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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Opinion please ......

35 replies

mummyofteens · 25/01/2011 09:38

My son, aged 17, was asked by one of the assistants, in a well known high street electrical shop whether he had any money.

At the time, my son was looking at the camera equipment. He is very interested in photography and will spend ages looking through camera magazines.

I have to say that he was not touching anything, messing about or doing anything other than just looking the camera filters.

Not that it should matter but he was fairly well dressed - usual uniform of track pants, superdry hoodie and padded gilet.

Am I being unreasonable to think that he shouldn't have been asked such a question - advice please :)

OP posts:
mutznutz · 25/01/2011 09:40

You're right..what he was wearing doesn't matter.

I think the assistant could have worded it better, but to be honest they probably spend a huge chunk of their day on time wasters who actually don't have any intention of buying.

PlanetLizard · 25/01/2011 09:49

YANBU.

What a rude comment. They should be polite to all customers regardless of age/clothing, not ask them personal questions! Your son's financial status is none of their business until he takes something to the till to buy.

What if they'd asked this question to a well-dressed 50-year-old woman? They might well receive a complaint! And any other customer should not be asked this either. Your son, and all customers, deserve proper treatment in shops.

Phone and ask to speak to the manager, or if that gets you nowhere, find the customer services details on their website and write a letter to head office. If still no luck, the local paper (or the Daily Mail!!!) might be interested....

PlanetLizard · 25/01/2011 09:50

(and by "financial status" I just mean it's only the shops business that he can pay for the item, not that they should know anything else!)

Bloodymary · 25/01/2011 09:53

Agree with PlanetLizard.
They should not get away with speaking too your son like that!

Original poster
mummyofteens · 25/01/2011 10:02

Thank you PlanetLizard and Bloodymary - your comments confirm how I felt about the comment. I appreciate they get people 'timewasting' but these shops are there for you to go and look at the gadgets!

My DH and DS went to the shop and the assistant said she had never seen my son before and denied asking him the question - why would we make it up!!!

OP posts:
jeanvaljean · 25/01/2011 10:06

Are you only allowed to go into a shop and browse if you intend to buy now?

How ridiculous. Had that assistant been helpful he might have got a sale off your son rather than him going home and buying it off Amazon like all the rest of us.

PlanetLizard · 25/01/2011 10:07

Perhaps it's on CCTV?

CrapBag · 25/01/2011 10:08

YANBU.

I always go into shops and look at stuff even though I know I'm not going to be buying it, or if I am doing a bit of research into something I am looking to buy. Never been asked that question though.

I would complain to the shop tbh, if you can be bothered. This was rude. She obviously knew she shouldn't have said it by denying that she had said it. Point out in a letter about why it would be a waste of your time to lie about something like this.

fedupofnamechanging · 25/01/2011 10:10

I would email their customer complaints dept and make a proper complaint, including that the assistant denied it when challenged by your DH. Hope you got the assistants name.

Appalling way to treat a young person

MrsDanverclone · 25/01/2011 11:32

It really, really bugs me, when teenagers are assumed to be up to no good in shops. They have as much right as anyone else to browse the goods for sale.
I would make a written complaint, including the information that your son was browsing with the purpose of informing you what he wished you to buy for his birthday, therefore due to their disrespectful treatment of customers, you will not be buying anything from them and naming a rival store, you will take your custom else where.

Original poster
mummyofteens · 25/01/2011 11:54

thank you for your comments - makes me realise I am normal for being upset at this comment. My DH has made a complaint and we are waiting to hear from the area manager ..... many thanks everyone!

Can't imagine that comment being made to anyone other than a teenager, that's what makes it so so wrong :(

OP posts:
woollyideas · 25/01/2011 11:59

YANBU. My daughter is 'followed' by shop assistants every time she goes into Boots and has been asked a couple of times if she 'intends to buy anything'.

She does take an irritatingly long time to decide what to buy, but that's because her pocket money is low and precious...

diddl · 25/01/2011 12:00

I`ve never looked at stuff I can´t afford and certainly never tried on an expensive coat that I had no intention of buying, oh no!

YANBU

bubbleymummy · 25/01/2011 12:02

How rude! Even if he wasn't planning to buy anything that day he might have been looking for something to ask for as a birthday present or something! I'm glad you made a complaint.

SherbetDibDab · 25/01/2011 12:04

YANBU and the shop staff are being idiots.

It would be cool if he could go back with 6 large bags stuffed full of camera equipment, just to say ner! - like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

I assume when he is ready to buy some camera equipment, he'll go elsewhere.

Original poster
mummyofteens · 25/01/2011 12:05

Woollyideas, I think that is so wrong. Surely there are no time limits on how long she can look and the high street shops wonder why kids prefer to shop online.

My DS had only popped into town to buy a new calculator. He had texted a friend to check exactly what type was allowed (Maths a level exams this week) and while he was waiting for a reply, he thought he would have a quick look around.

When he got home, he mentioned to me what had happened and I was cross about it but not sure whether I was over-reacting - he is my PFB after all :)

OP posts:
0karen · 25/01/2011 12:06

How would they know they have not got a birthday coming up or something

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 25/01/2011 12:07

Track pants only count as reasonably well dressed if you are doing/are about to do/have done some sport.

But thats beside the point. it is up to the shop how tolerant they are of people browsing who have no intention of buying.

swanandduck · 25/01/2011 12:09

In fairness, the shop may be fed up of teenagers hanging around, being noisy, buying nothing etc. Unfortunately it means teenagers like your son, who was genuinely interested in the products, get tarred with the same brush.

BitOfFun · 25/01/2011 12:11

I imagine they were more worried about shoplifting than timewasting. It is part of their job to keep an eye on lurkers. In this case, your son was browsing, but that can look like lurking iyswim...

GnomeDePlume · 25/01/2011 12:14

John Lewis used to ask 'how are you going to pay for this?' Obviously meant what method of payment but I was always tempted to answer 'I have got a job you know!'

It is possible that the shop asistant was intending to ask a reasonable question but was just cack handed about it.

swanandduck · 25/01/2011 12:18

When we were kids we were often kicked out of shops because we were just hanging around and not buying anything. I don't think it bothered my mother in the slightest.

yama · 25/01/2011 12:20

Definitely normal to be upset.

My friends and I were asked to 'move on' in a shopping centre when I was 17. It was embarrassing and unfair. Still annoys me and I'm 35 now.

mumbar · 25/01/2011 12:34

YANBU to be upset, I'm not sure if it is OK for a shop to ask this, but it guess it comes under the umbrella of protecting their interests?

swanandduck · 25/01/2011 12:38

I agree that 'have you any money' was a really crass way of putting it. 'Are you buying anything' would have been better. In fairness, if someone has no intention of buying, the shop has no obligation to accommodate them. It's their premises.