such a major part of their life. All the classroom talk and pre/post trip work will give the trip a real buzz and she'll soon hook into that.

Hope it goes well, whatever you both decide to do.

LadyTremaine · 26/01/2011 17:15

My DD would be ready for this, she could do it now at 4.
It depends on your child I guess but my suggestion would be that now is the time to start letting her try these things, if she wants to do it, because you have to start somewhere.

Surely if the school arranges such things they are professionals and know what an average child of that age can cope with?

I'd be relishing a quiet night!

LadyTremaine · 26/01/2011 17:16

sorry, she's 5, not 4!

JamieLeeCurtis · 26/01/2011 17:46

I do agree with kokodan that, given the opportunity, there are so many benefits to children taking their first steps to independence. It's one of the nicest things about being a parent - seeing them off a bit wobbly, but then getting them back all proud of themselves

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 26/01/2011 17:57

Well LadyTremaine I also have a 2 year old so unless I sneak her into DD1's bag...there's no chance of a quiet night!

Also...no professional knows what my child is able to cope with as well as I do.

OP posts:
belgo · 26/01/2011 17:59

My children's (Belgium) school have an overnight trip for when the children are 5 or 6; it;s wonderful, the children have a great time.

I know children to go away for five nights at this age on camps.

JamieLeeCurtis · 26/01/2011 18:01

Wimple - actually - I have learned that I'm sometimes wrong about what my children are capable of - from thinking my then 2 year old PFB couldn't drink out of a cup on his first day at playgroup, to thinking my DS2 wouldn't want to go away on camp.

But you do have to trust the people they are with

PixieOnaLeaf · 26/01/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

keepingupwiththejoneses · 26/01/2011 18:19

Kids at this age go away for the weekend a few times a year with things like beavers and rainbows so one night a year away is not such a bad thing.

defineme · 26/01/2011 18:27

All the schools in my catchment area do this in year 2 and then 2 nights in year 4.

My ds has mild autism and I just drove him over for the 2 days when he was in year 1. However, he was the only child who did this - all the rest stayed overnight.

Now he's in year 4 and since year 2 has stayed with his grandparents he decided to stay and loved it.

Don't be afraid to keep her home if that's what you feel is right fot her. Could you afford to pay and then just withdraw her from the overnight bit if that's what she wants nearer the time?

Things have changed since we were at school, but it's not all bad and they do lots of fun things that they couldn't do if they weren't there for 2 days.

I do know that many children stayed awake late into the night and were wildly overexcited-I felt sorry for the teachers!

Hulababy · 26/01/2011 18:35

What has your DD said about it? How does she feel?

Portofino · 26/01/2011 20:56

Never EVER tell them that if they are upset you will come and get them. My dsis used to tell my nephews when they stayed with me that they could call anytime - even in the middle of the night. I refused to do that unless there was an emergency. (There never was) And they were fine with a little chat and a cuddle. It is wrong to give them that expectation. And after 5 mins wobble they were always fine.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 21:01

With dd, first time she went away (for 3 days), she said to me that if she missed me, she just looked inside her head, and could see me and knew that I was thinking about her. That made me blub a little.

LadyTremaine · 27/01/2011 10:40

Hmm... I'm not so sure about knowing better than professionals what your child can cope with. I mean, obviously as parents we do know our children better but when it comes to their ability to be independant I think there are often to many emotions in the way to make a decision on some things.

If that many 'professionls' deem it suitable for an entire class to go away and most of the parents are happy with this then why is your child any different?
Unless they are less capable in some way than the others. But surely then the teachers would be aware of this fact and have discussed it with you?

op sorry it won't mean a free evening for you though either way!

freshmint · 27/01/2011 10:42

No, I wouldn't send mine at 6 and they wouldn't want to go

they don't have sleepovers at that age they will only go to grannies

I can't see any reason why a 6 year old needs to go on an overnight school trip tbh

LadyTremaine · 27/01/2011 10:44

To give their mums a rest? Grin

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 27/01/2011 10:50

LadyT...I wouldnt say that MOST parents would be happy with it...this thread appears to be 50-50 for and aginst.

And I DO know her better than any pro. of COURSE I do! I'm her Mother.

OP posts:
wheelsonthebus · 27/01/2011 10:52

I think it's too young. My ds had a sleepover at 6 and it didn't go too well and I think they are too young. 8/9 maybe.

LadyTremaine · 27/01/2011 11:14

I only assumed most parents were happy with it as the school have probably done this before and it has worked.. two assumptions there though so apologies if i'm wrong.

Mind you, my DD has sleep overs at 4 and 5 and I have had her little friends over many times. I guess its what theyre used to.

Swipe left for the next trending thread