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AIBU?

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Original poster

To report two infant age children walking to school alone

566 replies

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 10:36

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

OP posts:
straightoutofthebottomdrawer · 25/01/2011 12:34

You are still missing the point that being sent off to walk to school alone at far too young an age can be (and in some cases is) a symptom of neglect in itself. Not always, but sometimes.

AuntieMaggie · 25/01/2011 12:36

YADNBU - I know where you're talking about and I would also have done something.

I think it depends on where the school is, how far they have to walk, etc, etc.

Punkatheart · 25/01/2011 12:38

Yes - talking to children is never an option. It is the same reason why I didn't approach the little boy I saw this morning. It is sad - yes - but a realistic aspect of our suspicious modern life.

Also - I don't agree that neat children equal non-neglected children. Some kids in chaotic households react by being very very tidy - controlling the only thing they can. Some perfectly loved children also can look as if they have been through a hedge backwards.....you cannot judge appearances...

belgo · 25/01/2011 12:41

Good points punkathearts. Of course not all neglected children look like a typical neglected child.

And it's perfectly possible to teach children how to cross the road safely without expecting them to do it safely at age 6 and 4.

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 12:42

The school was engaged for the best part of an hour, I rang a duty of care team after asking the Ss who was best to deal with it...

Perhaps I am mistaken but wouldn't the first port of call for the duty if care team be the school?

The boys were walking on a very bust road, which they had to cross and the road they were walking on is very rough....lots of tiny children playing at the side of the road without parental supervision, five year old shouting 'fuck off' when I drove by on a number of occasions.

I think in the absence of being able to know anymore than seeing two little boys in a potentially dangerous situation I thought I would rather pass it on than ;leave it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 12:43

I did ask the children a question, but felt very uncomfortable as I am a stranger. I just asked if they were walking alone and when they said yes I said be careful.

OP posts:
goingforit · 25/01/2011 12:44

I've seen posts on this forum criticising 17 year olds alone at university open days.

I've also seen posts criticising parents for taking 17 year olds to university open days.

Therefore point is - we all have differing standards, differing comfort zones regarding our children.

Some people criticise helicopter parenting, some criticise independence, but this is definitely not a case for social services. It's a case of someone else's parenting being different to OP's. Two children walking to school without a parent. Height and size of child is not always comparable with age. I am astounded by all this and actually when I was ill and child had to take himself to school, it would have been nice if some parent had asked, is mum okay. Phoning social services as opposed to school or enquiring, is just not right.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 25/01/2011 12:44

" If you cant be arsed to walk your children to school then don't bloody have children."

hmmm - thanks for that. DS1 first started walking next door to school when I was very unwell. It wasn't lazyness on my behalf. Once I was better I told him I'd take him to school and he wanted to carry on going on his own as he enjoyed it.

When DS2 started school he wanted to walk with DS1 from the start (I said no) - part way through reception he asked again, I weighed up the risks, and how well I know DS2 and let him.

I shall apply the same principles to DS3 (although now it's a little further and they have to cross a road he'll have to wait until he's at least YR1 before I consider it). When he asks, and I feel he's ready for it I'll let DS2 walk him across as DS1 does now for DS2

(DS1 by that point will be getting himself across town, onto the train and to the next town for senior school).

mamatomany · 25/01/2011 12:45

Yes - talking to children is never an option.

Really ? I'm sorry but I do talk to children, if I have my own with me so they know I am a mum.

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 25/01/2011 12:46

'I did ask the children a question'

that's good Posie. The only way to fight this culture of suspicion is to stand up against it.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 25/01/2011 12:46

and FWIW from YR3 (in the junior school) we are encouraged to start letting our children walk at least part of the way to school on their own.

Idontbelieveanymore · 25/01/2011 12:46

This reminds me of something I saw as a child on the way to school with my brother (I was aged 7 and my brother 9). My brother had walked ahead into school, I saw two younger siblings walking to school and I saw a car pull up beside them. A man got out, picked up the kids (who were shouting) and bundled them in the back and drove off. I ran into school, crying with fear and told my teacher. Obviously they took it very seriously but later told me that all children were present and no missing children so I guess it was a father. It upset me for a long time. It brought home to me how easy it is for someone to take a child. NO ONE else reported it. If it had have been an abductor - no one saw who it was and those children may have been gone forever.
I would never send my daughter alone to school before she was old enough to shout, defend herself, take a mobile and walk with friends. It is not worth the risk I feel.

mamatomany · 25/01/2011 12:47

lots of tiny children playing at the side of the road without parental supervision

Well that is what I would have been reporting personally.

SkyBluePearl · 25/01/2011 12:48

Bristol and two small children on their own. Not a great idea.

sherby · 25/01/2011 12:50

No need to phone SS or the HT for that matter.

Some parents don't believe in wrapping children up in cotton wool and try to teach them independence, so they don't get to 16 and need mummy to read the bus timetable for them.

I would be livid if I was pulled up for letting my DC walk to school on their own because someone else didn't think it was ok. What business is it of yours? They weren't crying, looking lost, walking in the road, dirty or under-dressed. Calling SS is beyond a joke

boohoohoo · 25/01/2011 12:50

Why did you not go and speak to someone at the school when you dropped your dcs off? Someone would have been able to talk to you without doubt!! You saw too children walking to school on their own, nothing else, no facts. talking to the school would have been the sensible option and then they could have decided what action to take with any other knowledge they might have. I was ps teacher in central London and many siblings walk to school on their own, it's for the parents and school go decide on which policy to use.

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 12:50

I have to say the risk of harm was evident, crossing a busy road with the older sibling having to look after a younger sibling is 'harm'.

Poor mother??? Really we're more concerned about a poor mother than vulnerable children?

OP posts:
goingforit · 25/01/2011 12:53

But why have you given yourself the name 'PosieParker?' It smacks of nosey parker, which you obviously must imagine you are. If you were so convinced you were right, you wouldn't call yourself such a name.

FabbyChic · 25/01/2011 12:54

I always dropped my son off on the way to work until he was 10. When he was 10 a gang of hoodies moved in near the school and were taxing children on their way in, he got a lift until he finished!

sherby · 25/01/2011 12:54

Why is crossing a busy road with a younger sibling 'harm'?

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 12:55

I have four dcs and this morning took my nephew, that's three drop offs....going back to a school instead of making a phone call when I have housework and a life to lead is ridiculous.

And I haven't commented on how they were dressed or what they looked like, at all. Surely if I put that they looked rough, dirty etc people would accuse me of being prejudiced.

I walked to school part way from about seven, just up the road, and at nine I nearly got run over as I was being silly..thank God the driver was vigilant and really cross with me!

OP posts:
BaroqueAroundTheClock · 25/01/2011 12:55

"Poor mother??? Really we're more concerned about a poor mother than vulnerable children?"

Well - it depends really. If they are walking because she's in the same sort of state I was when I very first started letting DS1 go next door to school - then yes - I would be concerned about her. I should add - my DS1 didn't have far to walk (was literally next door) though so not along busy streets etc.

Original poster
ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 12:57

goingforit....I like the name.

OP posts:
SparkleSoiree · 25/01/2011 12:57

Society should care about the family unit as a whole.

waitwhat · 25/01/2011 12:58

..going back to a school instead of making a phone call when I have housework and a life to lead is ridiculous.
so the poor deprived kids while clearly neglected were less important than housework?[bhmm]