To report two infant age children walking to school alone

[ThePosieParker]

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

How did you not know their mother was following at a distance behind them in order to teach them road sense etc?

Why did you not keep trying the school first or pop in to see them if you were so concerned?

Why the SS (or affiliated)?

I too would be concerned about the two small children but I would like to think that had I been so concerned I would have followed them to school to see whether a parent did indeed appear and if not then go into the school to chat with a teacher or HT.

YANBU but you took it too far re the SS.

but surely it wouldn't hurt to ring the school? I would, I definitely would.

So,,,,do you know the family OP?

as i said im confused at what info you would have been able to give SS?

Of course children need to learn it's a busy world, and adults need to teach them this, I am not suggesting that children should be driven to shcool until the age of 18.

In Belgium it's normal for children to walk or cycle to school from the age of 8. But not the age of 6, 5 or 4.

We all need to look out for children in our society. PP did the right thing, instead of just ignoring it and thinking that it was someone else's responsibility, or making any manner of possible sometimes far fetched scenarios to excuse the parents, she took the responsibility herself and reported it.

You could provide hundreds of examples of five year olds walking safely to school and loving it, and it still wouldn't mean that the other very young children - the ones walking dangerously to school because their parents have made stupid or drunk or drugged decisions - don't exist. They do exist. Which are you dealing with when you see oddly, unusually young children walking alone somewhere? It could really be either, that's the problem. I'm really surprised so many people here would find it so easy to walk past without giving it a second thought, and not only that that they think anyone looking into it further is actively wrong to do so.

Just seen that you had to call someone else, ok that's fine. I'm sure it'll all be sorted out ASAP and you did the right thing.

The people to ignore are the ones on here saying its not your business, not the two kids on their own. Well done. Come and sit next to me, we need more people who give a damn.

most people have said that they would contact the head - not that they would walk past and not give a second thought

I just can't understand why you rang SS. I can understand the emotional feeling that you wouldn't do this, or expect your dcs to do this (I wouldn't) but these aren't your children and you have no reason to suspect they are at risk of harm. Of course we must all look out for vulnerable members of society, and a crying child, a frightened child, a filthy child, a lost child etc etc requires kind adult attention. But two kids on their way to school? Not running wildly in the road/ being bundled into a car/ tripping up/ - why?

Ah, but the OP said that she wanted to phone the school

but what did she do? She phoned social services. That is completely over the top, pointless as she didn't even know their names and actually a nasty thing to do. School would have been the best place to report them to, if she had to.

I don't think it matters if she phoned ss or the school.

The SS will phone the school now anyway. I thought schools and SS work closely together.

why on earth do children need to start learning independence at six and four? Why? They're children, and as parents it is our responsibility to look out for their welfare.

"I used to walk to school" means nothing. Back in the day we didn't have carseats either, but I don't see anyone advocating that as being a good idea these days.

If those children had been run over the thread would have gone down the line of "why on earth were such young children allowed to walk alone? Why on earth did no-one report them?"

While I might not have called ss I would certainly have spoken to the school.

Such young children have no place being out on their own like that - different once they get to 9/10 and they'll be going to secondary, but reception/y2 are still tiny. There's no excuse for it - they don't need independence at that age. If you cant be arsed to walk your children to school then don't bloody have children.

Didn't the Op say she tried the school and couldn't get through so then she rang an "agency connected to SS" - I think she's explained herself?

grumpypants - Perfect post. Says it all perfectly.

Not all posters here are saying she should have ignored the situation, just that she should have tried harder contacting the school rather than going to the SS (or affiliated).

I honestly can't believe how interfering some people are! Calling SS because two kids were walking to school without an adult (that you could see) and you call SS? For all you know they may have been walking to another house or you know what... they could be perfectly able to walk to school by themselves. It's not your choice, it's their parents.

Basically what 'goingforit' and many others have said.

People like you are a pain in the arse and a waste of resources.

goingforit but in some areas simply being sent out to cross roads and go to school alone would be dangerous enough that sending a five year old, say, to do it alone, would be neglectful. So you can't say "you don't need to act because there's no sign of neglect" if the being sent out alone is precisely the potentially neglectful act that you're worried about. That is the possible sign of neglect that you're acting on.

If she was walking her own kids to the school why couldn't she have gone in to talk to the staff?

Its ringing ss that is the arguing point not that she should of just walked past.

grumpypants yes they are at risk of harm if they're crossing roads on their own at such a young age.

it's estimated that children cannot accurately judge road crossings until they're eleven or so, so at six a child could not be trusted to cross a road safely, even more not be able to judge that his four year old sibling could cross a road safely. And in fact a six year old should not be expected to take responsibility for his four year old brother - what if the four year old ran and was killed on a road - whose responsibility would that be? And don't you think the authorities would become involved and that the parents' care of their children would be called into question? damn right it would and rightly so.

True Orissiah you are right there, but I still don't think she's done the wrong thing.

Children need to learn independence at the earliest possible stage.

If either parent was taken ill or worse suddenly, it's important for a child to be able to continue with routines. I'm not being silly enough to mean a 4 year old finding his own way to school alone, but ages of children can be deceptive and if there are two siblings together and know the route and are well behaved, I can't see the problem.

From the day we are born, we are learning. If not, we'd all be in nappies at secondary school and drinking out of bottles with teats on. We evolve, we learn, we have to cope. It is a parent's duty to evaluate and teach. We all have different comfort zones with this and unless we notice a child that's crying, or neglected, or abused, we need to recognise the child is probably mature enough to be doing what they are doing because they've been trained.

MrsNonSmoker - I do give a damn - but I give a damn about kids in danger, kids being abused, kids being neglected - not kids & parents minding their own business and making their own personal decision about whether they are able to walk to school alone or not.

goingforit, your post is nonsense.

Out of interest, what's the youngest your DC have been when you were comfortable enought to let them walk to school alone?

I think calling SS was dreadful. If you were genuinely concerned, calling the school would have sufficed.

You don't know under which circumstances these children were walking to school, and you certainly cannot know their ages just because you are a mum - I have a DD who is 10 and looks like she belongs in Reception - chubby face and all, she is TINY.

Their mother may have been ill and unable to take them - it may be a one-off, and the poor woman may be feeling absolutely distraught, and now you've landed her with SS.

They are obliged, legally, to investigate now and if this poor mother is already having problems this is probably the last thing she needs.

hmm. I'm normally in favour of freedom and responsibility at a relatively early age but I don't think many 5yos can cross the road safely.

so I would want to know for sure 1. how old the children are and 2. what is their route and do they have to cross roads.

I am a bit puzzled that no-one (that I have noticed, apols if wrong, have skim-read) has suggested asking the children themselves these things. Do we really live in a society in which talking to children you don't know is viewed with that much suspicion?

surely 30 years ago if you saw a child in a situation you were concerned about your first reaction would have been to actually talk to them?