To expect my husband not to throw the fact that he's the one with the bloody job and the income back at me!!!!!!

[Silverstar214]

Why is it that men think that just because they are the ones who have a paid job that they can start acting like Hitler?

OP-can you access finances online?

I know sometimes if my husband is looking at something he would rather finish & then let me look.

Don´t know why.

Getorf is right. There's a saying isn't there, if you want something doing, ask a busy person. Its very true- often, the more you do, the more you find you're capable of doing. Tens of thousands of households with both parents working manage to cope with all the housework, getting the kids to and from childcare etc.

The thing that stands out most to me is that if the op is suggesting she cant work, even when her older two children were in school, then she's heading for 20 or so years out of the workplace altogether. Realistically the only employment available after that is likely to be menial unskilled work- cleaning, shop work- and as the op is already complaining about the tedium of the daily housework routine, thats not something she's going to embrace. In all honesty if I were in her position with a self employed husband, with the current depressing news about the economic climate, id be getting myself skilled up in readiness for earning so that you can both contribute financially as well as in other ways. And there's no law which says women have to be martyrs and do most of the housework as well as working- if a woman allows that to happen then more fool her. Men are perfectly capable of doing the domestic stuff - and women are capable of contributing financially

I think are are more positives to working too, with two in school it would be mainly childcare for the little one but thats easily solved with a nursery/childminder.

I dont get you cant be supportive yet work too, millions do it every day. Neither do I get the argument re its easier to be home in case the other has to go away or work late - surely if they have that type of job then the other finds something with reliable hours or use a nanny to cover late finishes.

At the end of the day the OP chose to have another child knowing she was bored of staying home and that finances were not great so the best thing for both sides would be to look to go back to work and reduce the financial burden on her DH especially after ten years of him being the only one working and financing the household.

Not everyone can afford a nanny Happy. Even with 2 salaries coming in.

The thing I don't get about this is why would you both choose to have another child when there's an economic downturn, the husband is probably already stressed to the max worrying about paying the bills, so what makes having another child amidst all the chaos make any sense?? A baby won't make you feel any better about your situation when you already feel rubbish about staying at home. If you really wanted to work you would have had a plan of action already set up by now whilst your two eldest were at school. Can you not go self-employed yourself?