To report two infant age children walking to school alone

[ThePosieParker]

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

Buzz - actually, don't be upset, because you have just nicely illustrated a point. Going on the scant information you offered, Posie decided confidently that your mother was lazy or negligent....but what she didn't bargain for, was the revelation that your mum, was in fact, disabled.

So there she does it again - judges with total conviction on a situation she knows nothing about. Just like this morning.

Posie - I hope you take a little something from this. Parenting is hard enough without having to wrestle past sanctimonious, ill informed stickybeaks such as yourself, pecking about our business like flustered chickens.

It's not your job to sit on the other hens' eggs ok?

Yes, I saw that one altinkum - but not the actual study itself.

6-11yrs is a huge age range in terms of ability which the report lumps together, hence wanted to see the actual study to see how it varied. Also, it assesses the status quo now, rather than the actual brain development - i.e. is it hard coded as visual development, or is it a learned skill that kids are getting less experience of these days.

As I say, this is really a side query and only related tangentially - thinking about the other side effect of more traffic on the roads these days is that we often live further from schools/rely on our cars more don't walk as much as we should so experience crossing roads is much less.

I must admit that I read the first two pages and have skipped to here.

I think it was admirable of Parker to call the head - The children sound too little to be walking to school.

My childrens school have a rule that all KS1 children must have parents in the playgrpund to drop off and pick up from the class room door. KS2 can be left in the playground and parents not be there.

I have pointed out children to our HT who have walked into school on their own wearing just a shirt and have no school bag when it was MINUS 5! As a consequence, I have offered to donate my kids coats, hats and gloves every time then grown out of them to the school so poor mites like these can wear them.

Things were different in the 70's - namely less cars on the road. I had two luckily escapes from suspected pedo's on two different occassions whilst out playing all day with friends in the fields and in the dunes - it wasnt very safe then believe me!

For what it's worth:

I walked to school from my first day, along with my brother who was 11 months older than me and my sister who was a year older than him. Can't remember exactly how far it was - a fair few streets though! We moved when I was 7, where the school was around a mile and half away. I continued to walk, often unaccompanied because I was such a dawdler, until I was around 10 when we moved to the countryside and I started catching a bus.

There were far fewer cars in those days, partly 'cos parents weren't driving their kids to school. Times and attitudes have changed.

"Posie - I hope you take a little something from this. Parenting is hard enough without having to wrestle past sanctimonious, ill informed stickybeaks such as yourself, pecking about our business like flustered chickens.

It's not your job to sit on the other hens' eggs ok?"

Loving your non-judgemental style there McHobbes.

The things that is weirdest to me about all the "I just care so much" contingent is that not one of them has even mentioned TALKING to these children.

IF I was was worried about any child that is the very, very first thing I would do.

Talk to them, like the human beings they are.

Figure out what age they are, whether their parent is around, who their teacher is.

And just to clarify - I don't especially have a problem with Posie contacted the HT at the school and giving them the heads up. That's okay - that's a discreet 'not really getting involved, but I couldn't help but notice' approach to take.

But no - after getting no satisfaction from contacting the school, Posie couldn't possibly let it go until later when someone was available to take the call....she wanted a starring role and she wanted it now, so she turned instead to Social Services, in order to satisfy her craving to meddle and feel like a good citzen.

Her first instinct was to contact the school, so she should have stuck with that. The call to SS only came about as a result of her boredom and impatience. That's why what she did was wrong. It wasn't concern for the kids that took her to SS - it was a self centred drive to interfere.

Blimey! This has got nasty since I logged off earlier. I feel a bit ashamed on behalf of some people on here.

Posie - take away from this that often in this country today, when you do kind things (esp. if they don't go quite to plan), people want to run you down to show how much cleverer they are than you.

So, if you see my children out on their own looking like they are too young to be wherever they are, report it, I don't care who to. You can still sit next to me anytime (unless you post something like this on AIBU again in which case, erm, once bitten...?)

Thanks Bibbity - I'm available for dinner parties and weddings too.

Oh do stop being so silly McHobbes.

Well if you see my kids out and about being independent and looking after themselves, leave them the fuck alone.

I am with spidookly.

"Well if you see my kids out and about being independent and looking after themselves, leave them the fuck alone."

Ditto.

I think the OP was right to be concerned on the basis of what she saw. These days, with more traffic, and larger communities, it probably isn't as safe for young children to walk to school alone as it was when we grew up.

But, and it is a big but, I think Social Services was complete overkill.

Social Services seems to be the default "go to" organisation these days. See something that might not be quite right? Call Social Services. They should be the safety net, he last defence of truly troubled families, not the starting point. There are all sorts of levels between the stranger on the street and the interference of the state - the school, the family, other mums at the school gate, a passing police officer, a lollipop lady. We complain about no sense of community anymore, but we don't give community a chance if we run straight to the state to tell us what to do.

The OP should have spoken to the school. If she couldn't get through she should have kept trying. There are all sorts of reasons why these childrn could have been alone. There is some chance that the school might be aware of them. There is no chance that social services are aware and an investigation will no be launched and an entirely innocent family might be damaged as a result.

This is not something that should have been done lightly. For the sake of waiting a couple of hours, surely it would have been better to make sure of the situation?

why do you want to report these two dc for doing something that should be.......
celebrated and why not get your dc walking with them? Then get other friends to get thier dc to walk along and more and more until we can get dc walking to school alone just like they should be

Where I live I see children of that age and younger out in the streets alone all the time, and often doing more dangerous things than just walking along the pavement (climbing alarmingly high walls etc). If I called SS every time I saw a small child without a responsible adult I'd never be off the phone.

I tend to think it's not any of my business, and there's no way social workers have the time (or indeed the right) to 're-educate' every family who doesn't quite adhere to the latest middle class values and practices.

Of course children should be walking to school. Just not on their own when they are so young.

Op does not know how old these children are, She does not know anything about them, or why they were walking, or from where, or how far. She did not contact the school, or a health visitor. She didn't ask them their names or ages.

She called Social Services. Don't all be kidding yourselves that this is always be a good thing for the children. Childrens homes and foster care can be far far worse, and also don't assume they will be fine if there is nothing wrong.

Sounds to me like OP is more concerned about indulging in moral outrage and superiority than doing anything to help anyone. She didn't do any of the things that could actually help them at all.

And nothing has really changed since the eighties, except perhaps people have far less ability to adequately judge risk.

I like you Buzz. You are smart.

I too like Buzz.

My dc primary school will not let children go home without an adult they know until Yr 5. I think this is fairly typical. Why would they do that if not for concerns over child safety?

Social services wasn't called, a duty of care team were, they are part of a family support group...

The school they were going to is in special measures, not my child's school...perhaps I should think that the HT has enough in her plate?

I did talk to the children but am wary about doing so because I don't want to blur any 'don't talk to strangers' advice that they may have been given, in fact the last thing I would want to do is erode something that may keep them safe.

I see many parenting choices I disagree with none of which I would report or even concern myself with, but two small children walking alone...well.

So will ss not be able to judge whether they should be out alone or do they automatically take kids into care when they have had a call

Blimey these poor children on a horible estate where 9 year olds smoke and a school in special measures. !!
OP you really do come across as a judgemental snob.