to think that when my partner, who has managed 4 "write off" crashes in two years, comes home and says "Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"

[Catnao]

...it's not unreasonable that I am nervy when getting in the car with him, and don't allow him to take our son out with him by himself? (I can't drive, by the way).

Yes - I do think he should def drive more carefully, hence OP. They were small crashes though?

i think you should leave him ............... to drive on his own and take the bus! [bwink]

Sorry anyfucker - yes I do feel angry about his driving - but maybe I am also guilty of being defensive of him - I suppose I wanted to shock, but all he has been guilty of is caelessness..

carelessness kills

He is just a bad driver and the roads are full of them -not all have had prangs but that is pure luck on their part. He does need some refresher lessons though because he sounds like he has not mastered the basics.
Why not leave him until he has had them -that will teach him a well earned lesson.
Not that some of the responses have been ott or anything.

or just tell him not to drive til he has had them?

tell the mother whose child has been killed by a "careless" driver that

and I say that to shock you

I would much rather say it to him though

this isn't your doing

but please don't defend him

cat...what would he do if you showed him his thread

honest answer, quick, before you put a defensive spin on it

this thread

chippy is a bloke though, so may be posting from a 'Well, get a grip on the ott responses girlies' POV.
Come the revolution, I will have testosterone-fulled wankers gelded and pulling handcarts to deliver meals on wheels to the elderly.

OK, is the insurance fully comp? If so, I'd suggest he downgrades to 3rd party, fire & theft, AND buys himself a car worth thousands not hundreds. Sounds to me like he doesn't care too much about the old bangers. He's clearly too immature to understand grown up things like other people's health and wellbeing. A "prang" on an expensive car, not covered by insurance, might just hit him where it hurts and make him think twice.

Catnao - the following may give you some comfort, in the sense that it could be a lot worse.....

My Ex (shortly before I met him in 2000) fell asleep at the wheel , causing £5k+ damage to his car.

2 years later, he rear ended someone at traffic lights and wrote that car off (£4000).

2 years after that he reversed into someone at lights (dont even ask). Luckily minimal damage. However a couple of months later he drove the car when it clearly had a mechanical fault, and as a result left the car needing an engine rebuild (£2k).

The following year we had a non fault accident where a bus drove into us and wrote off car.

The year after that (in a new car with parking sensors) he reversed into someone - £500 damage. His excuse was he had turned off the parking sensors because he was listening to a CD!

He had 2 other (fault) accidents before I met him, and had been banned from driving for doing 127mph on the motorway.

He is a crap, inattentive driver (as well as being a total fucking idiot) and I always found being in the car with him an extremely stressful experience which I am glad I no longer have to endure.

I do agree your DH might benefit from advanced driving course. I think they focus on things like attention etc. My Ex however is beyond hope......

"Just a prang" for a wanker driver in the north west ran me off the motorway and I was very lucky to escape unscathed, having got out of the car and across the carriageway before 3 cars ploughed into the back of mine. We couldn't afford fully comp and the wanker drove off without leaving details so we lost our car, and I was that traumatised I lost my ability to drive on fast roads ever again.

SoMuchToBits, I read and understand your post.

Like I said, i'm a nervous driver but I believe that makes me a safer driver because I drive slowly and carefully and ignore the prats that honk their horns when I take my time making a manoeuvre, and I believe you would be better than you give yourself credit for. I have been driving over 16 years and never had an accident.

I had exactly the same difficulties as you while driving, but over the years have got more confident. Then again I had no choice in the matter.

cat ? I have no wish to badger you...but did you think about my suggestion ?

Goblinchild:

"You don't think that the prat's own assessment of
"Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"
is a clear enough self analysis of his competence on the road?"

That post made me snort tea all over my keyboard!

Gaelic -my definition of a prang does not include a collision on a motorway -sounds horrendous.

Goblin -not really coming from the perspective you described. Hopefully I do not fit the bill of a testerone -fuelled wanker driver (24 years, no points and no crashes). Was taught from day one that cars are killing machines (my Dad) when in the wrong/incapable/thoughtless hands and that still holds today and will pass on to my DCs.

Hard to judge when we do not know the full details of the 4 incidents but from what I can glean the OPs DP just requires further lessons and a self examination of himself and his driving because he has not really got is sussed by the sounds of it.

Mine neither chippy. Clearly that's all it was to the driver in question though. It was a glancing blow when he cut me up. I careered into the crash barrier and ended up in the outside lane of the slip road. He pulled up, checked his car and drove off. Tosser.

This thread has made me more angry than nothing else on MN.. (and that's saying something!)

Why the fuck is this person still allowed to drive? Is he properly insured?

Grrrrrr [BANGRY]

grrrrr @ [BANGRY]

should have been [bangry]

Please tell me it wasn't the M62, my least favourite motorway on the planet when I livesd in Lancs, gaelicsheep.
I use the M25 now on a weekly basis, it's a lot less scary.

If it's the A40 then I feel you're obliged to tell us the Reg....

Goblins in tanks.
Join me to eliminate the menace of idiots in cars Jareth. We could recycle them into interesting and two-dimensional advertisments on the need for safe driving.

What about everyone else on the roads he inflicts his careless driving on? He should not be driving as he is a hazard to everyone else